I never use explicit language on the phone, only elusive words that could mean anything such as "full service", "all inclusive" and "no Greek".
I had been doing incalls at a hotel all day and had gone home for the night. A gentleman called me for info on my services. He asked for pictures. I told him that I have no pictures available but I would give him a very ACCURATE description of myself. This is the description I gave him: early 20's, white, 5'3", slim, long blond/brown hair, hazel eyes, natural perky breasts, no stretch marks, and a pretty face. The gentleman then asked if I would be available at 1:00 AM for him to come and see me. I told him that I had already checked out of the hotel but I would get another room if he was VERY serious about the appt and would be there FOR SURE.He said he would call me back in ten minutes.
He did call back and he said he has never done this before and would DEFINATELY be there if I got the room and that this is a for sure thing. I gave him my description again. I did not lie to him in any way. I rated myself as an 8, which is very accurate. I then went and paid for another room.
When the gentleman arrived, I had got there only minutes before and was still in my jeans and tee--- but I was going to change. Even in my street clothes I am still sexy; my hair and makeup were done. I let him in and introduced myself as "ANNA-LISA". He looked at me strangely, like he was slightly disgusted. He looked around the room the same way. "Am I OK??" I asked him, to which he replied "I don't know". He just stood there with that weird look on his face. I then said "You are under no obligation to stay. You can go if you want". "OK then" he replied, "I think I'll just go". With that, he was out. I called after him "Have a nice night" and got no reply. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.
I don't know if it was me, or he didn't like the room, or if he was upset that I was in jeans, or if he just chickened out (it would've been his first time), or if it was something else entirely. Whatever his reasons were, he didn't have to be so rude. The description I gave him was VERY accurate and I am very attractive, if I wasn't what he wanted he could've politely said that. If it was something else, he could've quickly explained. Most of all though, he could've -- and should've -- reimbursed me for the $65 I spent on the room.
Not only had I made a special trip late at night just for him, but now I was out $65 and he was incredibly rude about the whole thing.
Guys; before this happens to anyone else, there are some things you should do to avoid it. Make sure the girl is giveing you an UP-TO-DATE and ACCURATE picture or description. If this is your first time, make sure it is something you REALLY want to do before making an appointment with a provider. Make sure you have discussed price and service beforehand.
If you get there and she is not your type or the situation isn't right for you, there is a polite way to leave. First of all DON'T BE RUDE!! Be nice because we have feelings too. If she is not your type, POLITELY tell her so. If the situation is all wrong, explain to her that you just don't feel comfortable. Offer to reimburse her for any expenses she has incurred on your account (such as a room or gas), if there were no expenses (she already had a room for other customers) at least give her $20 for her time that you have wasted and the trouble she has gone through. And most of all.........appologize! Unless she has lied to you about her appearence or price, this is YOUR fault!
If you follow my suggestions you will find that this situation to be much less awkward......and the girls won't get as mad at you.
I am sorry about your experience.
I'm sure this happens to a lot of the ladies at some time.
Who really knows what he was thinking.
Chalk it up to experience and move on. Don't let it get you down.
Good advice in your post, I know most of us already know that but it's good to remind us sometimes.
You sound like a very nice young lady, i hope you are doing well.
Personally, the 1am date seems a little odd to me and maybe should have been a red flag, but thats just me.
Just my opinion...
B
I do understand your frustration. But I was wondering about some things that might have helped you assess the situation so you won't make the same mistake:
1) Did he know that you had to pay for the room just to meet him? He's a newbie and don't know the rules (he said he has not done this before). Maybe he thought you stayed there. After all he does not know the rules of the game. I've heard from many laides who said new gents don't DFK or DATY because they thought that was not allowed.
2) He was surely nervous. But it seems you were also concious of your appearance (I could be wrong but that's the impression I got from your letter). I think your first question should not have been "Am I Ok?" but other questions like "Is this really your first time?", "Can I get you a glass of water?", or "Have a seat and let's get to know each ohter?" Sometimes it's not the physical thing, but the atmosphere that could make a guy chicken. But that's just my opinion. When he said he wanted to go - there could have been many reasons. I don't think it was you. He could have just chickened out for 100 other reasons.
But any experienced hobbyist would have paid for a cancellation. So, I conclude this guy was not.
Oh yes, he knew I had to pay for the room. I told him on the phone that I had to pay for another room, and so he BETTER show up.
Once he stepped into the room, the FIRST thing I said (after introducing myself) was "You've never done this before, right??". He didn't answer me; only stood there with that strange and slightly disgusted look on his face, which led me to then ask him "Am I OK??".
