Do you dread the approaching winter as you watch the autumn leaves slowly cascade from the trees? Are you searching for a way to postpone the inevitable arrival of the winter snow? Well, then, search no longer – I have a solution ☺  

Keep old man winter at bay by funding my winter charity. Murphy’s Law and reverse psychology ensure that the more you donate to my ‘winter fun fund’, the less likely I am to have ‘winter fun.’ In laymen’s terms – the more you donate to my ‘winter fun fund’, the less snow we will have here in the Midwest. I’m sure everyone remembers the beat-down ‘old man winter’ doled out upon us last season. Do you really want to deal with that much snow again this winter?  

Happy November!  There are only 4 more days left until my first day of snowboarding this season (VAIL!). My winter fun means snowboarding 40 mph down the side of the Rocky Mountains  – but I need lots of fresh snow (and lots of money – hey, at least I’m honest!) to hit that speed without pulling a Sonny Bono into a tree.    

All contributions are anonymous and tax-deductible. All funds collected are used solely for the purpose of the winter charity and not transferrable. Charity funds are only used for snowboarding – they are not used to support a sleazy-lazy boyfriend/pimp or to feed any monkeys-on-the-back.   ‘Tis the season of giving, so donate now!  

Exclusive contributor benefits include the ability to place your ‘source’ in my ‘fund’ – SO GO FUND ME! In addition to keeping the snow away, these charitable contributions keep my body lean, toned, and deliciously edible. Be an American, and support your amateur athletes today.  

 
Current vouches/references required.  
Current Contributors:  Please contact me about your donor discount.

PM me here, or email me at [email protected].  
If you know you, feel free to text me.  

 
ABOUT ME!
I'm the perfect height at 5'7", with long, long legs for days, and I'm the perfect weight at 110 pounds, but I'm definitely not skeleton-crackhead thin.  I've never had any children, so I'm not covered in hideous stretch marks, and I have a perfectly flat and toned abdomen.  I see a personal trainer 3 times a week to keep my derriere firm, tight, and irresistible. I’ m also very, very flexible -- I can do the splits! I'm an avid snowboarder in the winter (snowboarding is probably more expensive than a drug addiction!)  I'm in my early 30s, and I have degrees in Bio and Chem from IU; I also spent 2 years in grad school at UC's college of engineering (ask me about my oil spill research!).  I love to read (currently reading Leah Remini's tell-all book about Scientology called 'Troublemaker'), I love sewing/crafting (yes, I'm a big dork!) , and I'm an avid NFL/MLB/MLS fan -- I've been to 3 Bengals games this year, went to the MLB All-Star game and the CONCACEF Gold Cup (soccer) earlier this summer, and spent 2 weeks at the World Cup in Brazil last summer :