Phoenix

Unexpected support
ItsHotOutHere 17 Reviews 897 reads
posted

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I had no idea what sort of responses I will get when I posted about my addiction. I did expect more balljointnuts to chip in with their "see I am cool" comments, but with that exception the majority of you have been extremely supportive and I thank you all for it.

The reality check for me is one of my very good friends recently out to me as he is going through a tough time and needs financial support. To cut a long story short, he had been seeing providers for over 3 years now (he is married with two adorable kids, a 4 and 2) and recently passed on a STD to his wife who is pregnant with their third kid and got found out during routine check ups. There is also a slight risk that the kid will be born infected as the doctor does not want to prescribe strong antibiotics at this stage of her pregnancy.  

So as he is kicked out of the house and trying to find his feet again - I am now understanding how an addict works. The sad part is he seems to have no moral issue with what he has done and is pretty much seeing providers this very minute. He probably does not have a TER account as he does not live in one of the listed cities. Even if he sees this, I really don't care what he thinks of me at this time.

I first gave him some money as he lied to me about what happened and once I spoke with his wife, I knew the full story. Once I heard it, the story could have been about me (minus the family stuff) and I am not better than him as a human being. I have had STI/STD before - might have even passed it to a few girls unknowingly before the STI/STD was detected and treated by my doctor.  

So that gives you context for what happened a few months back. I am still having extremely powerful urges and have acted out a few times even after knowing what happened to a once dear friend. He was/is extremely talented and now ruined everything (he just got fired a year back from his job and now working in temp positions making less than half of what he used to make). I don't think he is making any effort to make things right and just spiraling deeper an deeper into this abyss.  Less said about his pregnant wife and kids and what they are going through.

Anyways, I am seriously considering professional help as a next step. Working with my insurance to see if it gets covered, even if not - the money I am not spending in this hobby will cover the costs many times over.  

The post below mine that discusses about a provider needing help made me write my story as it is not only providers, but some of us also might need help to get back our lives.

Thanks all for your support and kindness and have a great evening

I am battling to get out of this hobby and addiction the last 3 months. I have seen only 4 providers in the last 3 months and in each case I did not do penetration. Mostly just some kissing, cuddling and dry humping to finish. The last encounter was over 3 weeks back.

I just joined the SAA this week and looking to have more rigor on breaking out of my addiction.

Been an addict for about 10 years now. The last 3 years have participated in extreme and unsafe practices as well. I am in my early thirties and planning to break free completely and start dating as a regular human and eventually have a family. Progress is slow and painful, my mind is cluttered with all the things I have done in the last 10 years with hundreds of women.

Money is the least of what I have lost (about $25,000 a year for the last 10 years - spent about $500 a week consistently). But my moral compass is what has been hurt the most. From being top of my class in grad school (both in character and studies), I am in a mid-level career, with a destroyed moral code. The potential I had is not equal to what I have achieved due to being distracted, fantasizing about sex and eventually acting upon my fantasies.

I recently had a life changing experience that reevaluated the kind of person I am to what I aspired to become when I was in Grad school. I am not happy with what I have become and trying to battle out of the addiction the last 3 months. Making progress, but it is a demon and not easy to slay.

Just wanted to expose myself for public accountability in the very place that enabled me to become who I am today - a sex addict.

Good day everyone

Hello ItsHotOutHere,

Thank you for the courage that a post like yours obviously took.  I am very familiar with addiction, as it destroyed my parent's marriage when I was a teenager.  I can only say this: My mother, who survived unspeakable cruelties as an orphan and foster child, has reinvented herself at least 7 times in the last 50 years and wouldn't trade any of it for WHO SHE'S BECOME.  So often in life, our goals are not the true measure of our success.  Rather it is the person we've become while in pursuit of the things we sought to achieve, that is the true achievement, scar tissue and all.  Choices have consequences, to be sure, and you will have to continue to reap the residual effects of your former choices, but it does get easier.

I know it doesn't feel like that now, but you've taken the early steps to recover your self-respect, reformed character, and original potential.  KEEP GOING!

I wish you all the best,

BigGQinAZ

I'm proud of you,  and you should be proud of yourself.  Stay strong, my friend!

I wish you the best in re-finding the person that is still inside you.

bigguy30974 reads

So this hobby is great but if it had such a bad effect on you.
Then it's time you close out your TER account and continue on your path of getting better.
You are doing the right thing of getting help for yourself.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the future man.

