I ran these a while back.  Here they are updated.

I’ve been called a slutpuppy, a sportf*cker, a cad and a worm….

Statistics say everything,  statistics mean nothing.

# of years in the hobby:  35+
# of providers I’ve seen, total:    uh, 300?  400?  More?  

Approximate breakdown by type:  SWs – 150+   Massage Parlors – 50+  Brothel Girls (high end)  125 +   Professional Doms or Subs in Appropriately Equipped Facilities:  24   Internet Independents 50 +   Internet Agency Girls – 1

# of providers w/ whom I’ve had dinner in a restaurant:  8

# I’ve had breakfast with:  5  

# I’ve seen a movie in a theater with: 0

# I’ve seen a live show w/: 3  

# I’ve seen a concert w/:  3  

# I’ve traveled with:  3  

# I’ve done overnights w/: 6  

# times she asked me to stay the night:  once

#  who were: artists  2;     writers:  0     musicians:  0   interior designers: 1  hospital employees  1; house cleaners: 2  sales reps  2     waitresses  1; fundraisers 1;   consultants 1

#  whose full, real name I know:  8

#  whose home I visited, but not as an incall location:  Two?

#  whose family members I met:  Two      

#  who met my family/friends:  One

# for whom I’ve bought  chocolates: 0; flowers: one?  Clothing: 3; jewelry: 2; trips: 3; gift certificates: 0; wine/liquor: 2; drugs: One.

# who provided services for one-digit sums:  One

# who provided services for two-digit sums:  Close to 100?

# to whom I’ve handed three-digit sums:  Ummm…300?

# to whom I’ve handed four-digit sums:  Five

# to whom I gave an Amex Gold Card: One

# with whom I had or would have a civilian relationship:  Two

# I’ve been good friends with but haven’t and won’t have sex with because of the friendship:  One.

# I would currently consider friends: five

# to whom I’ve given/loaned money because she needed it, without expectation of repayment or rendering of services:  4

# who paid it back on own volition:  Two

# times I’ve had money stolen:  0

# of times I felt I’ve been ripped off:  About a dozen (i.e., services promised but not delivered)

# with whom the session took place in an automobile and included FS:  Two

# with whom the session took place in an hourly hotel:  5

# in airplane restroom at 35,000 feet: 1

# in a hotel stairwell:  1

# in a rainforest, on a tarp:  1

# with her pet present: 2
# of times I’ve done doubles (i.e., two women): 3 or 4
# of times w/ two men, one woman:  0

# of providers whose other clients I’ve met in person:  2

# of times “caught” by police:  3  (SWs);    # of times arrested: 0

# of times I’ve caught STDs: 2 (massage parlors, early 70s)

# of times I’ve gotten the crabs: once (massage parlor, early 70s)

# of countries in which I’ve been with providers: 3; # of states: 8

# who used a term of endearment to refer to me: two

Most common name:  Tiffany

Most unusual name:  Alantra (then I figured out it was derived from a car!)

Weirdest name coincidence:  Seeing Summer in the summer and Autumn in the autumn.

Weirdest name phenomenon:  The gorgeous SW who kept changing her name every seven minutes or so.  

Most beautiful name:   Nerida  (means water lilies)

Duration of longest provider/hobbyist relationship (i.e., from first session to most recent):  14 years  (1987 -2001  -- Oh, Patty, where are you now???!)

Greatest number of sessions with a single provider:  This is hard to answer.  I had a 14-month relationship with a provider that was more like a civilian relationship than a provider-client relationship. So - maybe 250 "sessions" with her??  Second place would probably be about 50.

#  whose skin tasted of salt:  Too many.

# who wore wigs:  5

#  with seriously bad breath:  2 that I can remember distinctly

# with body odor: 0

# who farted during the session:  One or two

# who farted when she came:  One  (equal to # of civvies)

Strangest body feature:  the hearing aid implanted on the side of the head

#  who watched TV during intercourse:  One

#  who fell asleep during the session:  One

#  who insisted on using two – that’s right, two – condoms, one on top of the other, “Just in case” -- one

#  I’ve showered w/:   4

#  I’ve taken a bubble bath w/:  One

# whose pix I have or had:  six

# who have visited my office, simply as a visit, not to render services:  3

# who have visited my home, simply as a visit:  Two

# with whom I’ve had a session in my home:  One

Best game:  “Name that pussy!”  (In doubles, hobbyist is blindfolded and has to guess who’s sitting on his face)

Most touching thing said to me, but that was ridiculous in retrospect:  After a marathon three-hour session at the brothel that would have used up a couple of alphabets of acronyms, I took her out for drinks and then walked her home.  We kissed on her doorstep, then she said, in her darling Australian accent, “I’d invite you up, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”  

Best overall technique:  Staring me dead in the eye and talking dirty based on things she knew about me

Most surprising moment:  When a new provider started talking dirty with vivid fantasies in the middle of the session.

Most anticipated moment:  At the airport, meeting a provider I’d never before met for an overnight.



-- Modified on 9/20/2004 11:33:01 AM

They were really nice horses.