Hello board, during my travels lately I've experienced a lot of the conversations between us girls turn into discussing clients, the industry and the problems that seem to be becoming more frequent. I wanted to touch on a few things that came up that may help those clients that may be new to the industry get the most out of their chosen providers. This is by no means a rant of any sort. Just my humble opinion written with good intentions. I believe you will always have a more enjoyable encounter if the provider genuinely likes you. As much as no sensible escort these days would like to lose a client, I notice that some may choose to ignore the behaviors and refrain from bringing to your attention what you're doing wrong. I strive to be the most pleasing and understanding person I can be in all aspects of life, however I will not hesitate to speak up if something makes me uncomfortable. Here are a few thoughts to keep in mind when seeking a provider
When choosing a provider search for one whos rates reflect what your comfortable to pay. This is your decision and most importantly your money. Once you have done your research and contacted a companion that fits your needs, don't try to re-negotiate her rates. Although some providers may go along with it or be willing to bargain, I can assure you that will always get a lower level of attitude,service and performance.
Giving your chosen companion a fair amount of notice is always to your advantage. Please don't rush your provider. When you give us proper notice we can use the time to look our best and think of exciting ways to enjoy our time with you. As a companion myself I take pride in being on time and know your time is just as valuable as my own. Just politely remember your ordering a woman not a pizza
I believe that basic everyday etiquette should be equally important in the hobbyist and provider relationship as well. Woman are attracted to a good smelling and well groomed man. Proper hygiene and a smile can go a long ways. A neatly dressed man with a positive attitude who is sweet and flirtatious can be a breath of fresh air to us. Try it. You will notice the difference
If your scheduled to show up for an incall please show up on time. Last minute cancellations,no shows and repeated excuses can cause friction and lead to a provider to refuse to see you, or even worse give you a bad reputation amongst providers in your hobby community .
Respect your companions boundaries. Be respectful of when and how you touch her. Practice a little restraint and give her a moment to become comfortable before you use your hands. Sudden grabbing and pulling can be offsetting and awkward to your provider especially if this is your first meeting. Take your time and let the moment develop naturally. Once again you will get a better response and most likely an overall better experience
Don’t spoil the fantasy by asking questions that are invasive to her personal life. Most of us dislike questions such as "Why are you doing this?" "What's your real name?" "How much money do you make?" or "Did you have a bad childhood?" Keeping the conversation sexy,interesting and engaging works magic especially on extended encounters. When and if a companion chooses to open up about her personal life is her right. If she chooses not to please don't take it personal.
Once your time together begins, see if you can describe what you desire from her in a respectful, fun, and exciting way. Everybody has different pleasures. Gentlemen this is the fun part where you tell her just how you like it! Good communication at this point can be a huge turn on and also ensure you get the satisfactions your seeking.
Every provider has different limitations. Not all ladies provide the same services and not all hobbyist have the same request. That’s the beauty of being different. There's somebody for everybody and we all have a choice who we see and don't see. Pressuring a provider to perform services she's not comfortable with will very often turn a sweet situation into a sour occasion . Allow her to keep her self-protections and limits in place. Don't ask her to abandon her personal limits for a little extra cash.
Feel free to express your appreciation if she's doing a good job. Woman love compliments, even in the pleasure department
Don't fall in love. If you can't control your emotions and it becomes an issue, it my be best you see somebody else for awhile. Don't feel that because your a regular client that you can control what the provider does with her free time. A jealous client is soon a former client. Enjoy the time you share together and keep things casual.
So in conclusion it's not about how good of reviews you may write for us, or how well known you are in the hobby community. It is not about the size of your wallet or how often you intend to see us. It also has very little to do with how successful you may or may not be. The men who are out there having great times with providers are the men who are doing these things above.
