You don't know anything about my business or how I handle it. But if you must know, you don't need to explain to me how to communicate with my regulars. They know who treats them well. I will stop "taking things personally" when you guys stop making them about me and have an actual conversation without making digs from the get go about perfectly reasonable things such as confirming something you're aware that you're unsure of.
This isn't about me. This is about something as simple as avoiding a miscommunication. If you know that there may be one, why not just say something? I do not understand the insistence that everyone go in hoping for the best when life could be so much easier. Even on this thread there are guys saying "they usually tell you about the new rates, but if they don't just assume". That's just too much guesswork in an industry so known for inconsistencies, if I'm the one spending hundreds. The whole "indoctrination" and "conflict of interest" thing is weird. This isn't a cult and this isn't some weird alternate universe where we would rather you just stay confused and not spend any money at all. We don't get off on things not going smoothly. There's no reason for this weird hobbyist vs provider attitude; it's no where near complicated enough to warrant it.Hey all,
Let's say I have been seeing this provider for a while at 350/hr but 6 months down the line she ups it by 100.
Then I book another appointment with her, I'm not sure am I supposed to follow the old rate that we established or am I supposed to update to the new price. She's never asked or mentioned (not sure if that's just being safe on the communication channel or not) and I'v never asked either.
In these cases which donation amount should you follow?
...pay the new amount. Some providers will grandfather the old rate, some won't. Providers I have seen have in every case let me know I could continue at the lower rate. Some will continue the lower rate for you when you book the usual amount of time you regularly booked. If you happen to want more time than usual the new rate would apply.
Many here will say ask her. That's up to you. If you think you have been seeing her often enough that she would be ok with that go ahead. That can backfire on you. Let how important it is to you to continue seeing her be your determining factor.
Consider doing this. Take the new amount to the session. As you prepare to leave you can say you were unsure about the amount and left the new rate. That gives her the chance to say that's ok or that's too much. Then you'd have your answer.
It is not YOUR job to keep on top of her price changes. I don't look at a gals website every time I see her. After I see her once, maybe twice, I never have a need to look at it again.
SHE should GF you in at the old rate, and if she doesn't, it is HER obligation when you contact her the next time to say "Hey, just want to let you know that my new rate is X."
Then its your call to decide if you want to pay that rate before you meet up. If no good for you just tell her in an email its not acceptable and move on to another girl. If she then wants to negotiate it with you, like many will, that's up to you.
But her pricing changes is on her, not you, to keep track of, and personally, I would NEVER see a gal who jacked up her rate on me. No need for me to ever see a gal that does not GF. Too many other gals out there that will appreciate you and keep you at the old rate.
While Mr. Dunphy seems very sure about his idea that it's not the buyers responsibility to know what he's buying, that is also a very good way to get yourself into some serious trouble. It is NEVER a good idea to short a girl, especially knowingly.
If, when you booked the appointment, she didn't offer to grandfather you in, the proper assumption would be that you weren't. Assuming she cares about her money, she knows who she is willing to see for less, and would have probably told you over email, though she might be saving it for in person (idk, some girls like the "surprise"). You can always just ask, and that will be more welcome than a surprise for both parties. I promise people have asked her worse questions just today 
Now, in regards to whether or not you SHOULD be grandfathered in, that's up to the girl. For some, it might be that you guys get along really well and she just likes seeing you. For others, it's a set amount of dates or amount of time or money spent. Others don't grandfather people in as a rule, because it can complicate things on an ungodly amount of levels. Trust. She might truly be busy and unwilling to accept any grandfathering at all, and that's nothing to do with you, so don't take it personally. All she's doing is running a business.
That's if the business has any sense at all and it cares about their clientele. And in this case, it would also be a common courtesy to do so.
Not sure why you would blame the client if "serious trouble" broke out between him and the girl. Whenever problems arise between me and my clients, I look internally to see what me or my staff could have done better. Your answer seems to be "blame the client."
And no, just putting her new prices on her website is not good enough. McDonalds may not be obligated to personally tell their loyal clients of a price change by email or text but I would hope you wouldn't throw these girls into the same boat as a company that has a dollar menu.
Is the girl communicating her new rate directly to a trusted and established patron, one that has lined her pocket book with hundreds and hundreds of dollars previously, such a horrible thing for the girl to endure? Really
Jack is correct, if there is an increase in her rates and she wants to charge her existing customers the new rate its HER responsibility to tell them of the increase, not his to keep up with her ads.
Once I start seeing a provider on a regular or even a semi regular basis I don't follow her ads or even contact her through her web site, so I most likely wouldn't even know that she had raised her rates unless she told me.
and please, lets not get overly dramatic about "being in serious trouble" with a hooker, just because you didn't keep up with her pricing since the last time you saw her. That statement is a bit over the top, wouldn't you agree?
