and I don't mean to suggest you're being paranoid but are you sure? I'm afraid that sometimes when one is doing something they shouldn't, they project that behavior onto others. I'm sure the psychologists have some exotic name for it but before you drive yourself (and her) nuts, you might want to find a safe and non-threatening way to make sure you are right. If you are, and you want to save this relationship, a very experienced and very good marriage counselor sounds like a good idea.
Hello everyone,
I'll use an alias as I am rather paranoid about some legal things, spyware found on my system, wife looking at divorce websites, etc., etc.
Now onto the point. I've been doing this thing of ours for many years, on and off when I didn't have a date or if I just felt like something different prior to getting married (I got married late in life) just for the thrill of many different beautiful women. Then I stopped for 7 years after we got married. There was no sex for a few of those years and I got tired of taking matters into my own hands and needed a woman touching me. My wife actually was telling me to go elsewhere, she was tired of me asking for it and I was tired of getting shot down.
So, since I am a traveller and I stumbled across Eros while being bored in my hotel room, I decided to try out a beautiful looking Hawaiian/Phillipino lady. We connected and it was a really nice time, she had me relaxed in no time as I was nervous and feeling just a bit bad about the infidelity even though wife told me to do it. This young lady asked me to post a review. I was like,,,, What are you talking about? A review for an escort? Then she told me about TER, which was basicly just an LA area site at the time, so I checked it out and wrote the review. From there I was in 7th heaven!!! All these GORGEOUS women that I can spend some time with!!! WOW!
I went from city to city doing my thing, I'd get home and get turned down, reaffirm her statement that it was OK for me to see other ladies. Although I never told her, I just don't think that would've helped anything. I truly believe she never saw anyone the whole time.
Just a few months ago, I found some very interesting things. Signs of a cheater. How do I know? If you want to get away with this discreetly you have to know things to do and not to do. And she was doing things that made me look harder. At first it put a smile on my face. Then I was PISSED OFF!!! She won't give it to me but she'll fuck someone else???
I confronted her, she denied it, I provided proof. She still denied it. I hate liars! I think she stopped for awhile. I was jealous even though she gave me the OK to see other ladies, and I thought I would be OK if she saw other men. The discretion HAD to be there though. I was very discreet, always following my 100 mile rule, careful about email, careful about cell phone calls and call backs.
I've found some more information now. I really think she is escorting. Even though it stings, the thought of her seeing many men. I want to reach out and teach her how to be careful, but I don't want her to know that I know.
Thanks for listening (reading) I just needed to get it out. Noone I can tell about this as I keep my hobby to my self.
If you are really concerned and think you have little to lose then be open with her.
You know that truth thing.
Now remember keep judgement or blame out of it. Be generous with your words. You might be astonsihed with the results. The more you can let the results go and be open to what might happen, the more that will.
You might crash and burn too, so what is it you are losing? Property? Sexless marriage? Career? Those are replaceable, your time and happiness isn't.
If you are satisfied with things the way they are then don't change them, accept them for what they are, nothing, everything.
Hell offer to pay her for her services and see how she rates?
You have only nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I can't help but feel that perhaps you're being a little hypocritical......it's ok other women are escorts....but not your wife. If I'm wrong please forgive me. Communicating to your spouse may be hard, but necessary. Best wishes for the both of you.
don't think he mind his wife being an escort but he wants her to be open with him about it so he can teach her to be safe. Also think he feels rejected when his wife would give it out to other men but not to her own husband. *shrug* it's a sad world people...
Good luck bro. This could drive you nuts.
Can i have your wife's contact info? Is she GFE?
both have a lack of trust in the each other. Most friendships let alone marriages need trust to survive.
...what evidence leads you to believe she is an escort? Is she listed? Have you tried booking an appointment with her (imagine her surpirse!)? IMHO this sounds like the end of the road. There are no children (at least mentioned) that provide a reason to keep on trying, nor IMHO, a reason for her to not be in the mood. I would think that most of us keep the hobby to ourselves as there is much too much to risk by even confiding in a good friend. I would bid my wife adieu and move on.
Ok what am I am missing, he's hobbying, she OK with it, he thinks she's a provider but won't talk to her about it, because he doesn't want her to know he's hobbying. But he should leave her? I am totally confused.
and I don't mean to suggest you're being paranoid but are you sure? I'm afraid that sometimes when one is doing something they shouldn't, they project that behavior onto others. I'm sure the psychologists have some exotic name for it but before you drive yourself (and her) nuts, you might want to find a safe and non-threatening way to make sure you are right. If you are, and you want to save this relationship, a very experienced and very good marriage counselor sounds like a good idea.
Thanks for the advice and well wishes I just want to touch on a few points.
1. Be open with her. ...
A thought, but I wouldn't get anywhere since she's a compulsive liar.
2.I can't help but feel that perhaps you're being a little hypocritical.....
No, I'm a little jealous because she's getting paid and I have to pay for companionship. IM.Lurker nailed it.
3.NetMichelle, thanks for the well wishes, I won't get any nuttier than I already am. :-o
4. Most friendships let alone marriages need trust to survive.....
100 % correct Stumpy
5....what evidence leads you to believe she is an escort?.....
I've been involved in this hobby for many years. I've had serious relationships with a few escorts and I know the signs that one is prepping for a "date". I also have email and phone records.
6. To those of you that want her contact info. .....
Yeah right.
I'll post follow ups as the story unfolds. Thanks for listening.
How can you be sure your wife is an escort? Any evidence like a pocketbook full of lube and condoms, incoming calls on phone, new bank account or stack of envelopes in draw, etc. It's probably harder for her to hide the fact that she is an escort then it is for you to hide the fact that you see them.
Your post isn't too convincing, you need to offer up more evidence as to why you think she's a provider.
Why don't you want her to know that you know? It obviously bothers you so you need to confront her with it. This sounds like a marriage that would be far better off as a divorce.