Well said... The best thing you can do while being ripped off is get ripped off. The worst thing you can do is try to avoid getting ripped off and get either "whooped" by Bruno or get into some Danny Bonaducci-like (SP?) debacle that gets you in the paper. And if you had to provide any kind of verification info, that may come into play too.
Call the $$$ lost the "bail money" for getting out of the hell that may have ensued moments or days later.
I can think of a few tactics you can use to dramatically improve the odds that the ripoff artist, once revealed, leaves empty-handed and without you getting your ass whipped. But why go down that road? Those tactics, no matter how effective, are starting to make this whole thing a lot more like work and a lot less like fun.
I guess it depends on your needs too... Some people may like the gamble... The "risk" of each meeting is part of the fun. For me the best part of the hobby is experiencing the amazingly personal bond that's formed in such a short time when both people make themselves so vulnerable to each other, make so much skin available to each other to communicate with. And that goal is off to a rocky start if I'm seeing someone who I suspect may rip me off.
Hah! Thought that would get your attention. My question is how do you experienced hobbyists avoid rip-offs? We can't all limit ourselves to only people reviewed on TER. In my experience, when a provider (and this usually only happens on the road and with an unknown agency) asks for the money up front and counts it in front of you, this is very likely to be the prelude to a rip off. How to avoid? Perhaps count the money in front of her, put it in an envelope and back in my pocket until the session is over? And if she demands it call the session to an end and get her the hell out of your hotel room? Anyone find some practices that have worked? Or do you avoid this situation altogether by relying on referrals and known agencies?
You say we can't all limit ourselves to only people reviewed on TER. In some areas, that gives you quite a large choice of providers. And if you travel a lot, you certainly have new options available to you everywhere you go. By seeing providers that have favorable reviews or using only services that have good reputations, you can certainly minimize the risk of a bad experience. Holding the money until after the session is over may still not help you if her driver decides to help her collect the money for her troubles.
limit yourself to only people reviewed on TER. I confess I fail to see why 'we all can't' do that. Are you trying to hobby in Outer Mongolia or something?
BTW, I do agree that a provider that seems overly anxious about money is a bad sign. Virtually all of the ladies I've seen that I'd regard as 'top flight' don't even mention it, even if you don't produce it until the end of the session. Not sure what to do about it, though. Some of things you suggest sound kind of harsh to me. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and won't assume I'm being ripped off until I have hard evidence. The answer is really 'don't see those providers'.
Cheers!
would eventually run out of providers due to attrition...they retire, they move, they expire, they get de-listed, etc. Then, when we ran out, somebody would have to start trying the un-reviewed again. If you don't TOFTT once in a while, you are mooching off the risktakers. Before you start flaming me, I will concede that that is your right. But meanwhile, my reasoning is right, whether or not you all(collectively) admit it.
I don't like the idea of fighting with some thug that ripoff artists always seem to have somewhere in the background. My guess is that if she shows up, you will have to pay something to get her to leave peacefully.
Even if I won a fight with a thug in a public place, I would have lost. I am better off not having to deal with the type of situation as the one above or the after affects.
Well said... The best thing you can do while being ripped off is get ripped off. The worst thing you can do is try to avoid getting ripped off and get either "whooped" by Bruno or get into some Danny Bonaducci-like (SP?) debacle that gets you in the paper. And if you had to provide any kind of verification info, that may come into play too.
Call the $$$ lost the "bail money" for getting out of the hell that may have ensued moments or days later.
I can think of a few tactics you can use to dramatically improve the odds that the ripoff artist, once revealed, leaves empty-handed and without you getting your ass whipped. But why go down that road? Those tactics, no matter how effective, are starting to make this whole thing a lot more like work and a lot less like fun.
I guess it depends on your needs too... Some people may like the gamble... The "risk" of each meeting is part of the fun. For me the best part of the hobby is experiencing the amazingly personal bond that's formed in such a short time when both people make themselves so vulnerable to each other, make so much skin available to each other to communicate with. And that goal is off to a rocky start if I'm seeing someone who I suspect may rip me off.