NO, there was no misunderstanding here. The guy was downright RUDE!
.... and I was scared shitless. I was very apprehensive about anything that looked out of place, felt wrong, or if my partner seemed even a little off balance. Anything would have spooked me.
I was very lucky and hooked up with a provider that had been around a wile and knew how to keep things calm.
Just me:
Scot.
At best, the guy was a Newbie and didn't know any better... At worst, he was a worm.
You, however, have a gold star in heaven for bending over backwards to make it Okay and easy for this guy. You certainly didn't have to let him off the hook, and you shouldn't in the future. It is NOT all right for a guy to walk after tying up your time, money and trouble. Your time is valuable, your money is valuable and your self-esteem is priceless. He had no excuse for what he did.
If there's a lesson or two to be learned here, I'd say:
1. Don't book a room for a session with a client you haven't seen before.
2. Don't tell a client he has no obligation: he DOES have an obligation once he's booked. Take a look around these boards at how hobbyists slam providers who don't show up or are late. What's sauce for the goose...
But -- I'm a hobbyist -- you really need to hear from other providers on this.
You are right. Thank you. I will follow your advice next time.
Part of the reason I let him go was because I didn't want to service someone who acts like that. It makes me self-concious.
I've seen some providers who have a "no obligation" policy and I think that's reasonable. If she asks for some amount to cover her time or nothing at all, giving the client a chance to "opt out" I think is a good thing as it can avoid a bad session and that aftermath.
I think in this case the guy was plain rude. Obviously, his mental picture of Anna-Lisa's description didn't match what he saw when greeted by her in person and he was put off by the whole situation.
Personally, I probably would have dug seeing Anna-Lisa in her t-shirt and jeans vs lingerie but that's another topic of discussion. For the record, I've never seen Anna-Lisa and had never heard of her outside of this thread and maybe a few posts by her on this board.
I think sometimes guys don't consider the providers as being "ladies" deserving the same kind of respect they would offer some lady on the street they might try to meet, if they have any respect for women at all.
Sorry you had to experience this, Anna-Lisa. Next time you've got the room @ 1:00 am and no one to hang out with give me a jingle and I'll come right over. We won't worry about our geographic proximities until then BUT be forewarned that it might take me a while to drive to you depending on where you got the room. 
Peace...
What a jerk. He should have at least told you why he was cancelling. I hate when someone does that. It has happened to me years ago when I had no pictures yet. Each time was through an agency but it was so depressing being turned down, these were outcall appts. I think only one guy was honest with me and said I was not his type. And I didn't take the cancellation fee, cause I was stubborn and said forget it. I paid the driver and everything, even extra since it took so long and he had other girls he was driving that night.
The problem with not booking a room for an unknown client is this - some guys will not feel comfortable getting the room themselves. I guess becuase they are nervous already and married, whatever, have to show the hotel ID. I require a reference now for incalls so I think that helps. But alot of guys still call & want incall but have no reference. A guy this morning called and said his reference was mad that he asked her for one to see me.
See if you don't do incalls at your home (which I don't anymore) where else are you gonna see a guy who needs incall? Some of the guys in my area are so spoiled that they expect to come right to your house. Some only want to give their first name & cell phone number! I don't think so.
I still get a room for new clients and I also make it clear that I need them to show up since I am getting it to see them which is always the case. I don't get a room unless I have a client to see.
Sorry that happened to you. It sounds like it was his loss.
Sara
This guy was a Newbie and as such, was probably going to back out even if you were a 10 (whatever that is). It might help though to post some sort of picture which hides you face (many do this) as it does help eliminate such an excuse. I suspect that it was mostly newbie jitters...I remember them and while no longer a newbie, I still get them.
The reasons I don't give pictures are that hundreds of guys ask for them, and most of these guys are not serious about booking an appointment with ANYONE. When you send a picture, they say "WOW!! Your hot!" and ask for another one, and another, and another....then they think I am rude when I say "enough pictures and e-mail tag, do you want an appt or not?". My pictures are bad also. My customer took them and he made the file so big that each picture takes 15 minutes to download. If I sent pictures to everyone who asked, I'd be stuck on the computer all day instead of working.
Besides, the description I give on my ad is GUARANTEED to be accurate.
I've got no issue with your decision not to send pictures to potential clients. However, if the size of the images is an issue, send me a batch via e-mail and I will resize them for you and send them back to you. I do it all the time and when I come across providers websites where they use HTML attributes to "scale" large images on their behalf, I will download the large images and resize them to the sizes specified in the HTML and send them back the pictures so they can use them if they choose to help their pages load more quickly.