Thank you for the encouragement. I sometimes have called my favorites due to my addictive compulsion and within an hour or two will call/text them back to cancel the appointment due to the inner conflict I have. Two of them have already cut me off due to scheduling and cancelling. In once case last month, I went to the session and within 5 minutes I said I cannot do this, paid her and walked out. Such conflicts are really throwing me off balance. I luckily have a paid sabbatical from my workplace and I have taken it 2 weeks back to ensure that I can fully focus on my recovery.

I spent most of my morning to my regulars and told them I would like to quit this hobby and asked them to not return my calls or text if my addictive behavior causes me to contact them. Would need their support as well in eventually getting this out. I am trying to pull this bandaid out slowly when the common wisdom is to just pull it off. I have stopped watching porn and reduced my masturbation to once a week (from twice a day!).

Small baby steps, and I am using TER to read boards instead of reviews and ads so appease my addicted brain as TER has been a daily visit place for me. It would have been great if I could hobby without addiction, but I was not able to do so and now going through a living hell to get out..

I would suggest you get professional help too. Doing this alone is going to be hard. You are off to a good start but having some backup might get you through some bad times. Good luck

and can afford $25,000 a year for hookers trust me, your happier. Of course instead you will get married and have kids and go thru a life wrenching divorce/custody battle, lose half your shit and end up back here.  

Or, You will quit hookers hoping to find true love and when that doesn't happen overnight and you are tired of jacking off then you will be right back here looking to bang hookers.  

Best of luck
BJN

Hey BallJointNut,

You do realize that as you mock the man's sincerity and transparency on a sensitive subject such as addiction, and while so doing insult the classier and established courtesans who monitor these postings as "hookers" and Hos, that your odds of ever getting a date with anyone other than a "BP girl" diminish with every juvenile posting?

I didn't think so.

Grow up, dumbass,

BigG

GaGambler887 reads

some posts DESERVE to be ridiculed, this OP is most definitely one of them.

 
I am really a little too late to the party to do it justice, but I am glad BJN saw this for what it really was.

and I have been using the word hooker on these boards for more years than I can remember, I don't have a bit of trouble getting dates from any woman that interests me. Some of my best friends are hookers. lol

Hello Ga-Ga (BallJointNut?)

How is it that you’ve been “buying hookers”—“for more years than I can remember”, yet you haven’t written a single review in all of that time?  How do you get dates without reviews?  Is it because you’re actually the imaginary friend of BallJointNut, i.e. the fictitious alter-ego of a misogynist (look it up) who needs to demean, berate, and mock women and those of us who respect and adore them?  I’m sure your mother must be quite proud.  Thankfully, too, your daughters have you as a role model for the many charming qualities they should look for in their own life partners some day, qualities that your sons are no doubt emulating as we speak.
   
Let’s take a survey of the +$400/hour providers who read this board and ask them if they’d prefer the “Hey hooker, wanna fuck?” approach, or the more polished, polite, and respectful approach of a gentleman.  (Hell, even 80% of your BP girls' ads read, "Please be a gentleman...")  My guess is that you already know the answer—hence the alter-ego approach, lest you risk blacklisting by the very women you’re still hoping to deceive into thinking that you’re not the smart-assed Pig that so many of your other posts betray you to be.  I only went back to April, but it's obvious you're an equal-opportunity insulter of both men and women, more of an ignored nuisance than a contributor of value.    

...And BTW, that doesn’t make me “the new white knight on the board”, just a retired Navy SEAL whose parents raised him with manners and some self-control, and who has been calling out bullies like you all of my life.

Good luck with that,

BigGQinA

GaGambler828 reads

I have been on these boards for eleven years under the same handle and trust me, I have zero problems getting dates. I probably have more hooker friends on these boards than you have even seen in your entire life.

I am sorry a big tough Navy Seal like you is so sensitive that a simple word like "hooker" can turn you into mush, but I guess they just don't make Seals like they used to.

If you really have any doubts who I am, just ask on the GD board or any one of a dozen other regional boards, odds are that at one time or another I actually moderated whichever board you pick. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of people here who know who I am, who the fuck are you??

Ga-Ga?  So like an infant then, and not a teenager?

