I don’t know where Redhead actually grew up but in my head we went to the same high school in the Twin Cities.  Her red hair was shorter than it is now.   The first time I knew who she was is when our lockers were assigned next to each other.  But she never came to her locker between classes so I never got to see her.
    Later in the fall I was in the Cafeteria eating my Chicken Ala King and she came up to me holding her tray of Toasty-Dogs and Tri-Taters and she asked me to the Homecoming Dance.
    I said, “You Betcha!” and asked if she wanted to sit down for lunch.  She said, “Nope” and walked off to sit with her friends.

    Turkana came over.  “What was that about?”  (He had a tray with both Chicken Ala King AND Toasty-Dogs.  How does he get away with that everyday!?)
    “Red and I are going to Homecoming together!”
    “No Way!”  He gave me “five”.  I couldn’t believe my luck.  I asked Turk if he wanted to sit and have lunch.  “Nope” and off he went.

    I borrowed my parents’ Volvo station wagon.  My Mother always called the color “baby-shit brown”
I had a corsage for Red big enough to pollinate a tree farm.  Turk was taking Little Sue to the dance and we got a hotel room out in Hopkins to party in after the dance.

    I picked up Redhead and I held all the doors and pulled out all the chairs.  We ate dinner at DiNapoli on Hennepin Ave.  We were over dressed for the place:  I in my powder blue denim leisure suit and bright orange shirt with long pointy collar.  Red in an amazing ruffily maroon dress.  I couldn’t stop looking at her perky B-Cup chest and sexy lips.
I was the only boy in high school with side-burns.  Red would stick her finger in them while I drove.  That gave me a hard-on and I was embarrassed.

    We slow danced to “Colour My World” played by a garage band.  Turk was tall even then and Little Sue only came up to his belly-button.  But he was grinning ear to ear.  So was I.
We all drove out to our hotel and Redhead pulled her swimsuit out of her little purse.  She changed in the bathroom.  She came out in her blue suit with her corsage attached to the strap and we left Turk and Sue in the room and went to the pool.
We got wet.  Her hair started to grow!  She pulled me into her arms and I kissed her.  Her breasts started to grow and suddenly, during the kiss, we were ten years older in the University of Minnesota West Bank Library.  We were behind the stacks making out.  Our bodies had filled out a little, my hair was thinner.  She sank down to her knees while she unzipped my cargo pants.  A janitor’s radio in the distance was playing a Talking Heads song.  The lights suddenly clanked off.

    In the winter night-light coming through the window, with snow on the sill,  I could see her eyes smiling.  She pulled out Little Sampson (who in the 80’s was just named “wee wee”)  and started licking me.  I took her long red hair in my fingers and leaned my head back against a volume of Aristotle.  I was so hard I could’ve turned the pages with my cock.  I opened my eyes and we were both older still…in the back of a jeep by Lake Harriet.  She rose from the floor and reached over to turn off the radio because “I’m Not Lisa” had just started playing on the oldies channel.

    I slipped off her jeans and black lacey undies.  She pulled off my B-52’s Tee shirt and ran her fingers through my chest hair and full beard.  I slipped Little Sampson into her fuzzy red pussy and we cow-girled slow while she kissed my bald pate.  I unbuttoned her western vest and released her D cups.  Gosh, her breasts have gotten huge since high school!  I bury my face in them and she climbs up slowly as I kiss her tummy and work my way down as she works her way up.  We recline, the years passing, and we’re in a hotel room with Ray Charles playing.  She continues to climb until her shaved pussy is on my lips and she’s straddling my face.

    She moves her hips and I hold her sheer white butt hard.  She grinds faster and I’m flicking her clit with my entire tongue.  Redhead moans and cums and we’re both trying to use our fingers to have a taste.

    There’s a loud banging on the door.  Red puts her hands over her eyes and says, “Oh no!  I was too loud again!”  We wrap blankets around our naked bodies and peek out the door.  It’s Turk with a satchel full of butt plugs.  He’s gotten distinguished in a gray statesman fashion.  He looks down to see Little Sampson poking his cute little head out from behind my blanket.  The Subdudes newest album starts playing.

    “Sorry!” Turk says, “I thought I was running late!”
    “Right on time”, Red smirks, putting her hand around my hard fella.

That’s the update, friends!  What a field I till.
    Love,  Jockeypants.