Interesting in that I posted a very similar reply that TER didn't want to stay up.
Just another reason why this board needs to be closely monitored by guys who know what the real deal is or guys like the OP will continue to get slanted views of how this game is actually played.
Once I start seeing a provider on a regular or even a semi regular basis I don't follow her ads or even contact her through her web site, so I most likely wouldn't even know that she had raised her rates unless she told me.
and please, lets not get overly dramatic about "being in serious trouble" with a hooker, just because you didn't keep up with her pricing since the last time you saw her. That statement is a bit over the top, wouldn't you agree?
and yes, the same thing has happened to me. I have made posts trying to help out the newbies that for some reason were taken down, only to find that either you or Jack have posted something almost exactly the same that stayed "live".
I guess as long as at least one of us gets the word out, that's what's actually important. If it weren't for us I can only imagine what a warped idea of how this "hobby" really works some of the newbs would come away with.
At least "some of us" remember that this site is designed for us guys to share information to keep each other safe and that means keeping our money safe as well, and that TER is not simply an ad venue for hookers. Not that I begrudge the women for making a living, and this would be a very boring place without them, but the women are going to have a slight (or large) conflict of interest where it comes to some of these topics
Yes, there are dangerous posters, mostly hobbyists, but they are almost unanimously called out for there idiocy and roundly condemned by all.
But too many women that post here just happen to give advice that benefits there business model/pocket book with out any serious push back and some of them even get quite peeved when the newbs here get a different point of view.
A certain indoctrination can take place here from jump street, and if that isn't counter balanced properly, newbs will get the impression that there is only one correct method to handle a myriad of issues that may come there way.
Do I want those girls to stop posting here? Nope. There opinions are just as valid an anyone's else to be posted, and they are virtually never dangerous, but the newer guys here reading all their posts should look then with a healthy level of skepticism because of there vested interest.
Whether they ultimately follow my advice is of no concern to me as they are free to hobby anyway that makes them happy. But that they are getting different opinions to make an informed choice, that does matter to me.
You guys go on and on about how girls go bat shit crazy over a bad review, or negotiating, or needing money, or seeing other girls, and when I suggest that paying a girl less than her rate can lead to trouble, I'M the one who's way out in left field?
Please. Let's not pretend that we don't all know how people can be. This is the "Newbie" board, and I don't think that suggesting that they NOT communicate is a very good way to get people started.
Men on here answer all the time that it's best to go with the advertised rate or to just ask. I have seen people on this very thread say the exact same thing I did in previous posts. Just because I'm a provider doesn't mean that I can't suggest people make life as easy as possible too.
YOU may think she should notify you, but you know for a fact that businesses change their fees all the time without notifying every customer personally. Maybe she doesn't agree with you, or maybe she forgot to, or thought she did, or maybe she thought you'd assume you were grandfathered, or saw the new rate and know you weren't, who knows. My point is that you're dealing with another person. There are a number of reasons something wasn't conveyed properly. If you genuinely didn't know her rates changed, whatever. You could've checked, but obviously she also could have told you. Stuff happens and best case scenario you guys work it out. I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to troll a girls website to make sure they're up to date on every detail, but if you see something change and you aren't 100% on it, what in the world is so hard with asking her? There's no reason for any guesswork like everyone's suggesting he go through in this situation. The answer is an email away.
Even easier to do than post a thread on here about what you should do
-- Modified on 6/5/2014 2:56:41 PM
Your short answer was "an email away". No problem if that's all you had to say on the topic.
But the OP asked for thoughts, including yours.
You also are postulating that a monger not communicate? The reality is quite simple...from a dudes perspective. If I saw a gal at XXX and I go to see her tomorrow I will pay her what I paid on the first session. It is the gals responsibility to notify ME while setting up a repeat if her rates have changed.
It's apparent you don't subscribe to this position...that's fine. Other gals may very well agree with your tactics as well. However in close to 30 years on and off playing P4P I have found most of the gals get that it is their responsibility to let a repeat customer know if rates have changed.
It's the responsible thing to do. The OP has yet to explain how he knows of this new rate...but from the gist of his OP it would seem he saw it somewhere. And NOT from her.
Not to mention if he did further homework he might find that she has other rates out there. Yep...that happens a lot. And if he finds one that is $ 100 less than he paid before should he implement that without letting her know? At least till she claims he's shorted her...then shows her the ad for which he is exercising.
You can't have it both ways Char...life is just unfair that way!
Please. Let's not pretend that we don't all know how people can be. This is the "Newbie" board, and I don't think that suggesting that they NOT communicate is a very good way to get people started.
