but now you are past that point I guess. Now you have to figure out what to do....you said she wanted the job so she could get out of the adult business. I hear a lot of the guys saying that she took advantage of you, but it looks to me like you also took advantage of her. She wants to get out of the business so you offer her a job at an inflated salary so she can continue to be what....your own personal whore? If the expectations of her new position with your company were not made clear to her, then how can you blame her? She didn't decide her salary, you did. She was seeing you as a client before she got the job, and then she became your employee, anyone would assume that your relationship would change, why wouldn't you? Most people don't expect to have to f*** their boss to keep their job....what were her feelings for you? Did you two even have any discussions?
This whole story makes me feel a little sick. I don't have the whole story obviously, and neither do the other guys who replied to this post and are so judgemental toward her....there are two sides to every story.
All I can really say is, if you plan to fire her, you'd better have a really well documented LEGAL reason for doing so, or you could really find yourself up s*** creek. In the future, use the head on your shoulders to make your decisions. Sorry to be so harsh, but this could have all been avoided.
stuck. I fell big time for my x-provider. I had even hired her in my business.she stopped having sex with me a 1 1/2 years ago but thinks its seperate from working for me. I told her i paid her what i did because we were having sex and she wanted to quit dancing and hooking. Been 2 years now and her full employment falls on me. she has told me that we can't work together as a couple but I do get signals that she still wants to sleep with me. I have not asked her to. I am thinking that I should just let her go an get on with my life. she will finish her schooling in the business in april. Should i keep her or just cut my major losses. i know that it would be devestating for her money wise but i am tired or it.What do I do??
Be done with it now.
If you still feel the need to be a nice guy (even though you're being taken advantage of big time), let her finish her schooling, and then send her on her way. She won't be the first person to lose a job.
And ask yourself this: If the roles were reversed, and she was giving you sex in return for certain favors, and you stopped providing those favors; how many seconds do you think would elapse before she wouldn't remember your name?
Once you make the "nice-guy" decision to offer her employment, numerous workplace laws come into play. I suggest that you consult with an attorney who represents employers before you consider terminating her.
and forgot that it's a business and always will be. It's easy to make this mistake, I'm sure you didn't foresee anything like this happening when you offered her the position. Sometimes you need to trust and get burned before you can fully put the business in perspective.
Didn't have you a discussion with her upon offering the employment to her and her subsequent acceptance? ie...I'll pay you X dollars per week/month/year in exchange for a,b,c duties? Part of this discussion should have been specific about any provider related obligations that were tied to the salary. If you just went into it blind and figured that she understood, then you set yourself up for a fall.
Not having the full 411 on the situation makes it hard to truly understand things. If she's working for you (ie..actually doing non provider related work) she's entitled to a fare wage for that. But are you paying her a large sum of money for her employment that is clearly not in line with the job she's doing? Or is the salary in check with the job and you just expected free provider services for hooking her up with a job?
she is getting paid above what she should in the field. Simply, She makes 700.00 Salary (Cash)for working a real job. The job with her experence should pay her about 12.00 an hour tops. She only can work about 20 hours a week and only a 4 day week. Half of those hours are put in on one day. I screwed up and fell in love with her. The feelings now are not the same. I believe I could walk away and ye. She could destroy me but it is getting to the point that I don't care. I am the type of person who feels I must hold true to my promises.
but now you are past that point I guess. Now you have to figure out what to do....you said she wanted the job so she could get out of the adult business. I hear a lot of the guys saying that she took advantage of you, but it looks to me like you also took advantage of her. She wants to get out of the business so you offer her a job at an inflated salary so she can continue to be what....your own personal whore? If the expectations of her new position with your company were not made clear to her, then how can you blame her? She didn't decide her salary, you did. She was seeing you as a client before she got the job, and then she became your employee, anyone would assume that your relationship would change, why wouldn't you? Most people don't expect to have to f*** their boss to keep their job....what were her feelings for you? Did you two even have any discussions?
This whole story makes me feel a little sick. I don't have the whole story obviously, and neither do the other guys who replied to this post and are so judgemental toward her....there are two sides to every story.
All I can really say is, if you plan to fire her, you'd better have a really well documented LEGAL reason for doing so, or you could really find yourself up s*** creek. In the future, use the head on your shoulders to make your decisions. Sorry to be so harsh, but this could have all been avoided.
If the woman was to be "kept" for personal gratification, then the question to her when this started should have been how does she feel about being a paid mistress. Some people would go for such an arrangement if it allows they to pursue goals like getting an education.
The paid mistress route would have certainly involved negotiation, but she would have come into the situation with a clear understanding of what was expected of her.
It started by her saying that if I could see her once or twice a week she could stop dancing and she would get by just doing me. I said OK. Then I needed help about 2 weeks later as a person quit me in the middle of a job. She said she would help. I told her I would pay her 150.00 a day and she could work about 2 or 3 days a week. I also told her I was paying this because i was having sex with her. 6 months later when she decided to stop she owed me 2000.00 for sex we were yet to have. I was pissed and told her I was done. She said thats fine then wanted to know when she was going to start working full time so she could pay me back. I am going to let her go next week. We are on good terms but she is having a problem doing as I ask anymore.I will let her go an just try to weather the storm.
the sex stopped right when you hired her? Or did it stop after 6 months of her working for you?
Part of me wonders if it's a money issue. While she might be well paid as a paper pusher (or whatever job you have her doing), the $$ you are paying her is a paltry sum for working the job and providing escort services too. Maybe she feels that the money she's getting isn't adequate for her to be screwing you. I know some gents pay $20K/month for exclusive boning rights for a provider. (I'm not saying this is right, but it happens!) A few hundred extra per week isn't squat really.
But if upping the weekly ante doesn't change her tune, then she probably has no interest in sleeping with you no matter what, and you should probably just accept this fact. Laying her off sounds like the right thing to do in this case.
Get out of this.
Don't fire her because of "legal" issues.
Lay her off (no pun intended) because you, literally, can't afford to keep her. This way she can collect unemployment for a while.
and you can answer questions from the labor dept with no hassles.