Send me a private message if interested and I can give you contact info on ladies I've done this kind of work for previously so you can find out from them how I operate.
Peace...
First, I think you are very kind for arranging another room at that hour and looking hot as all get-up. What a sweetheart! However, at that hour, I would never take a new client. I first screen everyone that contacts me because of these awkward situations. I know that men sometimes like to see someone right away -- I can't blame them, but then perhaps he should have called an agency, although they still should screen the gentleman for the provider's protection. You mentioned very kindly to the gentleman that it was okay for him to leave -- "under no obligations", I believe you said. So you cannot really blame him for leaving. It would have been nice for him to reimburse you for the hotel, but in our line of business that seldoms happens with a situation like this. Maybe you could have said to him, "I'm sorry, but this is a last-minute appointment and I haven't had the chance to freshen up yet. Would you like to join me?" I don't know if that would have worked, but maybe he would not have had the opportunity to have backed out. Also, can you get pictures of yourself and make them available on the Internet? This helps to cut through the chase of men turning away from you because they already have an idea about what you look like. Better luck next time. Hugs, kisses and warm sentiments.
Hugs,
Ciara
I once had a lad tell me after 20 minutes, he couldn't go through with it because he kept thinking of his girlfriend. I had another one tell me the same thing at the door and then try to come back a year later.
Once you give out your location on a travel incall, your security is in jeopardy. The whole thing could just be a game to find out where you are located. It's a catch 22. Morally, you need to let them go if they want to go. They may have many reasons for leaving (other than you) and you should respect those. What if you were in the same boat and you just got cold feet or looked like he was drunk? Shouldn't you be allowed to tell him to leave? I have gotten cold feet many times and guys always respected this. I only had one case where a guy refused to leave and I had to leave and leave him in my room.
But the other issue is more serious. You have an obligation to protect the safety of those who you have seen during the day before him and during your stay in that hotel room. So, there remains the burning question of "what was the deal"?
If I were you, I would have let him leave and then called him right after. Tell him that it would really help you to know why he left. For all you know, this guy could have been working for the hotel and seeing if you were working. He could have been someone who was working who thought you were adorable and didn't want to go through with his task. He could have been a rapist who had a soft spot for you. You could have reminded him of his daughter.
I had one guy turn me down because he said I wasn't slutty looking enough and that it would be "almost a sin", that he could never violate a wholesome girl. In time, after I put a video on my site, I heard from him again, well over a year later. He had determined the wholesome thing was a duality. We arranged to meet again. I let him come to my door a second time. I allowed him to come in, I looked him over up an down and I told him in the most serious of ways that I couldn't see him because he was looking "less Asian than he did a year and a half ago". He looked himself up and down and off he went. Called me back while driving home and told me we were even. We laughed and that was that.
People have preconceived notions of how you will look, photos or no photos. For others, it's a reason to abuse. For the security of your clients, the power must rest in your hands and you must make it obvious to him that you have his cell phone number. You have an obligation to protect those that have seen you over your stay and those who will see you in the days to come. Anyone who knows where you are staying and did not take the appoinment/appeared ticked off or displeased is a potential threat to the group. Relocating to a different hotel would have been a good move.
IMPORTANT
It's not about what happened on that booking but more about how it is going to impact the people who DID see you or WILL SEE you. The most important part of being a top notch entertainer is security. I know this doesn't sound too glamourous but in the end, you need to help those you care about by preserving all they put at risk by trusting you. So move forward in your thought process but spending less time worrying why he left and more time thinking about how next time your suitcases should always remain in a semi-packed or easy to pack state in order to move if it was necessary to do so. It is possible to feel concerned to the point of panic when something like this happens, a myriad of thoughts. Disappointment, confusion and then worry. Trust your instincts and do what feels safe at the time. Never take a booking from a blocked number and make sure it's the cell phone he's carrying in his hand.
ah! I feel you there! yes, I think all of us have dealt with a nervous newbie at one time or the other that looked like he was going to bolt from nervousness..... suggestion.. Although I rarely see newbies anymore, I DO make sure that I am not doing a "same day appt" on the initial contact...I want to make sure that they are "sure" that they want to venture into this and that it is just not an insatiable curiousity desire, a bad day with their S.O, or some horny fantasy where they may not have thought it out very well...an "impulse" buy to say...not being "too available " is the key and let's them realize the seriousness in set-up as the hotel $$ (esp with some of the more upscale places..) can really really hurt on a walk-out...Yes, many of them will have the reality set in after the beer, drinks, fight with the SO, reading of the Penthouse mag settles down and won't call back to actually Ever jump into the hobby...but then you wouldn't have wasted your time..