Men on here answer all the time that it's best to go with the advertised rate or to just ask. I have seen people on this very thread say the exact same thing I did in previous posts. Just because I'm a provider doesn't mean that I can't suggest people make life as easy as possible too.
YOU may think she should notify you, but you know for a fact that businesses change their fees all the time without notifying every customer personally. Maybe she doesn't agree with you, or maybe she forgot to, or thought she did, or maybe she thought you'd assume you were grandfathered, or saw the new rate and know you weren't, who knows. My point is that you're dealing with another person. There are a number of reasons something wasn't conveyed properly. If you genuinely didn't know her rates changed, whatever. You could've checked, but obviously she also could have told you. Stuff happens and best case scenario you guys work it out. I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to troll a girls website to make sure they're up to date on every detail, but if you see something change and you aren't 100% on it, what in the world is so hard with asking her? There's no reason for any guesswork like everyone's suggesting he go through in this situation. The answer is an email away.
Even easier to do than post a thread on here about what you should do
-- Modified on 6/5/2014 2:56:41 PM
When there is an ambiguity between a client and a business, the emphasis is on the business to claim the ambiguity as its fault and to NEVER blame the client.
You charge a minimum of $550 for the shortest session you offer correct? Ok, with that very high price (and I am not suggesting its not warranted) comes very high responsibilities. YOU need to assume MUCH more responsibility than your good, trustworthy, repeat client.
In my opinion Charlie, it is YOU that can't have it both ways. You can't claim all the benefits of running a business (the $550 min., the session ending at/near the end time agreed, the tips, the gifts, the dinners, etc) and not have to deal with the downside (i.e. clients who may run late, cancel, not be in tuned to your changing rate schedule, costs of clothes, etc.) of running a business.
In real world dating, there is a 50/50 responsibility for communication. In p4p, the onus is clearly on the provider. And if the guy didn't look at your website for the price increase that happened a few weeks back, you could inform him by email in a professional manner, later that night or the next day, and take full responsibility for the lack of communication, and write it off as a lesson learned. That's what professionals do
You don't know anything about my business or how I handle it. But if you must know, you don't need to explain to me how to communicate with my regulars. They know who treats them well. I will stop "taking things personally" when you guys stop making them about me and have an actual conversation without making digs from the get go about perfectly reasonable things such as confirming something you're aware that you're unsure of.
This isn't about me. This is about something as simple as avoiding a miscommunication. If you know that there may be one, why not just say something? I do not understand the insistence that everyone go in hoping for the best when life could be so much easier. Even on this thread there are guys saying "they usually tell you about the new rates, but if they don't just assume". That's just too much guesswork in an industry so known for inconsistencies, if I'm the one spending hundreds.
The whole "indoctrination" and "conflict of interest" thing is weird. This isn't a cult and this isn't some weird alternate universe where we would rather you just stay confused and not spend any money at all. We don't get off on things not going smoothly. There's no reason for this weird hobbyist vs provider attitude; it's no where near complicated enough to warrant it.
I suspect if any of them actually have read this they would agree with the dudes who are giving the OP the advice he was seeking.
Frankly I don't care how you run your business...but thanks again for posting here so that other newbies are aware that some of the gals tend to prefer being misleading with their way to market themselves.
This isn't about me. This is about something as simple as avoiding a miscommunication. If you know that there may be one, why not just say something? I do not understand the insistence that everyone go in hoping for the best when life could be so much easier. Even on this thread there are guys saying "they usually tell you about the new rates, but if they don't just assume". That's just too much guesswork in an industry so known for inconsistencies, if I'm the one spending hundreds.
The whole "indoctrination" and "conflict of interest" thing is weird. This isn't a cult and this isn't some weird alternate universe where we would rather you just stay confused and not spend any money at all. We don't get off on things not going smoothly. There's no reason for this weird hobbyist vs provider attitude; it's no where near complicated enough to warrant it.
"cult" thing or "some weird alternate universe." LOL. You and I both know these things go on in business, schools, organizations, religions, people to people in every day life, etc.
Its not because she is a provider that she doesn't get these concepts but because she is young and inexperienced OR she buries head to avoid them.
Her use of the word "we" is troubling too. Another sign of a lack of experience. There is no monolithic way providers or hobbyists view or act in p4p. I hope she doesn't claim to speak for other gals here for she would be sadly mistaken.
No sense continuing in this thread for me. She'll "get it" in time. Or she won't. For her sake, I hope she opens up her mind and listens to opposing views and people who have much more experience in life than she.
And how utterly creepy I think it is that you and some others feel the need to take such a combative stance over something so trivial and simple as a P4P relationship and whether or not someone should email to clarify it. It is not the words that I do not understand, it is you and those like you who choose to use them in such a way.