In fact, I will even go so far as to say, you can BE a huge spender,well known with handsome looks and a knockout career but if you are NOT doing these things, you are not getting the most out of your hobby dollars. You are certainly wasting your money on mediocre sessions with shut-down resentful providers who won't tell you why. And shopping around for different ladies won't help, because you'll run into the same thing everywhere you go. But make no mistake there are many wonderful hobbyist out there who are always a pleasure to see and their escort etiquette is second nature. If there's anything you would like to see more from us as providers feel free to join the discussion. This is just my humble .02 cents
Ladies and gentlemen is there anything I left out? Something that you would like to add? Comments?
Please Share!
Have a great 2014 TER !
Ginger Armani
Thank you for taking the time to post this, Ginger. As a newby, myself, I find any bits of advice that I can find valuable. I have found a fair amount of advice from the client side, but not as much from the providers. Your post is very appreciated!
Your very welcome. Just my humble .02 cents. It's a beautiful thing when people on both sides can respect each other and gain an friendship and mutual understanding
Ginger, very sound advice for any man. Thank you.
Thanks Bosty, I guess common sense is just not that common anymore
Great post Ginger. Everyone needs to read it and live it.
The only extra suggestion I could make is if you book 1 hour or 2 hours or whatever you book, don't stick around past the time or try and stretch it out longer. If the lady wants to extend your time together SHE will let you know. My .02.
Vampy
Agreed Vampy. Thank you, Ginger, for this advice. Most guys need to print this out to refer to from time to time.
It would be interesting to hear the opposite: How to get the best from your gent.
Thanks Vampy,
Good point. And I can't speak for all of the ladies of course but personally If I'm having a good time I'm not going to be watching the clock. I'm going to be engaged with you. Most of my friends usually book longer engagements so since we are out and about enjoying ourselves the time often goes well over the intended session. I have no problem with this and I'm sure some of the other ladies my share my feelings as well. The only times I've felt like I wanted to rush the session along was due to the bad mannerisms and uncomfortable negative vibe of the client. But for the most part I believe that guys are sweet and will do their best to make the experience great for us ladies.
someone has to spell this out. These advice should be intuitive. Clean hygiene, being gracious, understanding that this is a fantasy, and making sure everyone feels safe - how hard is that.
From a gentlemen's perspective. We love ladies
1) who is also on time - make-up and shower should be done well in advance. Not 2 mins prior to meet time. worst thing is when you call and she says "not ready give me 5 more mins" after waiting for 15 mins and you call back only to hear "just another 5 mins babe"
2) have clean hygiene
3) does not upsell
4) can be in the moment - hate it when I hear things like how tired you are, whom you saw just before or your personal life problems. YOU are a fantasy for me. An escape from reality. It's all about you and I. There is no world hunger, crime, or any other worries when we are together.
5) you look like your photo TODAY - don't want to see photos from 10 years ago. Also if you are dressed to the 9's and have make-up done in your photos - that whom I am expecting to see. It's your photos that I have been having fantasies about.
6) who does not lie about her age - Depending on my mood, I prefer to see ladies in their, 20's, 30's, 40's or >50. I don't want to schedule to see a lady in her 30's only to run into someone who is in her late 40's and visa versa
Ki.wan,
Thanks for the feedback. It is just as important that us should feel obligated to live up to the natural expectations that you gentlemen have for us as well. All of these are truly good points and should be remembered by us all . Great stuff
Thank you!
As clear, and careful, and kind as anyone could describe how to enjoy time with a woman who chooses to spend time with a man she may not even know before the moment!
There are a multitude ways we men may go wrong, outside the hobby, let alone inside the hobby, and frankly I can't imagine sometimes how you ladies deal with it.
As ancient as I am, I am still something of a 14 year old boy in the presence of a woman who is good enough, kind enough, skilled enough, and smart enough as to go to dinner with me, charm me, touch me, and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Forgive us!
We are forwarned.
Now I'm going to go look up your web site!
Excellent content.
A pleasant informative read.
Deprived, with added content.
Thank you Greek.