Let me get this straight: One of your posters decides to trust this community enough to share his personal struggle with addiction.  I and several others write encouraging contributions to the discourse, but one of our more annoying and self-important friends (BallJointNut) chimes in with mockery, cynicism, and a prediction that the man will fail and soon “…be right back here looking to bang hookers.”  In the first poster’s defense, I chime in questioning BJN’s absence of tact and intelligence, and suggest that by referring to them as “hookers”, he may not be attracting the top ladies—“courtesans” as they prefer to call themselves—and is merely demonstrating his piggishness publicly.  Then you, AS MODERATOR, write to defend HIM, stating that YOU disrespect providers “all the time”, have done so for 11 years, and get more pussy than anyone here.  …And then you insult my military service?  

Is THAT really your position, Mr. Moderator?  YOU’RE the type of ass-wipe that TER allows to moderate forums like this?

“Who the fuck” am I?  No one of consequence, sir, but I’ve seen and done things in my lifetime that would make a frightened little tampon like you piss/shit yourself into a whimpering ball of trembling hysterics—to the point where you’d need a month in a psych ward just to not be afraid of your own shadow afterwards.  Instead of asking who I am, you should be concerned about who YOU are, how you’ll be remembered, and how much time you have to turn your misogynistic, useless life around.  NONE of us gets out alive, my friend, and someday when you’re confronting your own mortality you may realize what a total waste of humanity your pathetic life has been.

Your life, Ga-Ga.  Live it wisely.  ; )

B

Iamapillarofsalt632 reads

And still calling people names like a Big man does.

you pay them to fuck you whether they are attracted to you or not. I bet your mother is quit proud. Your daughters are learning how you value women and your sons are learning it OK to pay for pussy. Why have a real relationship? You try to make yourself out as so much better than me, but in the end we both pay hookers for sex.

If you have such manners and self control why do you feel the need to call me names like "dumbass" and "pig"? I don't call you names. Kinda seems like your the bully trying to force me to your way of thinking and belittling me when I don't agree.

Actually, I'm under no illusions that I could ever "force you into my way of thinking", BJN.  I learned a long time ago that you can't use logic, reason, or even courtesy to talk someone out of a position that they didn't employ either to arrive at in the first place.  You may very well "pay hookers to fuck you", but others among us pay a lady FOR HER TIME, and what happens afterwards between consenting adults is based on MUTUAL attraction, courtesy, physicality, passionate connection, and an unselfish pleasuring of the other person.  Do I seriously have to explain this to you?

...And just to clarify: "Dumbass" and "pig" are not terms of "bullying" on my end, they're adjectives that these ladies have used to describe pubescents like you to me in private on dozens of occasions.  Oh, and my mother and my daughter are VERY proud of the son and the father that I am, especially as it pertains to the way I treat them and other women. As for my sons, they've honored me with their own military service, and treat their young wives at least as well.

BigGQinAZ

RichardBong805 reads

That those who insist on bragging on their 'service' typically didn't serve. Just an observation to the guy with all of 3 reviews calling out the guy with none.

Actually, that's been my experience too.  I wasn't "bragging on my service", sir, I was defending it on behalf of friends who never made it home, from those who would insult it.  Thank you for YOUR service, sir.

Incidentally, I have three reviews in just over two years on TER, primarily because I saw one provider for 15 months.   I've never really considered myself a "hobbyist", as I'm not looking to rack up notches on my penile gun belt.  Just looking for a great connection with a great lady, one that I can take to dinner and enjoy as a GFE as long as it's mutually pleasurable.   I've also found that the happiest providers are the ones with just a handful of regulars who do very little public advertising. All of them have told me that they far prefer gentleman to hobbyists, and most of the "pigs" (their words) who post on these boards disgust them.   Given what I've heard from these ladies, I have a truly visceral reaction to misogynists and idiots, unlike anything I've experienced since field ops.   So many of these guys remind me of dogs peeing on every fire hydrant in town and then writing a review about it. I have yet to meet a single provider who enjoys reading her own reviews, so I stopped writing them last year.

Regards,

BigGQinAZ

Iamapillarofsalt703 reads

Now they know that you only see a few select hookers.

You go you beautiful, sexy, hot gentleman, that id love to do oops, I mean meet soon. I agree 100%  and I adore your manners and shilvery. Balljoint your just redneck rude!. You could take a lesson from a real gentleman.....

Kelly XO

As of now, I am working with a church pastor and just started attending a local SAA chapter. The SAA is a good option if you believe in God and put your hopelessness on him. I am actually finding the 1:1 conversation with the pastor more fruitful at this time as he is someone who had a porn addiction when he was younger and is able to understand how the brain works on addicts.  

