Than the morons you are complaining about.
Seen many posts on dissatisfied hobbyist and it makes me shake my head. The attitude displayed in the posts really speak for themselves. A provider is a mirrored reflection of YOUR attitude. If you go in with an open mind and heart, show genuine interest in them as a person, and not just some object, your experience will be mirrored back and magnified 10x.
Than the morons you are complaining about.
to each their own my friend....
I was experiencing textnickel difficulties!... or was excommunicated.
I didn't know this site was so Religious ... Bwahhhhhahaha
-- Modified on 5/30/2014 10:00:37 AM
now I will agree that if you treat a provider with respect and if she is comfortable with you then things will go better - and if you present yourself with respect and show up well groomed and clean and present yourself well things will go better -
but the realities are far more complex than that -
providers are not a reflection of the state of your soul lol - they are sex workers. They take your money and give you a service. What service(s) they give you depends to some degree on your YMMV factors but also on their mood, how worn out they are from their days work or their travels, whether they can find something to like about you or not etc, and frankly in some cases, how little they think they have to work to send you away happy enough.
like any other workers, some take pride in their quality of work, and some do not as much. Like any other workers some have better days and worse days. And they have real lives that even if they do not show them to you are influencing how they feel and how they work from day to day.
One thing that does not serve you well in this sport is to romanticize it - at some point that will make you a problem client - or set you up to be taken advantage of, or both.....
It is totally romanticized BS to believe that the quality of service you receive is some sort of existential reflection of your own reality
If a man comes in with a bad attitude, I am immediately on red-flag status.
I will not be as relaxed, confidant, or "care-free" with the sex free-for-all.
(Keeping in mind, most people who aren't "happy" and have "problems" on the fore-front, they can quickly, and most often escalate.)
Sometimes simply, if a man sets the mood poorly, that is his fault, not mine.
I will do my best to "fix it" however, with a lot of guys, I can't fix what I didn't break.
It doesn't matter what happened before I came, on my end...
I find my WOOSAH, exhale, inhale, exhale, paste on that Red-carpet-worthy smile, and give him the Brad-Pitt-treatment. (aka Fake-it-til-you-make-it.)
Barring physical exhaustion (which case, yes, I would cancel. I know my "performance" would be off, there-for robbing a client of what he is paying for.)
Simply put, women are not just mirrors,
we are magnifiers & multipliers.
If you give us a smile, we'll give you a reason to smile;
If you give us a bit of crap, prepare for a load of shit!
I have always heard, men are logical thinking, women are emotional...
So if we (providers) come in sensing that Mr. Client has his panties in a wad, yeah, it isn't going to be all shits & giggles... And of course, it MUST be the hookers fault, right? lol
This post ROCKS!
xoxo,
Steph
Did you not read my post before you reacted to it? for I emphasized that *within limits* how the gent acts and treats the provider conditions the session and mentioned the YMMV factors -
however what your post is totally ignoring is that the client might be the nicest most respectful and charming guy in the world and without heavy expectations as well - and your or another providers real life - your moods, your health, your stresses, your fatigue level, etc - can still result in a situation where this is not rewarded -
you and other providers are not machines - and you are not perfect
if you are claiming otherwise as seems to be the case in your post, I call BS 
Obviously NOT perfection, now would I ever claim to be so.
Matter of fact, I KNOW I'm damaged. LOL
I normally undersell myself, noone likes a conceited bitch.
HOWEVER,
perhaps,...
If I may be so bold as to make this claim....
I believe I have a couple of distinct advantages;
One considering that my employment history also includes jobs that have college accredited training courses as prerequisites.
(I was the star pupil in that course, which led to a very prompt promotion... )
Maybe that's not some "block of red kryptonite," however, it gave me valuable tools;
how to deal with people, how to communicate properly (all while using manners, gasp!),
how to de-escalate customers (which trust me, helped hone my already existent skill of "compartmentalization"...)
Which brings me to two: Speaking of compartmentalization, my life has forced me into also learning detachment as a very useful coping skill, i.e., see: damaged. lol
Add in to that 6 years experience in adult clubs, dealing with drunks, lechers, businessmen, on up & down... (as though preforming all the roles required there go noted as well; dancer, shrink, athlete, ho-wrangler... yes, that is a skill.... stop laughing...)
Seriously, some of us take our hooking quite... seriously.
For me personally/professionally, I do (as I can not vouch for anyone other than myself, but I get a general idea from other ladies, this is the proper attitude...)
One day, before a call, I had an incident;
I live in the 'burbs, usually pretty tame. An older crackhead woman started living in my neighborhood.
Long story short, my kid walked out my house with the money out of my wallet... and it ended up in the crackheads hands.
I went down there to confront her.
It pretty much ended up with her trying to jump on me... Yes, a fight.
Someone called the police...
It was A MESS!
Had I got hit? Yes.
Was I mad & boiling? Yes.
Did the cops "make it better"? No.
Did I have an appointment to go to? Yes.
Was my time frame messed up? Yes.
Was I going to be late? Potentially.
Was I a wreck? ... Oh no! What oh ever shall I do?
Pull up your boot-straps and get it together.
On your Mark, get ready, set,.... go!
"You're free to go Ma'M." VROOM!
Boot-straps, b*tches.
So onto my appointment, a very breathy & brief comical explanation, then plastered on Hollywood smile, laugh about how crazy life is, apologize for the tardiness, let the strip tease begin... And keep it moving.
