Absolutely, Poon, what you are saying makes 100% sense, and is completely right. And, bottom line for both ladies and gentlemen when it comes to your own self esteem and confidence and HAPPINESS is doing whatever makes you happy, and comfortable. And I think most would support that ALSO, but also saying that it isn't necessary from our standpoint.
Poon, your post was worded very, very well and gave a great understanding for what you were saying. Sometimes, I think we ladies feel that guys who are balding are CERTAINLY way better off than WOMEN who are balding, and lucky that IF there is hair loss that at LEAST you are MEN - afterall, imagine if it were women! BUT, you put it in the perspective of BREASTS, and therefore, the comparison is different, but same.
I had HUGE breasts as a teenager, and so many people, in seeing me NOW as a C- (and I tell them how big I was when a young thing), say 'what happened'? Well, breasts are mostly fat - filled up with milk ducts, etc. in preparation for nursing babies. My breasts were so huge, I got headaches; couldn't see my feet, and never slept on my stomach until I was in my twenties. They are still a decent size and fullness, (and natural), but contour changes as does everything else in life - men or women.
Most people do whatever cosmetic surgery they do to have things as they 'were', not so much to be something 'else' or somebody else, but to preserve what was lost, and the image they have of themselves.
I thought it was a huge revelation to me when I realized that there are THREE perspectives of truth:
1) How you see it
2) How you (think) others see it
3) How others (really do) see it
And based upon that, where does that leave you? Those who 'love' you and accept you, do so anyway and unconditionally, so make yourself happy - whatever you choose.
O.K. I know some of you guys must know a little about hair transplants. Time for me to put some hair back on my noggin', tired of burning it in the summer. Was wondering which companies do you guys have experience with. Are they any good? Best prices? Thanks from the top of my head!
Don't do it! EVERYBODY CAN TELL- and EVERYBODY will think less of you for being so vain.
I'm sorry if no-one else will tell you- bit this is the unvarnished truth.
A bald guy is way cooler than a big sign that says I am a insecure loser with a lot of cash!
Sully
totALLY LUCKY TO STILL HAVE MY HAir- ON A COUNTDOWN my maternal g-pa was totally bald- but a winner of three iron crosses and a secure bad ass
I have to agree with Scully. I've tried it all (Hair Club, Propecia, Rogain, and I wasn't a candidate for a hair transplant beacause I didn't have enough hair).
Years later here's what I think. Just cut you're hair short so it looks neat. Don't even try to hide it with a comb over. We're lucky that at this time a shaved head is almost considered hip.
But the bottom line is nobody else cares about your hair loss except you, to everyone else you look fine with or without hair. Just go with, don't let it bother you and it won't bother anyone else.
-- Modified on 8/19/2004 7:24:59 PM
I've got to agree. Pattern baldness runs in my family, although my father, 21 years older than me, STILL has more hair on his head than me (sigh), but at least mines not going white, or at least not all white, yet.
I gave up trying to hide the growing bald spot and lack of bangs 10 years ago, bought a set of clippers and just buzzed it all down to the scalp. Now I cut it back down to stubble about once a month, let it grow and repeat. Granted, I'm in the military, where that's not considered weird, but the funny things is I get many more compliments from the ladies now that I've buzzed it than I ever did while I was still trying the old DQ Swirl hairdo.
Don't hide it - just own up to it and keep on truckin'!!
Believe it or not, women don't care and you can always wear a hat on the hot sunny days. While some hair transplants look almost good, you can usually tell and it takes ages to get there. Minimully, you will go through 6 months to a year with visible implanted tufts of hair...yuck.
Bald is better, and ladies don't find it unnattractive or unsexy at all - in fact, they would MUCH prefer it rather than some bald 'patterns' and CERTAINLY prefer it to cheap looking 'rugs', or COMB-OVERS! No, no!
And letting it grow longer in the areas where there IS hair just ACCENTUATES it - so take it off, take it ALL off, baby!
And, if you're already bald, leave it.
But, that's just my opinion, and I happen to agree with Some Nerd (again!).
With all due respect, the attractiveness of a man with hair loss is not found to be attractive by all women. My SO always tells me I look fine (fine, not good), however, when she is talking to her friends about some babe they saw while out shopping or some other meaningful activity, she is quick to make negative comments like "Yea he is hot, but he is losing his hair" or "he would be hotter if he had more hair."
I even caught one of my SO's best friends saying "he is so sweet (talking about me)but doesn't it bother you that he is losing his hair." Bitch.
I hear women in the office all the time talking about some hotties, "and look at how much hair he has." I have never heard anyone say Brad Pitt is hot but I just wish he had male pattern baldness. It doesn't happen.
The biggest negative that is created by hair loss is not necessarily the physical appearance, but the mental side of it. Yes, a man may be as attractive with less hair, but many times he is self concious about how he looks, translating into lower self confidence and lower self esteem. Two traits that are not usually synonymous with attractiveness.
The best way to relate the this to women is though the following
analogy:
Say a woman grows up with large breasts, a D cup. They are part of what makes her attractive and she like her looks.
Now let's say she is 25 and she drops down to a C cup. She is still happy with her looks but not quite as comfortable with herself as she was.
Now she is 30 and she has dropped down to a B cup.
And then she drops down to a A cup.
Think of the mental impact on her, and that is the same impact on most men as a result of hair loss. This fictitious woman is still attractive, but by most standards based on physical beauty, not as attractive. After this, she will have undoubtably lost most of her self esteem.
Her SO will still say, I think you are still attractive with no tits. The solution, get a boob job. The solution for men, get hair transplants.
I have been considering this very strongly. As a matter of fact, this morning before I read this thread, I was going to call one of the LA based hair transplant specialists.