I will continue with the SAA meetings and hopefully will get more comfortable with the format. Knowing that there are addicts like me who have turned their life around is a positive sign. Not having to work is giving me the time and energy to focus and understand the problem and also take up activities that will help mend the soul. Just signed up for a 4 day camp to build houses for a orphanage in the Najavo reservation with the church. This will be in 2 weeks and I am already looking forward to it.

My main triggers are backpage, craigslist, and Asian providers. I actually used to prefer meeting the "unknowns" that are not very popular as that is a cause of excitement for my addicted brain - to go  after the UTR girls. The hunt for the encounter is generally more exciting then the encounter itself.I am avoiding backpage, craigslist these days as much as I can. Asians are less of an Issue as not many are around here - so staying away has been easier.

The compulsive behavior of seeing providers that are "risky" is what made a simple life pleasure become an addiction. It happened over a period of time. My first few years were strip clubs only, than take out from strippers whom I connected with. Than I moved into Asian Massage parlors. The turning point was the Bay Area asians that were stunning looking, only $200 hr and had no restriction in their menu. They really took my addiction to the next level - sometimes seeing three of them on the same day and/or spending long hours into the night with them . It kept escalating every year and I was playing Russian roulette with my career, health and everything that matters to me.  

My closing thoughts are, if you can be a "social hobbyist" (like a social drinker) - more power to you! But there is a thin line between a social drinker and a alcoholic, and once we cross the line - it becomes very very difficult to go back. I played with fire once to often and I got burnt, and if I do not stop now - it is just a matter of time before I am totally consumed in this raging fire and nothing but ashes of my addicted life will remain for my loved ones.

Good day everyone

Hey ItsHot.......sorry for the anguish and anxiety you are obviously experiencing right. BUT, beating yourself up will not help you move beyond this point. I'm guessing I'm quit a bit older than you, but share, both past and current, an addictive personality,  including here. A lot of people here share that.trust me. It is what it is. What's done is done. Remember, just as "This too shall pass" is very relevant here, so too are the experiences that have brought you to this point, made you who you are and have moved you to a more spiritual place of self awareness and helping others. Not such a bad place to be I'd say. It'll get better....much better........promise.

I wish for you all the best. Addiction is no laughing matter. Seems to me you know what you really want. I hope you find it. Best of luck.

Kelly XO

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I had no idea what sort of responses I will get when I posted about my addiction. I did expect more balljointnuts to chip in with their "see I am cool" comments, but with that exception the majority of you have been extremely supportive and I thank you all for it.

The reality check for me is one of my very good friends recently out to me as he is going through a tough time and needs financial support. To cut a long story short, he had been seeing providers for over 3 years now (he is married with two adorable kids, a 4 and 2) and recently passed on a STD to his wife who is pregnant with their third kid and got found out during routine check ups. There is also a slight risk that the kid will be born infected as the doctor does not want to prescribe strong antibiotics at this stage of her pregnancy.  

So as he is kicked out of the house and trying to find his feet again - I am now understanding how an addict works. The sad part is he seems to have no moral issue with what he has done and is pretty much seeing providers this very minute. He probably does not have a TER account as he does not live in one of the listed cities. Even if he sees this, I really don't care what he thinks of me at this time.

I first gave him some money as he lied to me about what happened and once I spoke with his wife, I knew the full story. Once I heard it, the story could have been about me (minus the family stuff) and I am not better than him as a human being. I have had STI/STD before - might have even passed it to a few girls unknowingly before the STI/STD was detected and treated by my doctor.  

So that gives you context for what happened a few months back. I am still having extremely powerful urges and have acted out a few times even after knowing what happened to a once dear friend. He was/is extremely talented and now ruined everything (he just got fired a year back from his job and now working in temp positions making less than half of what he used to make). I don't think he is making any effort to make things right and just spiraling deeper an deeper into this abyss.  Less said about his pregnant wife and kids and what they are going through.

Anyways, I am seriously considering professional help as a next step. Working with my insurance to see if it gets covered, even if not - the money I am not spending in this hobby will cover the costs many times over.  

The post below mine that discusses about a provider needing help made me write my story as it is not only providers, but some of us also might need help to get back our lives.

Thanks all for your support and kindness and have a great evening

bigguy30890 reads

If you are looking for support go to a doctor or support group.
Why keep reading the post here and making these comments?
You need help today and don't wait anymore!
Just stop using TER and that is your first real step in helping yourself get over these issues.
I wouldn't even be surprised if your friend's story was really about yourself either.
So stop and close out your account today.