Unique name btw
A pleasant informative read.
Deprived, with added content.
Indeed, my pleasure to sing out praise of your wordsmithing abilities to craft a wonderful, worthwhile creation.
Deprived, but not blind.
to write such a thoughtful post. Add to that the input from Ki.Wan regarding the guy's point of view and we have a nice set of guidelines for all to ponder and follow.
I'll add one more item to the list. I always address appointment requests etc. to the lady by starting off with her name. I end it with my name. Too often her reply back starts with "Hi babe (or Hun, Sweetie, or som other generic term like that.) Makes me feel kinda like I'm number 27 for the day. And yet we are supposedly discussing a GFE. To me it's a nice touch when the reply is addressed in a more personal manner. Enhances the fantasy. Also, I find that the ladies who do add that personal touch also provide incredible and classy times as well. Just my $.02.
xxxray,
That's such an excellent point. There is so much power in a name.I'm guilty of forgetting names sometimes myself. I've heard stories about famous people like Walt Disney, and Theodore Roosevelt who could remember the names of all the people they met even if it was years ago. How awesome is that!
Great Post !
To add to this ….
My biggest reason for not doing what could be good apt is the lack of time , which was partially covered but not only to get ready but to properly verify and check out a client . I cannot tell you how many apt requests I get from new clients for within the hour or next couple hours and not only do they expect you to make the apt, be ready, possibly drive to a hotel and park but they are new to me and not verified. It takes some time to look up all the items and check a person out. The other issue is when I ask for certain items say references they trickle in information piece by piece over several hours.
Every week there are numerous ones that have these expectations. Many I run quick trying to accommodate but some I just cannot. The other issue is lack of cooperation on parking and directions ect in getting people safely into the incall. I find that I have trouble getting some to listen and do as I say for both of our safety. This has been a big deal lately. Then the third issue is planning stuff that takes a lot of time on my part , say booking to another city and 30 emails about it and then a sorry can't make that work the next day. I would find less frustration and a more gracious less tired attitude if these behaviors did not wear me down. If there is any single reason beside the LE issues that I would leave the industry it is these items above. I love many of my apts once we get together but with cooperation it could be so much easier to get the that place. Thats my .02Cents if you wished to know .
xo ox
Payton
Payton,
Thanks for adding this. It couldn't have been stated better. Great points
Ginger
Clear, concise communication is a must.
Initially, I provide just the basic information requesting date, time, location, length of session, where I found your location and my DC-ID information to get started. If it someone local, no less than a week beforehand to allow for sufficient scheduling availability and allow for the proper screening. Permission from prior recent providers to allow using them as a reference is a very thoughtful thing as well.
Clearly recognizing the risks faced in meeting someone new, keeping the communication on target. From your website and reviews, I know up front what to expect, what I need to bring and how to bring it.
Definitely don't email when drunk late at night!! Just as bad as old school drinking n' dialing. There is nothing worse than looking at the "sent" box and having the "oh shit" moment. It happened once with someone whom I had been looking to see for a long time, and never heard back from them. Reading what I wrote, I'd not want to consider even seeing myself in the mirror. C'est la vie.
At the end of the day, this is still a transactional business relationship. Don't take yourself seriously, and keep your emotions in check.
And go have fun
OK, I rarely post on this forum. (Sorry, guys, just have a busy life.) But I guess I am a bit known in this area by now. And more than once I have had someone remark that they did not have as good a time as I had with a certain provider. I am sometimes the first to review a new lady in the area, and then the "scores" coming in a little later might be a little lower. Not always, but some times. I have wondered why this might be the case. (And no, its not just because I am an overly nice guy! lol)
But I think there are some very simple things you can do to make the experience as good as possible. Most of them are just common sense/ common courtesy kind of things, so I am even surprised that I’d have to say what I am about to… but more than once I have been told by a lady that she wished more of her clients were like me… and it aint because I look like George Clooney… lol… so maybe its time to share my “secrets”.
