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Carolina, there are good reasons
PocketFisherman 17 Reviews 1212 reads
posted

to give the lady your ter handle.  There are also equally good reasons not to...
I usually do include my handle in an e-mail if I am contacting a ter lady.  I think it can help her search and get an idea of who I am.  I have also comunicated with ladies via the ter PM system, this helps them be assured that they are indeed "talking" to me.

Only once has it bitten me in the ass.  A (very well reviewed ter) lady that I saw indulged in some incredibly unsafe practices.  I was unable to write an honest review, or to warn the other hobbyists in her region because she had both my ter handle AND that all important "personal information".  I simply wasn't willing to risk outing her with the possibility that she could ruin my life.  End result, I didn't do a review at all.
A guy risks much in doing a negative review when the lady has both his personal information and his ter handle...

Mr. G.2365 reads

The question below regarding references (how long after visit is OK, how often is it fair to ask etc) makes me wonder if the TER White List is useful.

Specifically - will providers take listings there instead of a reference?  

And, when is it appropriate for a cloient to ask for a white list referral.

It might simplify things alot if it were adopted.


G

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DaveMogal652 reads

The white list don't always work. There are providers who give a date-check or a regular reference but will refuse to whitelist a guy. Some will whitelist a guy only if he sees them on a regular basis. If they guy sees another provider she takes him off the whitelist. I have seen other cases where a provider a will whitelist a guy and did not even see the guy.

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Oldest Fat Fart456 reads

who had given me a number of references to other providers. She said she would not give anyone a white list reference because she felt that somehow that would be real evidence that she had seen them.

She said that if people put up reviews about her, she could say they were fiction. But that if she gave the guys white list referrals those could be linked to her and evidence of her participation in the Hobby!

I didn't try to refute the logic because I wasn't asking her for a white list referral anyway.

OFF :-)


Unrelated "I am waiting for you" assage photo

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Puck544 reads

I thought a provider could only whitelist a guy who had reviewed her?

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filmat111045 reads


Sorry to be jumping all over this thread, but this  simple question raises a number of issues.

1) We don't know that everything mpduration has claimed, actually took place.  How would he know the details of these interactions between others?  But for the sake of argument, let's say they did...

2) White List referrals have nothing to do with reviews.  Just like ordinary referrals have nothing to do with reviews.  I could ask for a referral from an agency owner.  She probably doesn't keep track of which of her ladies I do or don't review, and I don't discuss reviews with her. If it's a top notch agency, they already have tons of stellar reviews.  She just knows I am a good customer.  Same with an independent.  If there is a well-known independent that I see whenever our schedules match, I can absolutely ask for a WL referral whether I have reviewed her or not.

3) As mpduration implies, a White List referral may not even mean the provider has actually seen me.  There is no check (nor should there be).  Say I am the type of hobbyist who is "well known" on the boards, who makes a point of letting you know that they are well known, who starts philosophical threads to show off their persona, who always has a comment or a humorous link. The sort who would treat the White List like a popularity contest.  A provider who gets a White List request from someone like that, may feel pressured.  If she pisses off a well known poster, maybe her business will suffer.  I don't know that this has happened, only that it could.

I'd rather not see this potentially useful mechanism get a bad reputation - that's why I have gotten involved in this thread.  And it's a holiday afternoon. :-)


filmat11




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DaveMogal1365 reads

I have seen it happen with 1) and 3) on your list. Later on the provider got pissed and removed the guy from her list once she got tired of playing politics.

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lv2daty672 reads

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GaGambler699 reads

And since I have no reviews, I obviously dod not review her. I have no idea why she whitelisted me, she is an active member of TER, maybe I'll PM her and ask.

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lv2daty866 reads

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lv2daty457 reads

I don't see any reason for anyone to be able to view them except for providers.  That includes the hobbyist that is whitelisted.