 

 

 

Posted By: ItsHotOutHere
Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I had no idea what sort of responses I will get when I posted about my addiction. I did expect more balljointnuts to chip in with their "see I am cool" comments, but with that exception the majority of you have been extremely supportive and I thank you all for it.  
   
 The reality check for me is one of my very good friends recently out to me as he is going through a tough time and needs financial support. To cut a long story short, he had been seeing providers for over 3 years now (he is married with two adorable kids, a 4 and 2) and recently passed on a STD to his wife who is pregnant with their third kid and got found out during routine check ups. There is also a slight risk that the kid will be born infected as the doctor does not want to prescribe strong antibiotics at this stage of her pregnancy.  
   
 So as he is kicked out of the house and trying to find his feet again - I am now understanding how an addict works. The sad part is he seems to have no moral issue with what he has done and is pretty much seeing providers this very minute. He probably does not have a TER account as he does not live in one of the listed cities. Even if he sees this, I really don't care what he thinks of me at this time.  
   
 I first gave him some money as he lied to me about what happened and once I spoke with his wife, I knew the full story. Once I heard it, the story could have been about me (minus the family stuff) and I am not better than him as a human being. I have had STI/STD before - might have even passed it to a few girls unknowingly before the STI/STD was detected and treated by my doctor.  
   
 So that gives you context for what happened a few months back. I am still having extremely powerful urges and have acted out a few times even after knowing what happened to a once dear friend. He was/is extremely talented and now ruined everything (he just got fired a year back from his job and now working in temp positions making less than half of what he used to make). I don't think he is making any effort to make things right and just spiraling deeper an deeper into this abyss.  Less said about his pregnant wife and kids and what they are going through.  
   
 Anyways, I am seriously considering professional help as a next step. Working with my insurance to see if it gets covered, even if not - the money I am not spending in this hobby will cover the costs many times over.  
   
 The post below mine that discusses about a provider needing help made me write my story as it is not only providers, but some of us also might need help to get back our lives.  
   
 Thanks all for your support and kindness and have a great evening!  
   
   
   
 
-- Modified on 8/6/2015 5:20:32 PM

In my humble (but educated) opinion, sex addiction is a crock.  

1. The term "sex addiction" only serves to further pathologize sex, and since our ideas about sex are already pretty pathological in this country, we don't need to make things worse.

2. There is very little empirical evidence about this "addiction" and the criteria people use to "diagnose" sex addiction is based in addiction language, not sex, and fails to take into account what may be normal sexual behavior. Sex is very subjective, and what may be acceptable for one person may be shame-invoking for another and disgusting for a third, including how often you have it.

3. Addictions are often co-morbid with other mental health disorders. Your (what appear to be) poor impulse control and increasing risk-taking behaviors could signal a mood  or personality disorder and the only way to find that out is through proper assessment by a mental health professional.

My advice to you would be this: If you beleive sex is your problem, you need to leave this and other sites immediately (after all, can an alcoholic hang out at the bar every day, or can the meth addict hang out with a "cook" every day and still stay clean?) and head to a professional therapist for screening and assessment. Getting help for what truly ails you is the only way you will be able to understand the reasons behind your actions and get healthy.

I wish you much success in your life :)

K

So if this is such a tough time for you ... why are you still on here?  Just close your account and be done with it.  

But keeping your account active makes me think that it's just a drama queen looking for attention.  

Go get some professional help and then sign up for match dot com.

Good luck.

Exactly, close this account if you really want out. You don't hang out with a crack dealer if you want to quit crack

L.Guapo817 reads

And now he's taken this post word for word to the General Board looking for support.  What a pathetic, sissy-assed, attention whore.

The reason I am still here is because I am addict and acting out due to compulsive behavior. As a drunkard who wants to stop drinking paces back and forth in front of the doors of a bar. I am pacing back and forth in front of my temptation of indulging one more time. It is like telling a smoker, just don't buy cigarettes and a alcoholic to avoid bars. If he or she could do that so easily than why do we have a multi-billion industry of rehab program? Think!!!

Anyways, I am formally starting a program to get out of having meaningless sex to cover the real issues that I have to face heads on. All my accounts, contacts, etc. are being handed over to my mentor tomorrow and K9 filters are being activated in all my devices as well tomorrow. Adieu freedom and freewill...

