I'd be more worried about knocking up a self righteous girlfriend who might want to keep it than knocking up a provider who would most likely not want to keep it. After all, who the heck wants to go through with having all of their clients tested? I say not unless she's insane but that's just my opinion.
So I started to see a great gal. We of course use a condom. On the third appointment the pillow talk somehow turned to contraception. She turned to me and told me she isn't on any kind of birth control. NONE! She seems to think condoms are good enough and will be effective. I gave her a weird stare and she says,......"What?"
I said.. "Ccan't you take the pill? or get a patch or get an IUD?" She says. "I used to take the pill but just stopped because I would forget to take one everyday. What's an IUD?"
She is a nice gal, and whe have pretty good sexual chemistry, but condoms break and leak and stuff. And I don't want to get any provider pregnant. so I don't think I will be seeing her till she goes on the pill.
Whaddya think?
Go get yourself a vasectomy and you wont have to worry ever again about this issue.
AOOP
I think you maybe surprized at how many are not on the pill.
...this isn't uncommon. I myself use it, but I know plenty of providers and civilians who don't, and just think "to heck with it" if they do infact get pregnant.
Some don't because of weight gain or water retention, and it doesn't help their figure at all. Some because it causes more cramps when they get their periods, or more moodiness, and none of this flies to well with work-- so they don't use it and generally keep it to themselves.
I do know some though that are just plain lazy, or don't care and those are the ones you have to watch out for-- because it can mean (and I'm not saying always) that she is not concerned with her general health at all. I'm saying this because BC usually comes along with the package when you get a checkup, and she could not be going to checkups as often as she should, especially if she doesn't care enough about BC and has no reason behind not using it...
Though I do have to say this on the flip side... it would suck if you did get a provider preggers, I don't know many that could lay claim to some particular man as the father without many blood tests (no insult intended) even if she calendars and keeps track of meetings and schedules. And its been my experience that most that are that careless with themselves in general, dont care to contact a possible father. They either get abortions or they just, "have a baby".
But (even though this opposes what I said above) you never know who does and who doesn't, and people can lie... so why stop seeing her if she works out for you otherwise, when the next girl you see could be lying?
Dani
(sorry so long, not sorry so blunt)
there's only a thin barrier between you and eighteen years of child support, not to mention court ordered discovery of your assets to establish appropriate degree of support. Make sure to bring water based lube with you and keep that condom sipppery.
...then it gets caught in our cervix if you go to deep, and that can pinch a hold on the condom and pull it off!!! I hear about it all the time, and also this happened to a very good friend of mine that I used to bring on dates when they wanted two girls. The guy had a little too much fun, and went too deep and too hard with a whoooole lotta lube and never noticed the condom slipped off [and I had to go fish (no pun intended) the condom out cause she couldnt reach it!] and he actually came inside her and she did infact get preggers.... so you gotta be careful with the lube, use but use just enough.
Condoms are 96% or 98% with perfect use. Granted the rate is about 10% less effective with imperfect use... But 88% is still pretty good protection. If you're really uncomfortable, ask her to use a VCF (Vaginal contraceptive film, available at target) in addition to the condom. They are colorless, you can't feel them, and they alone are 96% effective used properly. So both together and you're good to go.
Condoms do not prevent pregnancy. I have a 17 year old that came about as a result of one.
What were you doing away from home that night little sister?Women who get 'preggers' do so out of choice or they are incredibly stupid. Accidents don't happen, sex does. If a woman doesn't want to get pregnant she will abstain or take the precautions. Using a condom only means that you accept that broke condom or not, you are willing to get pregnant. No amount of psychobabble changes that.
The woman obviously is not knowledgeable, or disciplined, about sexual health. If you sincerely care about her, or yourself, find a place where she can go and get some serious counseling about how to take care of herself, or buy her a book and make sure she reads and understands it.
She is like a bus driver who doesn't know how to drive -- she's going to hurt herself and lots of others if she doesn't get some good information and start to use it properly.
It takes a village to make a child. Well, maybe not, but why concern yourself. YOU sir are not this person's only; not her first choice for a daddy either. So, get over it and make sure you buy a quality condom and use lube to minimize the likelihood of breakage. If she is so dense and ill-informed at her age, then either move on to a more mature and responsible provider. Besides, it not much a woman under 25 is going to show you unless you been under a rock. Thank God, I enjoy "curves" and the senuality of women who know how to help me in my happy moments. If you guys would not get emotionally attached to these 20 somethings, the hobby would be a lot better place.
