I'm sorry if your relationship isn't everything you want it to be. Only a few get to have that distinction, regardless of what their SO does for a living.
As long as you both respect and communicate with each other it can be great. Sounds so simple, but based on who we all think we are, that respect and communication can be hard.
As for her profession, everyone who works is in effect selling themselves for money. Some sell companionship. Some sell brain or brawn. For some reason her field of work is villified by society.
When the day ends where is she? With you. Your future is right there in the present. Not locked in the past of that day.
Been there, done that, and wish I hadn't on this one. Had a "relationship" with a provider as I too hit a point where I was wanting more than physical contact. Based on my experience it was a VERY BAD idea. The more involved it gets, which is satisfying on some level, the more impossible it gets to become "attached" to a professional. If you want and need a relationship LOOK ELSEWHERE otherwise prepare for a lot of frustration. At the relationship level it is not a hobby but a heartbreak waiting to happen. It will also screw badly with your perception of what is "real".
Good Advice. My fiancee however is an ex-provider and for me things worked out beautifully (see my posts down the board).
However, where for me the conundrum started was when she asked if she could see me outside of work. I had been a regular for some time (and she was a 10x10 GFE all the way) and had started in the hobby as a way of rebuilding myself after a messy, expensive, and ego-shattering divorce. As things would have it, I was gradually falling in love with her, but I was well aware that a) Most providers DO NOT want to get into a relationship outside of work
with a client and b) Even if she DOES, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak and HUGE emotional turmoil if you do, owing to the nature of her work. Plus, "Dynamic Instability" seems to be a constant for the girls involved in the "life".
I handled it by just flat going into denial about her work and busying myself in mine. Plus Barbara had the wisdom to, no matter what, SET ASIDE TIME FOR US no matter which of her other clients
would call. And she got the calls. She had one other regular who would send his Learjet to OC to fly her back to Chicago for a
"weekend". You haven't had jealousy until you've driven your sweetie to the executive air terminal so she can be flown away
for a luxury weekend of sex with another man. Knowing that she was doing this because it was the only way a cash-strapped single Mom could purchase an education and escape from the "life" didn't make it any easier. The only thing I could really do was roll with it, not fight it because what she was doing for me psychologically was putting me back together again.
She finally left the "life" last year after graduating from Otis and beginning a new and (lucrative) career as an Interior Designer. Interestingly, some of her DESIGN clients are former
clients of her former profession and she sometimes shares with me
(when she's warm and close to me in bed) how this guy has a young
new "trophy" wife but he can't get it up without huge quantities
of Viagra or the private proclivities of others. She is however
still a PRO in that she never tells me their names, although as it turned out one of her "clients" also turned out to be one of MINE in my business!!
To wind this up, I took her to SF last February with daughter in tow, so she could meet my parents and family, who had come to know of our relationship and were DYING to meet her. And at dinner, when I was asked to make a short "speech", I got up and spoke briefly about how things had changed in my life and how
much B. was responsible for that. And then, I asked her to stand up next to me, took both her hands in mine,reached in my pocket,
POPPED THE QUESTION and put the ring on her finger (her daughter,
my sisters and my Mom, were, of course, in on the secret).
She didn't know what to say(although she told me later it didn't
come as a complete surprise)but, she gave me a look as if she
were buying a horse at auction, looked me up and down, and then
took my hands in hers and said.....YES.
We are getting married in Las Vegas(is there really anywhere
else?) March 12, 2005. It is also My Dad's 80th birthday so
it will be a PARTY to end all parties. Plus her folks are coming too (they had written her off when they found out she was escorting)so it will be love and reconciliation all around. I feel privileged to be a part of it.....
BTW she has given me a LIFETIME PASS to "hobby", so long as it is
mostly "virtual"........
I'm sorry if your relationship isn't everything you want it to be. Only a few get to have that distinction, regardless of what their SO does for a living.
As long as you both respect and communicate with each other it can be great. Sounds so simple, but based on who we all think we are, that respect and communication can be hard.
As for her profession, everyone who works is in effect selling themselves for money. Some sell companionship. Some sell brain or brawn. For some reason her field of work is villified by society.
When the day ends where is she? With you. Your future is right there in the present. Not locked in the past of that day.