don't call him.. FWIW.. a big NO NO.

Carissa, a married guy probably isn't going to appreciate hearing from you.  Believe me, he KNOWS you're out there.  But probably something has come up, either a family or business problem.  Or maybe, just maybe, he's SHALLOW!  One hour and great sex does not make a relationship.  Forget him.  There's a lot more of US out here who will try to distract you!

Especially if you know him to be married. He would probably be pleased and flattered that you want to see him, but mortified to receive an unexpected call. What if he's with his wife when you call? Lately there have been several posts on TER boards about this issue and in every case, it was because this sort of thing had caused problems for the client.

You seem like a great gal. I'm sure you don't want to cause this guy problems. Don't call him.

Just my 2 cents.

Carissa,

You are stunning. I want to come to the East Coast just to see you!  BTAIM her is my rant.

How do men think? umm
Ok, so I am imagining I am this married guy that you have seen once so I can tell you how I would think in his position.

====
Imagining rant on!

The first time I saw you I thought it was great. You were soooo new and fresh, not like my WIFE. You do things my WIFE doesn't do. I really want to see you again because you don't look and feel like my WIFE. I stand here with you saying goodbye but I want to have this nice feeling again so I really do plan on calling you and seeing you again, but must make sure my WIFE doesn't find out. Monday nights would be a good time since that is when my WIFE goes to the soccer game with the boys/girls.


That next Monday:

I am still thinking of those things Carrisa did to me. But damn, soccer game is postponed because the coach had to get his prostate removed. My WIFE and I spend the night with the kids and watch a movie. I should call Carissa but my WIFE is in the other room! I hope she doesn't call!  I should turn off the cell phone. Oh and I must remember to delete the call history on the cell phone before my WIFE checks it.

End of imagining/rant.
=========
He'll call you when he gets horny again. If you meet a second time you can ASK him when a good time that you can call him. If he hesitates...well...

Providers don't even call single guys. The hobbyists get the wrong idea and expect a free booty call.

Men chase women. That's the natural way. Women don't overtly chase men.

Hi C;

It doesn't matter how much he enjoyed your time together, or how much you did.

What DOES matter is that he keeps his life in distinct compartments, one where he sees you (and maybe others) and one with his family. If you call him you break the barrier he has built between the two and the repercussions could be serious.

Don't do it; if you do he may post about it here & your reputation could suffer greatly; as no-one likes a lady who doesn't know the rules. Just the same as you don't like guys who ignore your rules.

Take care
N

PS I am looking forward to seeing you next week.

If yo have his email I would try that approach first.  It may be awkward for him to explain who was on the phone if you call him.  I have had a few providers call me to chat or set an appt.  I do not mind it to a degree.  

It would be in your best interest to get his permission to call him to chat or set an apopt.  I would be flattered by a provider that would call specially if we hit it off really well.

If you have a clear and explicit agreement with a guy that (1) you may call or email and (2) he has given you the number(s) or emails you can reach him at, okay.  Otherwise, no, no, no.  

I disagree with those who say you can email him.  Some of my colleagues have their assistants monitor their email.  Some wives have full access to their husbands' voice mails and emails.  You can't know who's going to get the message, and what they'd do with it, unless he's told you that you can....
Posting on a board is about the best you might do.

And, Carissa, while I probably don't need to say this, I will: there are a couple of bittersweet realities of this business: First, the flame can burn white-hot for an hour and then die out.  Second, there are loads of great men and women out there -- rest assured someone else will come along.  And, finally, if you have the opportunity to capture that flame, you're going to have to nurture and feed it carefully:  it's not going to burn long on its own.  Like any relationship, you have to work at it.

-- Modified on 9/2/2004 2:50:06 PM

NO NO NO NO.  Don't call.  You put him at risk, unless he has told you specifically "Call any time."  I have one ATF who I wouldn't mind hearing from, but always by e-mail unless we specify otherwise.

However, you ask an interesting question.  How would we feel if we got the out of the blue call "hi, Im here, Im horny, wanna see me, please don't forget me?"

You would come across in 1 of 2 ways.

1.  You need the money and consider us an ATM machine.
2.  You really like us and want to see us, and we don't need to bring any money.

If it's one, then don't bother calling.  If it's two, Woo Hoo.  I'll give you my number.  

one of my faves wanted to be my girlfriend.  As for your question, DON'T DO IT. 'Nuf said.

Of all the reasons given for the gentlemen not contacting you, take this one into consideration.

When I first started in this hobby I met this provider who I simply adored, we really connected. After the first visit I was convinced that she would be easy to fall in love with. I purposely did not see or contact her for several months until I was able to put the relationship in perspective. Once I was able to do that I was then able to see her again. Maybe he's just trying to put it in perspective.

As fas as contacting him, I'm in agreement with everyone else, particularly since he is married, wait and see what happens and enjoy your other clients.

But I'm single and would adore to hear if you'd want me back because of chemistry.  I love it when ladies call me.  I know it's you cause it says; "caller ID blocked"
(And you probably don't answer caller ID blocked numbers, but I answer those calls very very quickly.)

But a married guy?  No.  I wouldn't call.  And if a month has gone by it's a bit long of a wait as well.

Wow, I didn’t think I would get so many responses.  But I'll heed your warnings and not contact him.  I just have to clarify though; I had no desire to be his girlfriend or his "lover" despite his desire for me to be so.  I guess a big part of me was paranoid that I screwed up.  That on the day of our tentative date, that I was supposed to contact him to reconfirm.  I'm always afraid of messing up like this, not remembering something, or saying something wrong.  Because I didn’t hear from him, I thought it something I did and if that was the case I would like the chance to fix it.  But that is the paranoid irrational part of me.  On the flip side, I was also just curious as to what happened to him.  Yes we had great awesome sex and he was quite attractive to me and we seemed to have clicked in that regard.  But I'm no dummy, I'm not looking for or even hoping to find love in this.  I enjoy what I do immensely but I have both feet on the ground.  When I see a guy that I really like, of course I want to see him again. I want to have that great sex, hear about his life, and get to know him better.   But it is not necessarily because he is money for me.  While I would never blur those boundaries, it's not the money that I think of when I wish for someone I've seen to call.  For all the guys I see that I really like, where we have truly hit it off with great sex and great conversation, I do take a part of them with me.  And because of this and because I really like the person they are, I care what happens to them and I become curious when I don’t hear from them.  I hope I'm making sense here and not sounding as naïve as I feel sometimes but I'll definitely not call him.  Anyway, I guess this is just one of the repercussions of this work.  You meet the most fabulous people and have the most exquisite experiences but it is under such restricted albeit somewhat strange and false circumstances.

Carissa if you can call him discreetly by all means call him.