Deflate-gate.  Official Ball Pressure Tester.

Are you concerned about the pressure of your balls?  Are you worried about the physical and mental repercussions of playing the game without the proper pressure in your equipment?  Do you need a tune-up?

As an official ball pressure tester, I am highly qualified to examine your equipment.  I can adjust the pressure according to your needs and desires, and ensure that you are in tip-top shape for the big game.

Feeling fatigued and mentally desolate?  Fear not, athlete, I can fix that.  I will slowly and sensually pump up your equipment until you feel as if you will burst with anticipation of the ‘BIG GAME’.  Then I will delicately release the pressure, ensuring all your equipment is up to standards.  You will then feel as if you are a brand new athlete – no more fatigue or depression!  And no 4-game suspensions for my top QB’s!!!

Feeling anxious and mentally overwhelmed?  Fear not, athlete, I can fix that.  First, I will slowly and sensually release the pressure of your equipment to eliminate the anxiety.  Then I will skillfully pump up your equipment until everything is back to normal and up to NFL standards.  Believe me, it will feel as if you are 20 years younger the next time you play the game!

Current and reputable references required.  Incall and outcall available.  You can find more info on my site:  www.mollydaniels.bi