I'd be more worried about knocking up a self righteous girlfriend who might want to keep it than knocking up a provider who would most likely not want to keep it. After all, who the heck wants to go through with having all of their clients tested? I say not unless she's insane but that's just my opinion.
... send me your link.
Oh I did. I tried to tell her about a place. I even tried to take her down to a Planned Parenthood clinic. She just refused to go. A month or so ago she was "late" and I got her an EPT kit. she sweated it out, promising to go the PP Clinic if it came up negative. It did, but she still didn't go. God in the foxhole syndrome I think.
I asked her if she had heard about the morning after pill and she said..."uh?"
So I think I have done my due diligence and want to know if it is a good idea at this time to stop seeing her. I don't want to be a passenger on her bus!
... take your friend to PlannedParenthood.
She needs an education and needs it quickly.
You might invest in at least a sponge contraceptive for her and help her use it when you two play together. Doubling up (condom & sponge) is rather effective.
Meanwhile, you might consider doing things with her that do not involve intercourse until she gets things in line.
Condoms as birth control with GFs and SOs is one thing, it is a whole different story with a provider.
Play safely and good luck.
I think you are being harsh. It's like, yeah, so? A lot of women don't take pills because it makes them sick or for whatever reason. If a condom breaks there is the morning after pill. If she gets knocked up and has her head on straight she'll get an abortion.
Life is a risk, dude. Just like BBBJ. A lot of men demand it even though there is some risk. Are you one of those who do? Just curious.
and it makes me mad when people assume things about other people's personal choices too. Not every woman can go on the pill. I am one of these ladies! I had too many complications while on them, and my doctor made me stop. I looked at the other alternatives, and I am currently on one of them. I also use the morning after pill, just in case of a dire emergency (rubber breakage). You may want to ask her why she is not on the pill, please do not dictate to her. Remember, it's her body and she may have her reasons for not following your way of thinking, and it doesn't mean her way is wrong either. Also, it does not mean that she wants your baby either. So not to deflate any ego's over there, but that is just how it is..
There are other options, such as the patch or getting the shot so she doesn't have to worry about taking a pill every day.
Some women, however, cannot take the pill for health reasons. She doesn't not sound like such a woman, but rather someone who needs to be educated about sexual practices.
I love your alias.
I agree completely with what Turkana says, the lady in question needs to educate herself on contraception.
Personally, I don't think it's safe enough in terms of pregnancy prevention to rely on condoms alone.
Really she is portrayed as ill prepared and quite uneducated on taking care of herself. On the flip side maybe perhaps she was pretending to be naive because she felt like it was none of your business or it was personal.
Plenty of women don't take the pill. What about IUDs you say? Well they ended up causing more problems than solutions and are no longer widely available, if you can find them at all.
I personally am one of those women who doesn't take the pill. With such a crazy shedule trying to remember to take the damn thing at the same time everyday is just ludicrist. That is the ONLY way it is effective as it's percentages claim. Not to mention the way it makes you feel, talk about killing a sex drive, BLAH!!!
Now the shot is just not effective for everyone, trust me I have proof of my own on that note. I have yet to try the patch though heard the side effects are not so hot and with a history of side effects I am not knocking down doors to get some.
I still get my check ups on a regular basis and I know the day after pill is available if I ever run into any extreme emergencies, such as condom breakage or someone not paying attention and letting it slip. I would be more worried about STDs in that case than a pregnancy anyways. Can you tell I am a pro-choicer?
I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers, but maybe before everyone jumps on the band wagon. They should take into consideration the other side of the table. Like I said she may have been pretending to be naive and zoning him out... After all she is susposed to be a PRO.
PS FYI a nice dose of antibiotics and such can be provided for anyone who has been accidentally exposed. Call your county health office or Planned Parenthood.
You guys/ladies need to be worried not just about Pregnancies but STDs as well...
Stay safe, Play hard, Judge Less
you would be surprised whow many women in the biz only use condoms.
Don't ask, don't tell
Why ruin the fun?