Very few people in the world know you as well as your wife. It's not that difficult for her to pick up any unusual activities. It's also not that easy to leave absolutely no evidence at all. Let's say each visit has 1% chance of getting caught and you do it once a month. In one year, your chance of getting caught is probably around 10%. Let's say you continue in this hobby then your chance of getting caught will be close to certainty in 10 years. I know my math may be off, but the theory is sound. Once you decide to enter this hobby, you should have all your affairs in order and be prepared to pay the price. In my case, I worked on my wife for the last 10 years so I estimate the chance of her forgiving me will be higher than 70%. If I am wrong then I'll be a homeless bum. IMHO, one should be scared so one will be vigilant. Just my 2c.