But there really are no secrets. This stuff is so obvious in retrospect. Anyway, here goes:
#1: Most important: RESPECT. Treat every provider you are with like a human being. That doesn’t mean treat her like a goddess on a pedestal! (Although some might like that…lol) It just means treat her nicely, like she was a friend, not someone you’re negotiating against to get the best deal at a garage sale. The Golden Rule ALWAYS applies.
I could just stop there… but lets get more detailed.
#2: Show up prepared. That means: be showered, shaved, and teeth brushed. (If you know the provider and know its OK to use their shower, you can slide on 2 out of 3… but if its someone new, better be ready when you arrive.) Hygiene IS important. I expect this in the providers I am with, and I have left if I was unsatisfied with the state of their cleanliness, so I would not blame a provider who asked someone to leave who did not meet their standards. Also: bring your own condoms in case they are needed (or you like a certain brand). She still has the right to use her own, if she insists, but best to be prepared. I also bring lubricant with me. (You can buy single-use samples online, so that nobody has to worry about hygiene.) I have had more than one session cut short because the lady did not have lube… So, be prepared! Also, put down the money for her time at the start of the session, don’t make her ask for it. And have the right amount counted out separately before you or she gets there. Don’t talk about the money, unless it is necessary. (I typically excuse myself to go to the restroom at this point, giving her the chance to count or hide it, if she feels the need. That is usually only important the first time you see someone.)
#3: Communicate and LISTEN. This can be hard for some guys… but man, does it make a difference! I always ask right up front what someone’s limits/rules are, so there are no surprises/disappointments later. And I respect them. Do NOT try to get a lady to do something that she is uncomfortable about, or make her feel bad about it if she doesn’t. (Now, if she had promised something earlier, and canceled it, well that is a strike against her… but a woman can ALWAYS change her mind and say NO. Period.) During your time together make frequent efforts to gauge how she is feeling, if it is good for her, if she is uncomfortable, etc. You would do this for a girlfriend, so if you are hoping for a good experience, then do YOUR part. Ask what she likes, how she likes it, and listen to what she says (and doesn’t say). That usually tells me if what I am doing is working well, or if I should change tack.
#4: Don’t get TOO personal. Never ask why she is doing this. That is the sign of a newbie. And it always comes off as either judgmental or pitying. Every lady has her reason — and it is probably somewhat different for each one. (I also don’t like it the few times that a provider has asked ME why I am doing this! LOL) Don’t ask what her real name is or where she lives, etc. She is entitled to her security, just like you. And do NOT expect that this relationship is going to extend outside of the time that you spend together as client/provider. Be satisfied with that. If you cannot be, then you should not be a hobbyist… (Some of these ladies have had to change names, phones, and even their apartment or house, because of a crazy client stalking them. So don’t give her reason to think you might be the next one!) Keep the conversation light and upbeat. Unless she asks and seems sincerely interested, don’t volunteer really personal stuff from your own life either — why lay your baggage on her? And don’t forget to compliment her! (It doesn’t matter if you are paying for her time, women do like that. And it costs you nothing.)
#5: Be aware of the time. We don't like clock watchers... but remember, we ARE paying for time. So, I put the responsibility on myself to keep track of the time. I will even bring it up occasionally. (Example: "OK, looks like we have 15 minutes left.") That way she knows that I am aware of the time and when it ends. Don't go late! If you think you might want to extend the time, bring it up EARLY on to see if she can do that – don't just assume that her schedule will allow for that. If you pay for an hour, don't go beyond an hour, unless she says it is OK. You are paying for time, so if you take more than you pay for, you are stealing her time. (The flip side of that, ladies, is that if he paid for an hour, don't kick him out early!)
I think that does it. Like I said, everything is pretty obvious. But if it helps someone… my work here is done.
-- Modified on 2/16/2014 3:03:21 PM