Why aren't my regulars here, CPA? They have lives. Out in the great big world and experiencing the whole thing without having the need to come back here and argue with someone on the internet about it. Imagine that. You are my smoke break entertainment on my day off. Thankfully you're also the minority, however outspoken.
Bravo to you guys though. You almost came up with some original jabs today
I am done with this thread. OP and other newbies, just remember that life is as easy as you make it, especially here. You can froth at the mouth over a hooker or you can just fuck her. It's all what you're looking for
-- Modified on 6/6/2014 2:23:28 PM
It should NOT be your responsibility to monitor her rate changes.
This can be a two edged sword however. Many gals run specials and post that on the ad board or their site. If you didn't see it you likely won't be offered it. No different than if you don't know when she may have raised her rates.
If she's sent you an email blast letting all her prior johns know of this change (either way)...then you have been put on notice.
I pay the rate that I started with her at. Until I get an email or other communication telling me that this is no longer the rate. Then I can decide if I want to see her at this new rate.
Some gals will grandfather an old rate...but honestly that seems a bit off to me. People change their rates all the time for other services. Simply they communicate this to their customers. However in this game...many gals are reluctant to let anyone know personally about a rate increase. They'll put it on some site or ad...but if a dude has seen her why is he still reading either of those items?
Let's say I have been seeing this provider for a while at 350/hr but 6 months down the line she ups it by 100.
Then I book another appointment with her, I'm not sure am I supposed to follow the old rate that we established or am I supposed to update to the new price. She's never asked or mentioned (not sure if that's just being safe on the communication channel or not) and I'v never asked either.
In these cases which donation amount should you follow?
As many of "us" have commented on it being the responsibility of the gal to notify him when he had inquired about another session with her.
The OP needn't take responsibility for uncovering a new rate. As I posted earlier what if he uncovered a special rate and simply shows up paying that?
So last he left it with the gal (presumably)...the rate he paid her (at the initial session) is the one I would pay her given her silence on the matter via email.
If in a subsequent email prior to meeting with her again she let's him know that her rate has changed, then I concur it is a decision he needs to make based on her new rate.
No need to complicate any of this.
That's fine.
I don't agree with it.
Hence the relevance IMO of the "how".
-- Modified on 6/6/2014 3:21:58 PM
You claim to not be able to read...yet here you are asking questions that you wouldn't have asked had you not read my posts.
Being a bit obtuse...aren't you?
The bet being if you already know you'll pay the new rate. If you want to be sure, ask her about it. By asking I'm betting you'll get the older rate at least the first time you book again. Now a $100 increase it a big jump but not unheard of.
Just my 5cents, my advice went up so I'm putting it out there! But my son definitely gets the grandfathered rate, he's a regular Prince Charming with plenty of swag!
I've had similar situations come up in the past.
Once, a provider I knew about but had never booked before appeared on BP at much less than her regular rate. I confirmed the rate when I booked. I saw her a couple of times at that rate, and then she confirmed with me when rates went up - in advance: "next time I need you to increase donation to XXX". Simple, drama-free.
Fairly recently, I saw a very Newbie provider who had been advertising at a particular rate for the month or so she had been in the biz. When I contacted her, I confirmed the rate I had seen, and she said "No, I increased my rate to X; you must have been looking at my old ad". A big jump in rates, too. I said "No thanks", and she agreed to honor her old rate. Funny thing, when I checked her ad for that day, there was no rate shown at all, as there had been in the past. Drama averted.
I guess what I am saying is that communicating and knowing the donation up front is the responsibility of both client and provider. Sometimes I confirm the rate, sometimes the provider confirms the rate with me. Not a one-way street. If I can't find any info on a provider's rates, I simply will not bother calling.
Just my .02
-- Modified on 6/6/2014 2:18:21 PM
What is not clear?Services as any other... so if the provider ups you need to accept this new pricelist! the same as prices of for ex. car repairs services.When the serviceman changes the prices-what price is valid?The old one or new one?I hope you know the new one ..and sexual provider is absolutelly the same!
If you see "JaneDoe" for 6 months, at xxx rate, then she posts a rate raise xxx+y...
Before you schedule your next appointment, simply send her an email.
"Hey this is titan55,
I saw you had a recently raised your rates.
Since I have been an established client, am I going to receive a grandfathered rate?"
Either she is going to
A.) (read between the lines, that you KNOW her rates have raised but you also are aware of grandfathering rates, which is par for course, for good clients) She will value you as a reliable customer and give you the grandfathered rate...
or
B.) she's going to go for more money.
Then, only you can decide if xxx+y is worth it to you.
Never "assume."