Do you just explicitly ask the provider for it? Or will she give a hint that it's available? Do you have to be a regular?
And then we advertise our indiscriminite & risky behavior on the national board for all of the community to see.
AINQ.
-- Modified on 7/4/2004 1:00:20 PM
Is that true or hype? You can always use an Alias so as not to reveal your identity on the national board.
During the late 70's and early 80's prior to the AID's issue it was not uncommon to have BBFS. Some of the responders fit into that category. During the mid 80's as the problem became more apparent it was difficult to find BBBJ or in some cases uncovered DATY.
Currently I suspect that some hobbyists look for it and some providers offer it.
it happens more times than you would think. But some sort of relationship has to be established before this topic is even approached on a serious basis. I know one gal who is incredibly popular in NY who stuck me in BB the second time I saw her. Needless to say, that didn't last long, and I never saw her again. I know 4 other gals that I've known a long time, and after the trust and honesty was established, BBFS was available. But I've seen maybe 7 girls total over the last 7 years, so my experience is limited. Whether or not a provider will do BBFS is all a matter of trust and her perception, and whether or not a customer will partake of the pleasure is a function of the same thing.
Sorry, the '70s are over. Wear bell-bottomed pants instead.
/Zin
My Mama always told me to wear a hat, or I could catch...cold? Or something worse!
Ib three years of providing I've only ever been asked once during a session. I've been asked 2 or 3 times in emails (in very long-winded and indirect ways) and the guys just haven't booked me when I've said no. So in my experience there are not many guys who want it. And I just can't begin to understand why a provider/client would ever consider it.
I think there a lot of guys who really "want" BBFS, but not all that many of us are stupid enough to venture into that realm. From a risk management perspective, BBFS is not worth the risks regardless of what I "want." I'll settle for what I can get and what's safe for all parties involved!
However, there are 2 ladies I have been with that hinted that it was available. In fact, one asked if I had put a condom on before entering her (she was flat on her tummy and it was during a sensual massage). I assured her I did and told her you might want to check and be sure BEFORE rather than ask him afterwards.
There is a hobbyist that I know who has had BBFS (and no I won't reveal who it is on this forum or through PM out of respect). His situation was different though, which I won't detail.
For me, it's play safe all the way.
I agree that *protected* is the way to go. I've not argued that point. I just stated that deep down, most guys want to get BBFS - but very few of us are stupid enough to even ask, let alone try. I don't relish the idea of Russian Roulette either!
In case you haven't heard, condomless fucking feels *slightly* better to men. At least that's what I remember 'cause I haven't had unprotected sex in over 20 years. So technically, all men "want" it, but they know better than to ask for it for such reasons as: self preservation and fear of ridicule. I rarely have intercourse anymore because I think my dick is just too desensitized with a condom on to stay hard so I just do oral only. Would I like to experience that deliciously wet and warm condomless caveman sex the way my fucking ancestors did? You're damn right I would! Will I ever ever ever???? Highly doubtful. Marriage seems unlikely at this point in my life and the kinds of assurances I would need to feel comfortable from any woman (mutual test results, a promise that I'm the only one getting the special treatment, and trust, trust, trust), I believe are simply unavailable in the hobby.
Thank God for all you wonderful women who provide BBBJ, especially CIM. I would feel pretty empty if I couldn't get that every once in awhile.
'zebub
P.S. Happy American Independence Day!!
I would be willing to bet that is where the vast majority of that 43% comes from.
I think the majority of the 43% comes from guys who hobbied when bbfs was commonplace. The survey didn't ask WHEN you got bbfs, just IF you got it.
A lot of guys posting on this board are older guys that hobbied back in the 70's and 80's before condoms became mandatory.
I might be wrong, but that's rare
Thus far In the past 6 months I have had adamant requests for such by 2 seperate hobbiests. Not only have I turned them down but oddly they persisted till i blocked them. One his reason was sensation, the other for odd fact that he is in a delicate high profile possition and the thril of risking a possible pregnancy etc
not something i would dare risk personaly
thus the boys shal continue to languish till they find a civie with no sence
I've never asked for it but it did happen one time after a night of partying while in the Far East. The panic that struck the next morning when I came to was enough to ensure it will never happen again. I now have a rule that I will never indulge my hobby if I have been drinking at all. Instead I book an early appointment before I hit the town, a great way to start the evening.