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filmat11316 reads

We have discussed this in another thread, but just to reiterate, the White List is not a popularity contest.  There are no ratings, no descriptions of what took place, no gold stars or notches on your d*ick (ouch!).  It is just a reference.

But if I am going to use it as a referral mechanism, I need to be able to see myself that what I think is there really is there.

I agree with you that other hobbyists don't need to see it and I have no idea if they can.  I have never tried to look at anyone's White List but my own.  Must be because I couldn't care less how many people you guys f*ck. ;-)


filmat11


-- Modified on 10/8/2007 1:05:23 PM

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lv2daty390 reads

just that i know i have seen them.  if im being screened, i welcome the provider to contact anyone i have seen.  of course when giving references, you are going to give the ones that will give you a great reference.  if you are a good guy, they all will say good about you.

of course the white list is NOT supposed to be a popularity contest, but i've heard too many guys talk about it like that to think it doesn't exist.



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little phil621 reads

As a practical matter, I think you should be able to see your own (white list that is), so that you can use the ladies that "like you" as references.  Hopefully, most guys are that smart, but let's face it...DO NOT DRINK labels on bleach wouldn't exist if everybody was smart.

Some guys do see damn near everything as a contest.  There's a listing of top 10 posters, guys with the most reviews, etc. and somebody is going to see how many times that they can get white listed.  Personally, so long as I don't need to jump through hoops to see a lady, I'm a happy guy.

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CaraWhispers591 reads

I'm always happy to accept whielisted gents but I do contact a lady or two on that list.  There are some ladies that whitelist everyone that reviews them without even knowing who the guy is.  I have to know that the lady did indeed see you and would happily see you again.

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filmat11796 reads


mpduration's point is well taken - the White List is not always used as intended.  Sometimes people are capricious, or petty, or do things because they feel pressured.  But that's no reason to not use the mechanism.  

Think of the White List as a standing reference.  You've had business colleagues who've said, sincerely, "You can give my name as a reference anytime."  That's all this is.  It is intended to make the typical process of asking for references, each time you want to see a new provider, easier and faster.

Providers can make their own choices about what they will accept, but I don't see why it's any different than a one-time reference that I might provide.  And if the person who has White Listed me changes her mind, and no longer wants to give a standing reference for me, she can remove it, right?  No problem, I won't be offended.

It's appropriate to ask for a White List referral when you have a good business relationship with a provider or agency that you both expect to continue.  When you are pretty sure she isn't offended that you are seeing someone else this week, because she knows you'll be back to see her in a few weeks.  These are the same people that you would ask for a one-time reference, but you are hopefully going to cut down the number of times they have to answer emails/phone calls on your behalf.  

Simple, right?


filmat11



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Lusty_Lolita431 reads

BUT How long is the Whitelist GOOD for?
Someone could have been put ON the whitelist a few years ago, but life took them by surprise they fell off the face of the planet, or whatever. NOW they are back, and say...Im Whitelisted. Is that whitelist still good? If not, how long would he BE on the whitelist if he doesn't see too many providers in any extended amount of time?
(taking mental notes here) hehe
~DI~

Related Link: http://massagebydiana.com

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filmat11772 reads

Well, this is obvious, but how long you consider it good for is up to you.  You can see the "Date Submitted" on the White List.  In my view, as a client, all the White List says is - I am who I say I am, I'm not LE or a loony, I'm clean and respectful, I keep my appointments and I pay.  

Let's say those things were true a year ago, but I chose to spend my money on other things for a while.  Now I am back to hobbying. Do you think they are less true?  Up to you.


filmat11





-- Modified on 10/8/2007 12:55:08 PM

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Mr. G.268 reads

"In my view, as a client, all the While List says is - I am who I say I am, I'm not LE or a loony, I'm clean and respectful, I keep my appointments and I pay."

That is PRECISELY the purpose the whitelist should serve.   And if used that way should work like a charm.  I have failed to schedule with (and probably have lost out bigtime y not seeing) many a fine provider by not giving out totally irrelevant details about my employer and main line to my office etc....etc.   I fully support the principles of screening but only when its logical.

