Waiting to find the next best fuck or looking for the gorgeous woman that has eluded you all your life. That's the dilemma of the hobbyist. The key to the hobby is the same as life, do all things within your means. Scraping and cheating time is easy if that all you have is time and money mate. Guilt comes from those too consumed by the hobby and they have to cheat everyone else in order to feed the demon. If you are feeling guilt it stands to reason that you cannot live with the consequences of getting caught. If you cannot, you owe to all concerned to walk away and to never come back.
I am just curious, do you guys ever feel guilty about hobbying? This question is mostly aimed at those who are married or have a girlfriend or engaged. Also, how did you get started with hobbying? Do you feel like you are leading a double life? Do you ever consider the consequences of your significant other finding out? If you were busted, would you have a lot to lose and would you do it again? Just curious. I ask because of the thread below about how to secretly take a stash of cash out to participate in this activity.
In fact it got me thinking how even having to go through all that really is leading a secret and double life and made me wonder if anyone feels guilt. I'm single so I don't feel too bad plus I have some cash to spare so I don't feel guilty in that regard either.
guilty I don't have more disposable income to spend.
about the amount of time I put into it. It can get quite time consuming, reading reviews, maintaining a list, making appointments, banking,scheduling, driving, waiting, session, driving, purchasing gifts...and of course reading and responding and posting on this damn board!
You have asked many questions, not just about feeling guilty. I will respond to the question of feeling guilty, and limit that to concerns over money.
Taking part in the hobby does not pose a sufficient economic burden to threaten my family's welfare in any way. That is critical, so I do not feel guilty about that.
The hobby is very self-indulgent, and I do feel that money spent on the hobby could go to charity if I do not need it for my family's concerns. I wonder if others have felt that they are just being self-indulgent by doing this.
-- Modified on 7/26/2004 1:39:41 PM
"The hobby is very self-indulgent, and I do feel that money spent on the hobby could go to charity if I do not need it for my family's concerns. I wonder if others have felt that they are just being self-indulgent by doing this."
I do not have any guilt about spending on the hobby, I will explain why. I give regularly to charity and increase the gift amount several times per year. My state offered a unique self tax option for last year's taxes. It allowed any tax payer who wanted to retroactively increase their year 2003 state taxes by something like 0.5-1.5%, I don't remember the exact amount. The money was earmarked for K-12 schools. I chose to increase my taxes without thinking about the amount that I would pay. So, when I hobby, I do so without thinking about anything else but the lady, because I have done my part and am satisfied with the extent to which I have done so.
Waiting to find the next best fuck or looking for the gorgeous woman that has eluded you all your life. That's the dilemma of the hobbyist. The key to the hobby is the same as life, do all things within your means. Scraping and cheating time is easy if that all you have is time and money mate. Guilt comes from those too consumed by the hobby and they have to cheat everyone else in order to feed the demon. If you are feeling guilt it stands to reason that you cannot live with the consequences of getting caught. If you cannot, you owe to all concerned to walk away and to never come back.
I once read a quote somewhere along the lines of:
The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment
I guess it all depends on how you look at this hobby. I'm sure there are those who would say that being able to have this actually help saved their marriages.
is the convenient escape of those you don't want to hunt any longer. I am sure that hobby contributes to mankind in numerous ways and I suspect that having this option can be a good thing Let's face it, many women are not hard wired for sex. Even in the best of circumstances it is difficult to understand whysome women crave sex like running water and others can hide in the ideal of marriage and raising kids. I yours or any marriage was 'saved' by the hobby, God love you mate and hope you have less guilt in the future.
Every study of marriage happiness I've ever seen indicated that husbands were consistently less satisfied with their sex lives in marriage than any other part of their marriage. Many marriages are actually very strong except for this one area. If seeing a provider once a month, quarter, week, or year takes care of that issue and saves a marriage is that something to feel guilty over?
In most European countries and others around the world this concept has been fairly well recognized. In many ways we've actually become even more puritanized in the US than we were 300 or 200 years ago.
A little common-sense is a good thing.
Note: Despite studies that show sex to be the number one problem, financial issues are listed as the #1 cause of divorce with adultery second. However, 80% of divorces over financial issues also include adultery.
Now, if given a choice between only 2 options; their husband having an affair or their husband seeing a provider, which would most wives choose?
Come on! Look boy's. It's all about getting LAID. Get a F%$k'n clue!
It is the only time I have nowadays where it is all about me.