I've had 3 different ladies give me BBFS, and basically without any of them even asking ME beforehand if I wanted it. Things were going along, and the women involved didn't make an attempt to stop for protection. To preclude my comments, here's some preliminary info on these experiences:
A) All 3 instances have occurred since 1998. These weren't 1970's or early 1980's circumstances, to put a time reference on it.
B) In all 3 instances, I was in control of whether or not to go through with it.
C) In 2 instances, I did ask the lady about protection once it occurred to me we were about to have sex without it. Both times after asking, the lady was willing to use protection. I chose not to. I can't remember if I asked the third lady about protection.
D) In all 3 instances, it was the first time I had been with that woman.
E) In 2 instances, it went to completion.
The very first time it happened, the lady I was with had been giving me a BBBJ. She stopped and climbed towards me. Without even grabbing hold of it, she slid down on top of me. This happened in about 5 seconds, and to this day for me has been the easiest and quickest penetration I have ever experienced. When it happened, I was shocked, not because of the lack of protection, but how quickly it occurred. I have to admit it felt great; however I did ask her about protection. In the moment, I wasn't thinking about disease, but about potential pregnancy. She told me that wasn't an issue, because she previously had some medical problem (not cancer) which required an hysterectomy.
Up to that point, I had bareback sex only once in my life, and it was nearly 10 years before this encounter. It was with the only woman I have had "free" sex with in my entire life, and I did not cum inside her. (It was also the first time I had ever had sex period, and you can imagine my jitters and subsequent equipment difficulties.) The thought of the opportunity to cum inside a woman uncovered for the first time really aroused me when the BBFS started with the escort I was with, and since she had initiated it and had no problems with doing it, I suddenly didn't, either. At the end of the evening, I was a BBFSTC virgin no more. I think most men might've went through with it as well, if they would've seen the woman I was with that night.
There was no real drama for me with the other two women.
As I stated in the subject header, I have never asked for BBFS, and in general, do not ask for anything specifically. I do everything possible to respect the boundaries of the woman I'm with, and I definitely don't try to force an issue or demand something she isn't willing to offer. I do often ask ladies I see for the first time what things might be permissable, but in a cautious way, and not specifically asking them to do it. (EX: "Do you kiss?", not "Can we kiss?"). I've found that inquiring that way is quite benefitting, because if the lady does answer "Yes" to "Do you . . .?", it pretty much breaks the ice for it to happen, and it usually happens immediately after the inquiry is made.
I did ask a lady who I had seen several times to accommodate a particular request for me, but I approached the topic the same way as indicated above ("Do you ...?"), and after she indicated she had done it, I did ask her if we could do it the next time we met, and she said "Yes". She was true to her word, and it wasn't BBFS. I will ask a lady if she would like me to do something in particular for her, but in general, I won't ask them to do a particular service for me. Again, the boundaries of the lady are paramount for me to respect.
To close my long-winded commentary, I haven't asked and won't ask for BBFS, and would be very cautious is potentially asking for other services, if I even asked at all. With BBFS in particular, though, I most likely would not refuse it if the lady offered it or initiated it with me first. I'm quite sure I'm in the minority and going against the grain here, but it doesn't trouble me as much as it does the majority of posters on this thread. I am aware of the risks involved, and I hardly think I'm "invincible". I'm almost 40 years old, and my sexual history with women is rather miniscule when compared to others my age. I posted some of this before, but I've never had a girlfriend or significant other, have only had "free" sex once, and don't see escorts on any regular basis or schedule. I don't ever expect to have a regular, monogamous sex life where the risks involved with unprotected sex decrease somewhat. BBFS has been the exception and not the rule in my case. I definitely don't look for BBFS, but with my limited sexual experience and the unlikelihood of love, romance, or normal and/or regular sex ever entering my life, an isolated BBFS encounter isn't so bad.