Well done Filmat!

G

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ShakingtheSheets934 reads

Since I joined TER a few years ago, not one provider has asked me for my TER handle. Nor have I walked out of a session and said "By the way, you were just fucked (litterally of course, not figuratively; I am a professional after all) by Hardy5456. Please white list me." So I think the white list is a complete waste. They have no idea who I am because it has never come up. Period.

A reference from another provider is okay, but if you use a high volume provider as a reference, they wouldnt know you from their next "Honey, Sweetie or Baby" In this case a provider reference can be a joke, really offering nothing to the lady who requested it.

The only way you are REALLY going to give comfort to a provider is AFTER the session is over. Then they will know you were a legitimate hobbyist, who respected all boundaries and limits. Until then, I just dont believe a provider has complete comfort from a provider reference or a white list reference.  



-- Modified on 10/8/2007 12:19:35 PM

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Sexy Carolina329 reads

I might have alot of reviews.....I was soo horny when I first started....but I remember...and I answer all emails for refs...I am not threatened by any other woman..I know that the gentlemen I meet do come back..and why they do..because I am SEXY!! And I love to play!

If for some reason the info given to the provider is not complete..I ask for more info...since I tour..what city did we meet?
..etc, etc, etc.

I look at the whole reference process as a safety net..to keep us all safe and happy. Who you play with is your own business. And when I respond to a ref..it is brief..Yes I saw him.....AND He was a Gentleman. Have fun.

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CiaraPhx258 reads

The White List might have been created with good intentions, but anyone could say they are the person who is white-listed and could actually match a description. I never ask for a TER handle. It is helpful information if a lady matches his ID to his handle, but it's pointless (other than meeting someone who has caught your interest on the board).

I want to make sure Mr. Winky (Aka: Mr. Whiteshirt) is really who he says he is. Screening is not always proof of safety, but if I'm calling someone who has just seen him with the same information he's giving to me and fits the description, plus works at the correct place I call, then it's reasonable to say "he's the correct person." We always take risks in this occupation, but I'd like to keep mine low. Plus, the list is more of an ego issue not a safety issue.

Thank you!  And now onto our scheduled programming.

Hugs,
Ciara

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Sexy Carolina174 reads

always give a ref no matter how long ago or how many refs he needs.
I added a few fellas to the white list...I would add someone if he asked me.
Here is the problem in my opinion.

Many guys do not want to give their ter handle. I think they might want to keep it a secret for some reason???

So then..what good is the White List...if you don't get on the list? I have never received an email that suggests I look at his White List.

Refs work for me AND My SEXY intuition.

If The White List is to be a success we would ALL need to contribute/participate.

I certainly could/would White List A Few MORE Good Men!!

-- Modified on 10/8/2007 12:46:12 PM

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PocketFisherman1213 reads

to give the lady your ter handle.  There are also equally good reasons not to...
I usually do include my handle in an e-mail if I am contacting a ter lady.  I think it can help her search and get an idea of who I am.  I have also comunicated with ladies via the ter PM system, this helps them be assured that they are indeed "talking" to me.

Only once has it bitten me in the ass.  A (very well reviewed ter) lady that I saw indulged in some incredibly unsafe practices.  I was unable to write an honest review, or to warn the other hobbyists in her region because she had both my ter handle AND that all important "personal information".  I simply wasn't willing to risk outing her with the possibility that she could ruin my life.  End result, I didn't do a review at all.
A guy risks much in doing a negative review when the lady has both his personal information and his ter handle...

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VegasRaven702359 reads

I wish I could get it to work for me. I have tried several times to add gents I have seen to that white list and I can figure it out no matter how hard I try. I have quite a few I would recommend to others to see them with no prob. Romantic sensual and an all around great kinda guy. But like I said I can't figure out how to add them to it sadly.

Related Link: http://shadowraven702.com

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