So this is my final day of lurking and I am getting handcuffed tomorrow and the keys will be thrown in the deep end of the pacific ocean.  

Parting words, my humble request and plea to people in this forum is to at least check if you are an sex-addict or not. There are materials online for such tests and also help lines and resources as well. There is a strong correlation between porn and sex addiction so most of the tests that are applicable for porn will apply for sex as well.

I have been hobbying for close to 10 years and have been a compulsive addict the last 3-4 years. Can you hobby without being an addict, absolutely. But it might be years as in my case before you realize you have an addiction. The best proof to see if you are addicted or not is to completely stop meaningless sex/sex for money/etc. for 3 months and see how it impacts your day to day life. If it has little or no impact congratulations! If you see moderate to significant impact in you mood, work, relationships, friendships, behavior etc. it is time to get some help.

Some resources that i am using: Google the below:

your brain rebalanced
reboot nation
your brain on porn

most of them focus on porn as it is well accepted addiction, while sex addiction is still being debated. I am one person who  has come to believe any behavior that is compulsive (impacts your day to day life) can potentially be an addiction - be it good or bad.

This addiction started as a small weed 10 years back at a local strip club, and I have fed it, watered it, and see it grown as strong as a oak tree. Time for me to wield the chainsaw to cut it down and then get a bobcat to dig the roots out...

Adieu...

And hype to get the point across. Appeal to emotion, (fear,)/which can chase away your logic.

Really study. And get off of here already lol.

--  


-- Modified on 8/6/2015 8:27:21 PM

You should ask TER to delete it.

This is really a private matter that should be handled between you, your God and your method of therapy.

I mean that in all respects. Once you have finished this journey in your life and you live what you consider a productive life you aren't going to want this scattered mess on the Internet.

TER will gladly delete your recent posts if you ask them.

Best of luck to you. No life is always easy.

If you Google it, there are even many articles on this. I believe it's still controversial, but from anything I've read over time, it has been noted to affect the way the brain reacts in certain centers during porn stimulation as other drugs affect those areas through brain scans.

Though some people go to extremes to say it causes ppl to become murderers. Which to me destroys their credibility and I move on to more realistic articles.

Can I give you a piece of advice on this church stuff? Be careful that all physical issues are not ruled out and demonic forces are to blame. "The devil made me do it" theory can weaken you even more.

Also - be wise to have your brain checked. These habits at your going age, (addiction and thrill seeking,) can be a sign of something else too.

There are certain things we get into - jumping from one addiction to another - including religious hype. Am I telling you not to believe in it? No. Am I telling you to maintain your own critical thinking skills? Yes.

A lot of people are still people, clergy or not. And I'll tell you, stay close to people who believe in you. You may come across many who don't.  

But really think about how your behaviors transition from this lifestyle to the next. Be excited, but if you're starting to get too crazy, walking outside and screing prophecies, quitting your job suddenly for a "new calling", all that jazz - you may have something neurological going on, and may want to have a chat with your doctor about just in case.

This is not said in a joking manner. Many churches rule out all physical and can sometimes be a little impractical.

*disclaimer - do your own research. But something go think about. And no, I didn't go to school for this, but I am fascinated with the brain and like to read.*


-- Modified on 8/6/2015 8:20:25 PM

But you have had the experiences none of us want to die without.  You can now put that behind you.  I would not think any less if you seek professional help...  I think you should.  I don't know how you'll fare in the dating scene.  You may have a "dry spell"...  but that's what it may take to form a long term relationship.  
I am in a sexless marriage...  if I had it to do over, I'd be slower to move to the marriage stage & not accept a low sex level...  

Maybe without the distraction, your carreer will take off.

I wish you well.

Well at least you know what you want now? Words are one thing but the cliche goes that action is a million times better. I've only been addicted to one thing in my life up to now and she was a former lover but the solution to that was to just stop seeing her and just keep the mind on something else for a few months. It worked. The hobby to me i value the companion side to it and penetration is just a bonus (not very good at that anyways). I enjoy talking to the girl more as there are no strings attached and you can be more free and so far i have met wonderful people. I guess you can get addicted to anything, its subjective, relative. I certainly dont think 500 a week is addict level when you have russian billionaires filling up their yachts with girls and having orgies. You might just be burnt out. Anyways all the best.

I can imagine breaking any type of addiction is difficult, and joining a group shows how serious you area.

Register Now!