Of course you're frustrated and angry. You should be. But if she was willing to say anything that's going to make you feel better, she would've said it already, you wouldn't have to reach out to her. Given she knows you traveled three hours just to see her, the one word "sorry" is NOT an actual apology. So she still owes you that. I wouldn't expect to get it. It sounds like she didn't want to see you anymore for whatever reason anyway. Maybe she was double booked and maybe she wasn't, but she's shown zero interest in keeping your business. Personally, I don't understand why you'd even consider seeing her again. If she's in the Phoenix metro, I wish you'd tell us who she is.
Sometimes shit happens and people have to cancel and we should all be able to be okay with that -- if basic courtesy is shown. I'm not even talking about offering a discount or something like that, just act like you give a damn. She has not, because she does not. She obviously has enough clients that she doesn't need you or your money, and more power to her! Why beg her to take your money? You said yourself you found someone new who was pretty great. I wonder what else is out there, waiting for you to get over her? I'd be interested to see some provider opinions here.So, I am looking for advice. I made an appointment a week in advance for a provider that lives 3 hours from me. I have seen her about 5 times. She knows that I travel to see her. Yes, she is THAT good.
On the day of the appointment, I get near her incall and text her that I have arrived (1pm). She texts back saying, "Oh no, I have another appointment at 1pm. Sorry."
That was it. No other communication. Nothing about making it up or anything else.
So, I just figure let it go. These things happen. Usually she is not like that at all. If she has to cancel she makes it up.
But, its been a week since that happened, and I am still disappointed and a bit angry, naturally.
I would like to see her again.
I am considering emailing her to talk about what happened - give her the benefit of the doubt and all. And see if she offers additional time to make it up or something along those lines.
What are your thoughts?
It's just good practice so that doesn't happen. As to recourse, I'd email her and start with what you went through and see how she responds to that. I wouldn't ask for compensation. If there is no satisfactory response, then you get to decide what to do then.
3 hours of driving is 6 hours round trip. That must have really sucked.
Yea. Good advice.
I actually found this other provider on the way home who was awesome! Made the day more enjoyable 😀
She should do two things:
1) submit a payment to you for the mileage reimbursement rate 57.5 of cents per mile
2) comp a free bj
I actually found this other provider on the way home who was awesome! Made the day more enjoyable 😀
Looks like you found the answer to the situation - find a new ATF!
I reconfirm the day of, she 'sounded' excited, then crickets. I gave her the benefit of doubt and called the next day, VM.
Though she IS a looker and great in the sack, not bothering to respond at all is a cause for her to end up in my DNS list.
I'm glad the OP had his issue resolved and blame can be laid at signal interference; hence I voice confirm to have clear place and time etched in sandstone.
(she isn't reviewed by me.
Can I ask you why you are allowing yourself to be a doormat for this woman? While we've only heard your side of the story so far, if what you say is true then she treated you very, very badly as a hobbyist. Don't lose sight that at it's heart this is a business transaction and she as a business woman should be held accountable when she treats a client poorly.
If I drove three hours to see someone and they blew me off, I would out their bad behavior here for all to see and then start looking for another provider who valued me as a client.
On the day of the appointment, I get near her incall and text her that I have arrived (1pm). She texts back saying, "Oh no, I have another appointment at 1pm. Sorry."
That was it. No other communication. Nothing about making it up or anything else.
So, I just figure let it go. These things happen. Usually she is not like that at all. If she has to cancel she makes it up.
But, its been a week since that happened, and I am still disappointed and a bit angry, naturally.
I would like to see her again.
I am considering emailing her to talk about what happened - give her the benefit of the doubt and all. And see if she offers additional time to make it up or something along those lines.
What are your thoughts?
A six hour drive only to get no pussy....sounds like a bad long distance relationship. If she had seen and remembered you from prior and all she can say is sorry...screw her. Not literally of course.
No matter how fine, if it is paid pussy I would only let that happen once. That would be a deal killer. As for people saying she should compensate you for mileage, offer discounted rates or give explanations?? This isn't Target, you don't have a receipt. Personally I would be too pissed to ever let her make another dollar off me. She fucked up and lost out on your business. End of story.
Of course you're frustrated and angry. You should be. But if she was willing to say anything that's going to make you feel better, she would've said it already, you wouldn't have to reach out to her. Given she knows you traveled three hours just to see her, the one word "sorry" is NOT an actual apology. So she still owes you that. I wouldn't expect to get it. It sounds like she didn't want to see you anymore for whatever reason anyway. Maybe she was double booked and maybe she wasn't, but she's shown zero interest in keeping your business. Personally, I don't understand why you'd even consider seeing her again. If she's in the Phoenix metro, I wish you'd tell us who she is.
Sometimes shit happens and people have to cancel and we should all be able to be okay with that -- if basic courtesy is shown. I'm not even talking about offering a discount or something like that, just act like you give a damn. She has not, because she does not. She obviously has enough clients that she doesn't need you or your money, and more power to her! Why beg her to take your money? You said yourself you found someone new who was pretty great. I wonder what else is out there, waiting for you to get over her?
I'd be interested to see some provider opinions here.
in this case, she just double booked herself and screwed you. It's not a case of some family emergency, car trouble ,etc - she simply stated that she had another client at 1pm. It means she booked a longer session or she prefers not to see you. Move on. There is no respect here.
Since there is no other side to this story, all I can go by is what I'm reading.