I'm new to the hobby and to the boards, but just had an experience last night that seems related. I decided to visit an unreviewed provider based solely on her very attractice picture posted on eros. When I got there, she didn't look exactly like the woman I thought she'd be, but she did have an incredible body. She asked for the money right off, took and counted it, told me to "get more comfortable", and then she went into another room (taking the money with her).
When she got back, we got right down to business. Despite her large fee, she wanted to get me out of there as soon as possible. I thought that I had paid for an hour, but felt extremely pressured and rushed to "complete". When I told her so, she told me that I was lucky she was allowing me to do what we were doing in the first place, as she didn't have to do anything at all. My fear was that she was just going to end the session altogether, right then and there, leaving me high and dry. And what recourse would I have? She already had my money, and had stashed it in some secret place in another room. And for all I knew, she could have had some guy back there waiting to kick my ass if I protested.
The whole thing was a horrible experience, and it cost me a lot. I totally felt ripped off. I'm chalking it up to experience, but from now on I'm only going to visit very well-reviewed providers.
Like phunhog, I'd appreciate any insights from the more experienced.
Write a review to alert the rest of us. If you take one for the team, at least help your teammates.
You have to trust your instincts. When the car pulls over, you use you 'sense' of the person and their actions and decide whether to get in the car (or pick the person up). It's an act of trust that is the same when the provider lets you in the door. It's the same when the hobbiest puts the envelope down. It's true, no provider I have ever seen has counted the money out in front of me. Indeed, most don't ever open in until I am gone (unless I am missing some sleight of hand). So I would take the display of donations with much skepticism.
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is...why can't you limit yourselves to only people reviewed on TER or other review boards? I would think if I were laying out my hard earned cash for a fantasy evening, I would want as much assurance as possible that I was going to be satisfied. You know that saying, "If it looks too good to be true, it probably is". That unfortunately holds true for a lot of the ads out there, both for agencies and independants (or supposed independants) If you see positive reviews for a girl or agency, then at least you know you are dealing with someone who has a good rep to protect. It amazes me how many times I read a string of bad reviews for some B&S "indie" ...if these gentlemen had just done a little research, they could have seen the first bad review and saved themselves the trouble. It's just a little homework, but it goes a long way. I know, there is certainly merit to being the first to "take one for the team" but I have to say if it were my money being spent, I'd want at least that little bit of insurance.
--in the last three years, it's only happened to me once (it must have happened to me 5 times before that, mostly in DC--slow learner). Anyway, thanks for the insights gang. I think the best answer is the "trust your instincts one" or, as I like to say, "Trust your Spider Sense." Nuf said.
Only once in my hobbying career of 70 or so women have I strayed from the path of seeing only providers who have reviews on TER, or some other board somewhere in the world. (And, no, the one provider for whom I wrote the first TER review is not the lady I am referring to - she had reviews elsewhere in the world before I saw her.)
I guess that explains why I have never encoutered a rip-off or bait-and-switch situation. My one excursion into the unknown was with a provider whose visiting ad on eros struck me. After a few emails back and forth, I felt comfortable seeing her. To this day, I thank the gods of the hobby that I did. She is an absolutely charming and wonderful lady who, if she lived closer, would become a regular addiction. (Actually, I did see her again just last week, for the third time.)
We have discussed reviews, and she is adamant that she does not want any. Since I would rate her easily a 9/9 if I were to write one, I obviously have respected her wishes and her business decision.
So I suppose the safest course is to stick to reviewed providers, although I can attest that this could result in missing a truly wonderful experience. But when going outside the box, I guess that establishing a "relationship" through multiple emails and/or telephone calls will provide some level of assurance. I doubt that a true rip-off artist would spend the time to engage in such "foreplay."