Our society condones an open attitude towards sex and sexuality. Many if not most girls today have had sex by the time they are 16 or 17. Few make through college without having long since given up their virginity. Some will already fxxk on the first date. Others may have a five date rule before spreading their legs. Some will have one night stands just for the fun of it, pick up men at bars or engage in all sorts of sexual behavior at sorority or frat parties or on spring break.
The contemporary woman in her 20s has probably been sexually active for years. Few are the men or women who are still virgins when they marry and settle down. This is the state of contemporary morality. Sex is open, the subject of prime time tv programs and movies that our children see before they even reach puberty.
Is providing any worse or offensive than being sexually active in civie life? I have come to the conclusion that the answer is no. An adult woman has the right to make choices about her body. As long as a woman is discriminating in her selection of clients and maintains a sense of self dignity and self respect, chosing to be an escort wiith benefits is just an extension of today's sexual values. On moral, if not legal grounds, I have to admit to myself that a sexually active daughter might chose to fulfill her sexual desires as a profession.
And now the part that will probably raise eyebrows and trigger responses. I would not be happy if my daughter were to chose to be a prostitute. That to me connotes a trashy and slutty attitude towards sex which is very different from what I have just described which I would call being an escort, provider or courtesan.
Semantics? Probably. But in my mind, there is a significant difference. Probably just a delusional rationalization on my part as I have no problem paying for companionship with an escort but i would never see a prostitute. I would accept my daughter's choice to be the former but never the latter.
I Hope that this makes some sense.
-- Modified on 7/18/2012 6:49:11 PM
Lately, i have been pondering the situation of how I would act/react if I learned that one of my daughters has started providing. Would love some insight and thoughts on the subject. I consider myself pretty open minded. I do not want to hypocritical either. Any thoughts or suggestions??
The more, likely it is to happen. What is your issue? It is ok for you to hobby, but not for her to get paid to have fun...
2 way st.
Don't sweat the small stuff!
whats good for the gander..is good for the geese..
Have some reason to think that is a possibility?
I've wondered how the porn star parents handle it, the internet has allowed porn to be so readily available. Porn is so revealing, no hidden face shots or any type of discretion.
....not a parent (yet ....not planning on it for another 5 to 10 yrs lol....closer to 10) but I KNOW but gut reaction would be shock/fear like "oh god no" but that's because I know what it's like dealing on the provider side. I know I couldn't be too raaaarrrrrrrr against it but I'm pretty sure first instinct as a parent is to protect/want to protect your child even if you're doing it or done it. And screening or familiarity isn't 100% foolproof and things can potentially become dangerous at anytime.
If she's hell-bent on doing it I guess try to understand why she'd want to do it if that would begin to help make you "okay" about it and make sure every chance you get to make sure she's staying safe mentally & physically. Also, if anything goes bad not to let "I told you so" or anything close to that be the first thing you say (or not one of the things you say at all).
-- Modified on 7/18/2012 5:08:40 PM
Our society condones an open attitude towards sex and sexuality. Many if not most girls today have had sex by the time they are 16 or 17. Few make through college without having long since given up their virginity. Some will already fxxk on the first date. Others may have a five date rule before spreading their legs. Some will have one night stands just for the fun of it, pick up men at bars or engage in all sorts of sexual behavior at sorority or frat parties or on spring break.
The contemporary woman in her 20s has probably been sexually active for years. Few are the men or women who are still virgins when they marry and settle down. This is the state of contemporary morality. Sex is open, the subject of prime time tv programs and movies that our children see before they even reach puberty.
Is providing any worse or offensive than being sexually active in civie life? I have come to the conclusion that the answer is no. An adult woman has the right to make choices about her body. As long as a woman is discriminating in her selection of clients and maintains a sense of self dignity and self respect, chosing to be an escort wiith benefits is just an extension of today's sexual values. On moral, if not legal grounds, I have to admit to myself that a sexually active daughter might chose to fulfill her sexual desires as a profession.
And now the part that will probably raise eyebrows and trigger responses. I would not be happy if my daughter were to chose to be a prostitute. That to me connotes a trashy and slutty attitude towards sex which is very different from what I have just described which I would call being an escort, provider or courtesan.
Semantics? Probably. But in my mind, there is a significant difference. Probably just a delusional rationalization on my part as I have no problem paying for companionship with an escort but i would never see a prostitute. I would accept my daughter's choice to be the former but never the latter.
I Hope that this makes some sense.
-- Modified on 7/18/2012 6:49:11 PM
A hellofa response. You summed up some of my feelings and I appreciate the input. My primary concern is safety, both physical as well as emotional. Of course the legal issues are also important too. But, i feel that the choice is theirs to make.
and how to articulately but briefly express that.
weather it is finances, her sex drive, or other reasons. each play a significant part in the decision.
my greatest fear is to meet a lady who is the daughter of a friend. I'm still waiting for that to happen. Now if it's a friends wife I am all in!!!!!
We live in a hypocritical morally confused society. Its perfectly OK for our kids to watch Freddie Krugar mutulate someone....but not OK for our kids to watch a movie about a natural human function engaged by every living human being at some point. Is the fear of ones daughter entering the business due to the sex or the danger? I think a parent worries about a daughter being in danger first ... and the profession can be dangerous from several aspects including jail. As to the sex..... a parent might worry the daughter is being desensitized to relationships..... or the parent is simply anal, uptight, confused.... jealous...... and probably morally hypocritical.
I don't "have" to be a provider, I "choose" to be one. The fact is, being a provider is way more fun than sitting behind a desk. Plus, I can bring home more money on one day than I can in one week as a bean-counter.
I have an adult daughter also. If I found out she was providing (by her own free will, not being forced into it), I'd make sure she was protecting her own safety and well-being, then I'd tell her to do what makes her happy. If my adult kids are dead-set on doing something, I try to offer gentle guidance, but basically I know that my role is now just to be there in the background for moral support. I'm no longer the helicopter, hovering over their every move. My role is now to be a cheerleader.