-- Modified on 7/10/2004 4:11:28 PM
Annalisa,
Sorry about your experience. As others have said, chalk it up to newbie nerves. The 1 a.m. might have been your only clue to a potential problem.
The 1st time for all (at least most) of us was awkward I'm sure. A link to your web site might help some of us "make it up to you" if you are located in our area. Hope next time is a whole ot better for you!
paypal helps too....everyone pitches one buck in.
Rudeness is never an option. Even when I have been scammed by bait and switch (hot asian contacted; not-so-hot white gal opens the door), a polite "oh, my, must be some sort of miscommunication...I believe I will decline..." is suggested. EOM. BOB.
As others have said I think this was just a case of newbie jitters. Excuse the expression but I suspect that he was so apprehensive that if he heard a mouse fart he was ready to start running down the hall. Later he was probably embarrassed by his own fearfulness and at a later date will try with another lady. He will be more determined to control his own fears and will go through with it. Unfortunately that does not compensate you for the room or your lost time. Sorry it had to happen to you.
I think that you were not his "type". I'm sure that 90% of the guys in the world find you very attractive, but he was part of the 10 % that didn't. It would have helped tremendously if you had a pic sent to him by email.
He should definetly have compensated you for the 1am appointment
I gave him a VERY detailed and accurate description. Early 20's, white, 5'3", slim, long blond/brown hair, hazel eyes, natural perky breasts with no stretch marks, and a pretty face. I told him I had a few tattoos and peicings, I told him that on a scale of 1 th 10, I would be an 8, and I told him that although I am young and slim, I am not the "little girl" type. I'm sure you will agree that This is a very detailed description (and I guarantee it accurate) and he should've been able to tell by this if I was his type or not. If he got there and I was not what he expected (which would mean that he didn't LISTEN to my description), he still didn't have to be so RUDE!!
As the saying goes "One picture is worth a thousand words". As Louis pointed out, 90% of men probaly would have been excited by your looks, but maybe that particular guy was not.
I agree that he should have compensated you for the room AND the trouble that you went through to meet him past 1am.
I am pretty sure, that you are a very beautiful woman, in your own right! We all can toot our horn, so to speak, for we have men who chase us. But as one poster put it, he may not have been attracted to you. There are a very few episodes where I have been turned down, and my ego had been bruised. 90% of the time, I have men who divert their attention to me, as I am walking down the street. But, there will always be someone out of the norm, who will not even glance my way. There will always be someone out there, who is simply not attracted to us no matter how we look.
"...and he should've been able to tell by this if I was his type or not."
I am not defending his rude behavior, but that statement just isn't accurate. There's so much to chemistry, which can't be boiled down into just a few words.
You sound very attractive to me, but there's no way I could know, one way or the other, whether you're "my type" or not, until after we met. Even a photo wouldn't be 100% definitive (though it goes an aweful long way).
Again, I am not excusing his behavior. I merely caution you against relying on verbal descriptions to be enough for someone to make up their mind.
In parts of the country where LE is aggressive, that's the last thing you want to be doing.
But to your main point-- I used to date a provider and one thing I learned during those years was the later at night the phone call for an appointment, the higher the chance of getting a flake or an asshole.
In her case, the unreliable client not only affected her, but me too, since I had to cancel my plans with her only to find out later that we both sat home alone thanks to some moron's inconsiderate behavior.
It's been discussed before, but some guys feel they need a back-up plan if their charming personalities can't get them laid after a night at the bar. And as others have said, he sounds like a newbie who didn't know what he wanted. You drew the short straw on this evening and, unfortunately, there's no defense against these self-absorbed types.
I never use explicit language on the phone, only elusive words that could mean anything such as "full service", "all inclusive" and "no Greek".
A new client at that hour without screening is asking for a problem. One you may not wish to handle. Bad idea. NO amount of money is worth your life/security.
Damn but you are one sweet lady....give the screw ball an out...and he ran like the coward he was......
I guess its just me...and I'm still a tad bit new....but I do not like for my providers to encure expense other then gas/time to get to me. After that, I provide protection, room, refreshment, payment for service renderend...femine products for comfort afterwards....a small tip if I like the service and my own little touch....a pink rose........
Can't get the civi ladies to treat me right....but that does not mean I can't treat a provider like a lady......
Lets be a tad bit more careful pretty lady.....play safe, and do not get hurt.....it just ain't worth it if ya do......
Hugs....
Ozzy