Speaking for me personally, the only way I would ever stand someone up in that fashion would be if I got hit by a bus or a relative dropped dead and I had to rush to a hospital. I never take someone's time for granted, nor do I ever allow anyone to take my time for granted.
What makes this situation even more baffling is the fact that you pre-booked, kept your end of the agreement, she flaked and then didn't even give you the respect of a follow up after her conflict in scheduling caused your day to abort. WTF???
If I screwed up that bad, I'd be falling all over myself to follow up with you ASAP and beg for forgiveness. Not for the sake of preserving you as a client but for the mere fact that I would be sincerely embarrassed and regretful that I screwed up. I'd consider it an honor if you were to ever pondered seeing me again. I wouldn't even ask if you were still interested. I would only want to extend a sincere apology.
If there is more to the story, such as perhaps she didn't want to see you anymore, then there should have been no confusion about a pre-booked appointment.
But just for safety sake, let’s say you are the biggest douche on the planet, you don’t deserve to have your time jerked around. Time is money. I don’t care what profession you’re in.
I’ve got my opinions about the type of provider you were seeing, but since I don’t feel like having my ass handed to me I’ll sit on my fingers.
Sorry to read about your experience. Sorrier to see you’re asking for advice about what to do. I’d move on, end of story.
I wouldn’t be shy about sharing the information of someone who treats people like shit either
Thanks for everyone's replies and PM's.
BTW: She is not in Phoenix
And, I don't want to speak (or write) negatively about her personally. She really is a very warm and kind person. That is why this is confusing and why I'm conflicted.
Plus, I don't have all the information from her side.
We get along wonderfully. So, ostensibly, its not personal, although its still not respectful (without knowing anything else).
Of course, I would be foolish if I just made another appointment without talking with her and feeling some genuine sense of contrition from her.
I am leaning toward writing her and seeing what happens.
I am not so attached to her that I would be hurt if I don't receive a satisfactory response.
Of course the benefit is my internal conflict will be hopefully lessened (or at least being assertive might make me feel better).
If I just let it go without contacting her then I feel my good memories with her might be clouded (although over time that is probably not true -- gotta love euphoric recall.)
One thing you may want to consider is the not she but her "boyfriend" texted you. If he is spending time with her at that moment he didn't want a client to interrupt so he could have pretended to text you to disparage you from coming to the appointment. I can say this has happened to me a few times and the lady called me back days or maybe a week later with the excuse her boyfriend had control of her phone and now they are "broken up" yet again and then asking to get together for a makeup. Just last weekend I had a hotel set up for a big party with a girl, but then she informed me she was at the movies. I suppose it all turned out ok because my tire blew out on the freeway prior to the appointment anyway and I was also lucky to be able to find a shoulder - as there are not many shoulders left on the freeways anymore!!!
Don't out her because you will be made like you were in the wrong. I outed a provider a couple of months, same situation but not 3 hour drive ....i was surprise how many took her side and said i was wrong to out her. I had seen her almost 10 times
BTW: She is not in Phoenix
And, I don't want to speak (or write) negatively about her personally. She really is a very warm and kind person. That is why this is confusing and why I'm conflicted.
Plus, I don't have all the information from her side.
We get along wonderfully. So, ostensibly, its not personal, although its still not respectful (without knowing anything else).
Of course, I would be foolish if I just made another appointment without talking with her and feeling some genuine sense of contrition from her.
I am leaning toward writing her and seeing what happens.
I am not so attached to her that I would be hurt if I don't receive a satisfactory response.
Of course the benefit is my internal conflict will be hopefully lessened (or at least being assertive might make me feel better).
If I just let it go without contacting her then I feel my good memories with her might be clouded (although over time that is probably not true -- gotta love euphoric recall.)
IMHO, you are considered a regular client and the way she handled the entire situation was very Unprofessional.
Although she should have already touch basis with you to make amends and has not done so yet, shoot her an email and address the situation. If you are still not satisfied with her actions, cut her lose and find you another provider that will treat you with alot more respect.
Good luck
...would have a higher president over all others.
MsManae
MsManae
Auto correct...precedent.
If you're that enamored with her, why not call her and work it out, or just move on?
So, I decided to give the benefit of doubt and express to the provider that I was confused and upset about the situation.
She provided a thorough and satisfactory explanation - one in which I could personally relate.
Basically, making a long explanation short, the night before she sent me a text alerting me that she couldn't make our next-day appointment, and the text was delayed reaching me. I had the same problem a week ago where a friend said I didn't text but then got my text 3 days late! In fact it has happened more times than you might believe.
Anyway, she was very apologetic and said she would make it up to me.
She is typically filter-less and shamelessly honest when she speaks so I do have some empirical evidence to support the veracity of her claim : )
I'm glad I reached out, and probably should have done so before posting. "Damn it me - think before you write!"
But you had already pre booked an appointment with her then she books with some one else.
That's disrespectful to you when she knows you're a regular client.
Like I said move on. This is a one strike hobby.
Actually, and I should have mentioned it previously, in her explanation she said that she wrote me in for the following day. Again, I have found her to be truthful, so I can chalk it up as mistake and not malicious.
Furthermore, she really is awesome and I do not want to disparage her at all.
JJ we're all adults here so you do whatever fits your fancy and if she's has good as you say keep on plugging along. We're only here to offer advise but you choose what you want do not us.
Enjoy
Cool. Thanks
But I in no way possible would EVER remember a date booked a week previous. I ALWAYS ask for a reminder text or call a few hours before date. Believe me , I wish I could be that organized, alas, I am not.