What do I hope to accomplish, maybe a nicer looking person looking at me from the mirror, maybe to gain more self confidence, maybe I will just continue to procractinate figuring I will eventually get over it.
You hit the nail on the head. It comes down to the self-confidence factor. Different folks read it differently.
I feel so much better AFTER I just gave in to the fact I was losing my hair. Instead of trying to hide it or spend thousands covering it up with a rug or implants, I just shaved it off and was done with it. I have accepted it and my confidence is just as good as it ever was.
Some people think that those who get implants/transplants/rugs are showing their LACK of self confidence.
It all depends on viewpoints.
Seriously! This is bulls$%t. Indeed there are women (most of them happen to be under 25 with mentalities thathover around that of a 15 year old) who are put off by balding men. But then when a man (even a very young one) shaves off all his hair or keeps it to a length of a 2 day old beard, they find it sexy. I am not kidding. Try it first. It is cheaper than other 'remedies' and I swear it works. You know those 'hair club for men' ads...when the guy shows you his before and after picture? The women I tend to be with (and they are often beautiful) will comment that the guy still looks like a turd with or without the hair. It is confidence and a decent shaped head that you need. Save the money for the hobby. Oh yes, and find an SO who loves you and your bald head. Once the hair is gone, you have exposed a whole new sexual organ akin to the orgasmitron (ref: Sleeper).
Absolutely, Poon, what you are saying makes 100% sense, and is completely right. And, bottom line for both ladies and gentlemen when it comes to your own self esteem and confidence and HAPPINESS is doing whatever makes you happy, and comfortable. And I think most would support that ALSO, but also saying that it isn't necessary from our standpoint.
Poon, your post was worded very, very well and gave a great understanding for what you were saying. Sometimes, I think we ladies feel that guys who are balding are CERTAINLY way better off than WOMEN who are balding, and lucky that IF there is hair loss that at LEAST you are MEN - afterall, imagine if it were women! BUT, you put it in the perspective of BREASTS, and therefore, the comparison is different, but same.
I had HUGE breasts as a teenager, and so many people, in seeing me NOW as a C- (and I tell them how big I was when a young thing), say 'what happened'? Well, breasts are mostly fat - filled up with milk ducts, etc. in preparation for nursing babies. My breasts were so huge, I got headaches; couldn't see my feet, and never slept on my stomach until I was in my twenties. They are still a decent size and fullness, (and natural), but contour changes as does everything else in life - men or women.
Most people do whatever cosmetic surgery they do to have things as they 'were', not so much to be something 'else' or somebody else, but to preserve what was lost, and the image they have of themselves.
I thought it was a huge revelation to me when I realized that there are THREE perspectives of truth:
1) How you see it
2) How you (think) others see it
3) How others (really do) see it
And based upon that, where does that leave you? Those who 'love' you and accept you, do so anyway and unconditionally, so make yourself happy - whatever you choose.
Thank you for your insight. You always speak words of wisdom and I appreciate the input.
it's better to accept what you've been dealt than do silly-looking things like combing hair unnaturally and such stunts.
I can't speak on hair transplants, but several friends used hairpieces for awhile, but after several years they simply got rid of them and lived with their natural (though minimal) hair.
Like I said, I can't speak from experience as I inherited a full head of thick hair. But it always seems to me a self-assured and genuinely friendly guy without hair, is better off than an insecure guy with all those hopeless attempts at hiding baldness.
So, get a barber to advise you what looks best, do it and smile!
My friend did that and he score with alot chicks that way. Someone told me that superglue and hair from your ass works well. Who cares.Save your money sun block works
I'm a CPA and do accounting for quite a few of the transplant people in the Los Angeles area. All of them have been trying to talk me into it for years and I always turned them down. My SO said why not so I agreed to go through with it. It was really a quick, easy and painless procedure. I haven't had any problems with pain or swelling although it has only been one day. I'm not a VIP at tis time so if you have any questions feel free to email me at [email protected]
Bosley, they did an awesome job and th hair is yours, always grows.
I have had two done. They have produced a full head of hair. And no one can tell that it was a transplant. Micrograft technique .
The last one was done by a guy in La Jolla, Dr Reed. Great job. The first one was for about 1200 grafts and it gave me a fair amount of hair. A couple of years later ( two years ago) I had the second one to thicken my hair. I love it,
You know, I know many people who want to go the natural route and and thats fine...my only issue is that many of these same people , who make their own conscious choice to be natural, sit there and ridicule those of us who get hairpieces or transplants...most of these folks, and Im sure some who have posted here, know that they would look better with a transplant or piece but would never justify spending the money for it because they are cheap...Im sure there are some though who simply want to be natural as a choice.
I can tell you from my own experience that for 20 years I have worn a very natural/expensive hair replacement(I would have transplated, but I simply didnt have enough hair to do it where it would be worthwhile.There is no question that i look significnatly better and much younger with it as Im told many times by many people....so those of you who want to ridicule those of us who choose to look better rather than being natural...I say good for your choice, and kiss my ass for judging others who have a different view !
...I don't know if spending $10,000 or so (I really don't know which is why I asked!) versus using the money to travel, eat at nice restaurants, invest, even hobby(!?) can be considered being 'cheap' but perhaps having a different perspective. No one is judging and this baldie doesn't want to kiss your ass! There are those of us who are bald who have found that looking 'younger' and having hair are not all that important to most woman and the few women who find it important probably are not worth your time as I said before.
If you think that being bald is somehow bad for the workplace, clients, whatever, I would truly doubt it. But judging from your reaction, it seems to be some deeper issue at work. By the way, why the alias?