I'll say it again...

Laser hair removal.

Buy a package deal, usually 6-9 treatments spaced 6-8 weeks apart. I had my sixth treatment about five weeks ago, and I have maybe 3 dozen hairs left on my entire nether region (everything, down through my crack).

A package deal for a men's brazilian should cost about $1,500. About $1,200 for women's Brazilian. And it's permanent. Never grows back.

As long as you're squeaky clean, women will run their tongues all the hell over the place.