no one "rides" for free
OK, I'm fairly new at this hobby. and new to DATY. Would like to perfect my technique. I realize there will always be personal preferences among women, but I'm thinking there may be some tried and true techniques, just as with someone who is well-versed in giving head. So, I'm all ears. (Later I'll get my tongue busy) :~ )
Take it from a old pro, nothing matters most than good old fashion practice that makes perfect!
Seriously.
You're about to get a lot of good advice about keeping it wet, being attentive to how she is reacting, varying what you are doing as to movement, pressure, and speed, and so on, but it really all begins with being with a provider who actually wants to cum, and is able to.
One of the truths that isn't said very often on this board is that many providers have problems getting to an "O", even when they are with their SO's, much less with a client. Others can reach an "O" with their SO, but don't want to with clients. Of course, all this leads to a lot of faking when with clients.
However, there are thankfully many providers about whom this is not true, and some of them post on this board.
I recommend NOSC, a very sensual person whose O's are real.
As Jerry Seinfield pointed out:
There are two types or Women Orgasms; the real ones and they ones they make up on their own. I can give you the male point of view which is we're fine with it.
I find no two women are the same when it comes to technique. So, it's difficult to come up with a universal approach. Follow the clues, ask how you can do it better, etc. Can be trial and error, which may take more than one session for you to learn their likes and dislikes and for them to become comfortable enough to reach an O. This all assumes they are able to reach an O with a client. Alot can't. Trying to tell a real O from a fake one is an art in itself. Been many threads on that subject. From my view, not only are the personal preferences different from women to women, but the reactions or Os are just as varied.
This is my story.
Orgasms are mostly in the brain, though the sensation is in the genital area. So I always start with talking. I tell her an imaginative stroy about say a penthouse on the top floor of the tallest building in my city. The room is wall to wall windows with a 360 degree view of the water and mountains. While she relaxes and builds on the story in her mind I massage her back then move down to her bottom.
By this time she is already wet and ready. I can tell this by her hip movements and her legs being spread out. Lightly touching her old man in the boat with my finger, her wetness is spread around and her eyes become lidded.
Then licking her delores lightly I lick up and down the sides around it lightly. Flicking the very tip of it I then suck it using just my lips. In and out, just my lips sucking on it starting off softly then harder. I then insert my finger in and up into her cave of delight. The delores sits ontop a bone and behind it is a bub that feels like a soft washboard. I find that spot and rub it in a circle or back and forth, which ever gets the loudest moan and most vigorous leg jerk. I am doing this while licking directly on her delores.
When her body starts to stiffen, I aruptly stop. She opens her eyes and asks why I stopped. I then start again. As her legs shake and she stiffens again, I stop again. She cries out "Don't stop!" I start up again using my tongue on the outside and finger inside behind her delores untill she stiffens and arches her back. I stop AGAIN. She cries out "Why did you stop?? I am almost there!" I start up and this time don't stop till she stiffens and arches then her whole body jerks and she cries out "Agggghhhh!"
She then flops back on the bed and is silent for 5 minutes.
This all takes about 30 minutes.
When she wants it kinky I put on powder free latex gloves.
E Ticket - Thanks, good advice. Picked up a few tricks, even though it was not my question. When people ask for advice this is the kind of response they hope for, not the go buy a book and read about it advice.
Like you said. To each thier own.
So ask her.
One piece of advice, if she says "ooooooh right there!", stay right there! don't move! keep going. She will tell you when its time. LoL
As has been said what one woman likes another may hate but there are a few things that are pretty universal
Keep it wet while you're down there
Make sure if you don't have a beard that you are VERY clean shaven(the slightest bit of stubble will not only distract her but can be painful)
Make sure you're comfortable in your position(can breath and don't cramp up) because once you do find the right spot and technique keep going until she says stop(any interruption can put you right back at the beginning)...believe me...the fact you can't breath will NOT be considered an acceptable excuse for stopping when she is really close ~
It's also good to have music playing since with some women a noise in the hall or traffic sounds can be very distracting
If everything works like you hope when she tells you to stop...STOP(what a moment ago felt fantastic now can feel extremely unpleasant after she climaxes)...if you want to give it another go give her a minute or two to calm down(she'll let you know when it's safe to begin again)
Good luck!
I have been told that I am fairly good at it (it is always a good ego boost to hear that whether or not it is true) but would defer to the ladies.
Each person is very different and they know their bodies much better than we do.
1) Always keep your tongue soft. I guess there are some ladies that like that whole "I've turned my tongue into a cattle prod" feeling, but I don't know them. Try this on your hand... stick your tongue out and make it really hard and pointy and jab at your hand. Now make your tongue really soft and relax and lick your hand. Which feels better?
2) You can suck, but don't just grab the clit with your mouth and suck as hard as you can and don't do anything else. Clit hickies just HURT. It doesn't feel good. Suck gently and do little rythmic pulsating movements with your mouth... yummy!
3) Be clean shaven. You have NO IDEA how a 5'o'clock shadow feels down there. Yikes... it can really ruin the whole thing. Either clean shaven or know how to not grind your beard all over sensitive pussies! BTW in a 69, if you have a goatee, your goatee is then ALL OVER EVERYTHING. You might just want to forego the 69 vs making the girl all raw and owie.
4) Don't bite. Do I need to elaborate?
5) Sometimes fingers inside can be reeeeeeeeeeeally nice during, but please! Clean hands! Dirty hands can give us all kinds of probs. MANICURED clean hands. I mean no jagged long nails. Take care of your hands ahead of time. And then be gentle and follow the ladies feedback towards what she likes. BTW if using fingers on the clit, be GENTLE and increase pressure slowly. It's not a scratch off lottery ticket! Pretend you're rubbing a bubble you're trying not to pop.
6) Above all LISTEN. There is nothing I hate more than saying to someone "Please be more gentle" and having them ignore me. I think some people don't understand what that means, but generally it means EASE UP THERE KILLER! That's a pussy, not a punching bag! Lots of times I try to give gents feedback and feel like they just do not hear it at all. That drives me crazy.
7) I'm throwing this in even though it's out of place. Don't bite my tongue. Ever. There is nothing that turns me off or irritates me faster. UGH. Who EVER told guys that chicks dig that? I'd like to smack that person around.
Finally there are exceptions to every rule. All the no-no's I've just described might be some ladies' idea of heaven! ASK. And if a lady gives you some tips while you're there... LISTEN.
And have fun... I bet 99% of the prob gents have with sex is just being too darned uptight and nervous!
Hugs*
Tamara