that everyone's time is valuable.
YKSY.
and when I asked (shocked) WHY they did that, THESE particular ladies said something at the last minute 'spooked' them:
1) something he said, wrote, did last minute
2) something she saw, or sensed, when she arrived at the meeting place
3) some piece of info she got when she was leaving that made her think the better of it.
While I have not 'no showed', I have once completely cancelled an appt (24 hrs advance, however) and did NOT return any of his calls or emails because of a GUT feeling about it all that I can't disclose. If THAT guy WAS a good guy, and all my gut feelings were wrong, then I lost a good guy. But, I'll never know.
And that's just it..you don't know. However, too many no=shows-you-don't-knows equals up to fault on her side..and guys need to know about that.
Therefore, think it through all the way and if you post anything, or PM anything, then all you can say is that YOU don't know WHY she no-showed - some have their reasons, and none was disclosed to you, and wish HIM better luck.
Sorry. Wish I could help.
I agree with the position that you and Nicole took of not outing providers. There are many reasons why providers and clients no-show. I have never no-showed as a client but have been very late to a few appointments due to factors that I could not control.
I have had one good provider no-show. Because our time before the no-show was so good, I scheduled her after the no-show and we had no problems at all.
The best way for a hobbyist to handle the posibility of a no-show is for the person to have researched, but not obligated or wasted their time, a list of alternative providers in the event that the primary choice does not show after a reasonable amount of time.
It's just too difficult to determine. Bad habits, poor customer service, and poorly run business will be evident over time - there's no point in adding to the difficulties when much is unknown.
Better to be proactive.
Thanks, Still.
I always call to even tell her I'm late (with reason). As long as she tells me in advance and tries to redo a time...that shows good faith. I have always known that "shit happens" and if told upfront that it did happen...I have no problem with it.
The ONLY time someone should be outed is after a session and where the case is poor customer service, bad attitude, upselling, or some other anomaly. And if there were a place where you could out hobbyists for boorish behaviors or worse, then I think that would be fair too. Missing an appointment for a good reason should always be excusable when either party makes an earnest attempt to contact the other person and re-schedules or is honest enough to say I didn't have a good feeling about the situation. I went to a providers apartment once where there what appeared to be a stakeout in place (black & whites out front and plain clothes in an unmarked car) and I got very nervous. When I called and told her, she blew her lid and gave me the blues. Needless to say, I was not welcomed anymore, but sometimes you have to go on your instincts
In this puritanical environment? Outing is about the meanest thing somebody can do. Reserve it for felons.
/Zin
I thought it was talking about "outing" to the community at large!
That was the only way I had previously thought of outing.
/Zin
Sure, emergencies come up, cell phones go dead--and then the client or lady ends up waiting in vain for their appointment. If you're in this hobby for any length of time, it's probably going to happen to you at least once.
IMO, what's extremely frustrating is when the no-show NEVER calls back to apologize or attempt rescheduling. That's what I call a "true no-show"--it's blatant rude behavior--no excuse for that.
Really, how much effort can it take, once the emergency subsides or the cell phone works again, to call the person back? Is the no-show in a coma at the hospital? Got lost in the desert with no phone access? Abducted by aliens?
As far as the last minute "bad gut feeling": certainly, if something spooks a lady, she absolutely should not see the man--safety is paramount, of course. Still, why not notify the guy AHEAD of time with some excuse (even if feeble)? Even 30 minutes notice will let a person turn around in the car and go home.
I think it's fine to out a provider on a board when she is a true no-show and has made no attempt to rectify matters. It's helpful to show a trend and may let potential hobbyists arrange Plan B ahead of time if they are thinking of booking her.
If the provider wishes, she can always come on the board to explain herself ("Umm, my 3 day amnesia just cleared up.")
However, I don't think we should out a hobbyist on any board, though, since it violates the TER main directive (hobbyist privacy). However, men should know that many ladies "back-channel" and pass around email addresses of men who act rude or inappropriate.
My 0.02. 
Is it considered a no show if a provider is two hours late and then calls saying she will be there in 20 minutes?
then 45 minutes later she still hasn't arrived?
TET
Don't out me....just say you are my girlfriend and we were gonna surprise her at Christmas with the news. If I die just say you are too torn up to go to the funeral. If you want you can rush to the hospital or funeral home and go through my pockets to get your donation. It'll be in an envelope. But you're gonna have to beat my brother and sisters to it...first thing they're gonna do is go through my pockets.
Posting cancellations that happen the day before is just not cool in my book. If you've spoken to the lady, it's really not a no show, it's private business between you and her. Posting only sounds like sour grapes.
Only post if you've used your true name and you haven't played any games or said/written anyting suggestive that would have caused the lady to back off the date thinking there is something amiss with you.
I'd never post a no show of a date. One time shame on him, Two times shame on me. He won't get a chance at the third, whether he's made an excuse for cancelling a date (short notice, or none of course) or not.
xoxo
Elise
Recently I went out of town to a large city I was new to and pre-scheduled with a well known, well reviewed local provider. She was a no show and did not reurn my calls that night. I was miffed but I did not consider her actions worthy of a "No Show Post", stuff happens right?.....
But the next day she returned my call, she apologized for the no show and then we rescheduled for that night. Guess what? She was a no show AGAIN. This time she never returned my calls. One week later she returned my email with a meek apology.
I thought a double no show (plus her attitude) was strange so I posted it on her local TER board. Well you can well imagine that I ripped a new one by a couple of her local favorites. I tried to explain the facts in what I thought was a rational manner, but I was called names and eventually the local moderator removed the thread. I sent the moderator a PM asking for help in understanding the situation but after one generic response he ignored me. He was new though.
I do not fault providers for cancelling when their "gut" tells them so.
My guess is that when they are convinced that their no show is justified, they some how also feel justified in not cancelleing as well.
All I can suggest to providers is that in some percentage of the cases you are going to dissapoint or piss off what could have been a truly valued customer. Therefore why not ALWAYS cancel instead of no show. Make up ANY excuse, even if it's feeble we'll have a lot more respect for you than what a no show provides. And if we truly deserved a "no show lesson", what's the harm in cancelling instead? In doing so, you've maximized your future business opportunities and good will by avoiding a potentially nasty review.
Best Regards
I put the bar at outing a provider VERY high. In this case she apologized twice. I don't know what you consider "meek" or "an attitude". I would have to know more. Based on what you have said, while it's truly a bummer, I don't think it warrants outing her. My opinion.
-- Modified on 8/22/2004 9:01:35 PM
There are a number of escorts who regularly stand up clients. If no one ever mentions it, they will just keep getting away with it.
How is exposing a lady who doesn't show any different from giving someone a bad review. If an escort only gives good service every other time, we should know about it.
If she only shows up every other time, we should know about that too. Too many providers seem to have 5-6 emergency excuses every month, and most are going unreported..