I am not perfect, by any length of means, but I promise you this, if a particular occasion/day is bad enough to for me to "not be able to PERFORM" then why would I even keep an appointment in such a state?
Now Granted,
I also am VERY low volume.
I will live with a roof over my head without providing.
I do not live in a hotel.
And I don't have to deal with 3, 5, or 8 guys a day to "maintain."
(Not knocking you ladies down, I'd understand if ya'll would be tired & grumpy, shoot, I would be, too!!)
But that is not my life-style, so I can only speak for myself.
Hobbying is my butter, not my bread.
I am lucky to have a few (and that is VERY lucky) a week, so I make sure they count.
I like to keep my Ho-Rep up. LOL
I love being a provider, I love sex, and I want to make sure I am "worth it."
I will give it my 110% each time, whether I feel up to it or not..
Fake-it-til-you-make-it.
That's what I can promise.
Give me a 3-5% gap for the crap that is beyond my control.
95% of the time I am going to be the one who is NOT: Ill, grumpy, unpleasant, tired, etc.
^That is Mr. Client killing the buzz-
However, most of the time Mr. Client isn't even self-aware enough to know when they "do shit" that in effect is the action/behavior = the variable that tips the scales in a sour way.
One again, customer skills to the rescue, compartmentalize, attempt to de-escalate, divide, conquer, smile, suck, fuck, shut up, leave LOL rinse repeat infinity ad nasueum.... :P
Hell, I won't let ANYONE slut-shame me either, I love to fuck, so when I get there...
Most of the time, as long as his pecker stands up & I get to play with it, I'm pretty happy just to be there and.... get a nice envelope. LOL
Why shouldn't I be happy?
It's not more "is the glass half full or half empty," it's what's in the glass.
And if it's real bad, which is a rarity because any attitude in emails leads to immediate cancellation, I kick 'em out - money in hand and blue balls in pants.
If they're indifferent, don't communicate or show they're excited, etc. I'm not a good enough provider to not lose confidence and start snowballing into a mediocre performance.
When it comes to me, he's got a point. I need stimulation, compliments on my body, noises or different breathing when something feels good, and to be encouraged throughout. Most do this, but some do not. Those who do not, well, I don't do well.
thing to deal with is the guy who is totally deadpan - does not communicate, does not signal anything....
hey I'm no professional but I'm not without experience and I can say that a woman who does not give you any kind of feedback at all is a miserable experience -
what you describe is no defect or shortcoming - you're just being honest, being real -
and I' feel you
I have to agree with MK. These women are human, not automatons, and just like the rest of us they are subject to good days and bad days. Who the fuck knows what is going on in their heads, or in their personal lives, at any given moment. Quite frankly, I don't understand how the good ones are able to create the erotic illusion on such a consistent basis, given all the variables involved. As for your experience being exponentially amplified by being courteous and polite, all I can say is you must be one charming motherfucker. Finally, this is an anonymous fuck board, so take most of what you read with a ton (not a grain) of salt.
Because you have uncanny insight. You actually nailed it without coming across as a dbag.
I work for a living too - ultimately the type of work you do matters only in degrees - there are commonalities.....
Probably not advised for your average BP girl or SW, but your GFE ones will respond. Just need to understand where reality ends and role playing begins and visa versa
The ones with ten year old pics depicting 40 lbs ago? Those GFE "ones?"
How come I see cum on her chin instead? That should be the facial hair I'm trying to pluck. I thought she's a mirrored reflection of me? I want my money back!
I don't know how many SPOTY points he's going to lose for that one, but it's going to be a lot.
Being right loses a lot of SPOTY points, but correcting another moron and being correct about it, loses even more.
Now all I need is for Fungus to appear and to say something predictably stupid. lol
Open mind and heart?
I'm looking for want to fuck and suck
not always. Even if your attitude is 100% "on", it takes two to tango and she might be "off" a bit on a particular day. Unpredictable things like mutual attraction and "chemistry" can also contribute to the difference between a great and a merely nice date.
Where you are 100% correct about your attitude making all of the difference is when we accept the fact that sometimes poor choices, circumstances and unpredictable factors mean a date isn't perfect or up to our expectations. Then we deal with it like men and refrain from writing whiny and bitchy posts about it, or writing "retaliation" reviews.
Just my .0
Reflections and shadows are only two-dimensional. If the provider is a 2-D manifestation of the hobbyist...? Isn't that rather unfortunate? Never meeting anther person and experiencing their perception, the hobbyist only finds a flat reflection of himself?
Like Narcissus and Echo.
Maybe all our perceptions are flat versions of the observer (sense-data ordered in accord with our assumptions), then what 2-D version of the provider does the hobbyist become?
Seeing the client in such a limited way? Not good. And I don't thing that's really how it works out.
Of course there's always the dimension of time. I suppose that fleshes things out somewhat.
Just tossing a spencer over the fence, see what jumps out.
Go take a look at Doctor Daves "I've fallen for a hooker and I cant get up" thread. Problem is the mangina's go in to a fk session with an open heart and wide open wallet and come out with just an empty wallet. See what your "open heart" will do for him in a few weeks/months.
Then, like little 14 year old school boy crushes, they get all stoked up about a girl that looks in his direction in p4p. But little Mary wasn't getting $$$$ an hour back in 8th grade. She was looking b/c she had a crush too.
So knock it off with this "open heart" bullshit and this absurd "mirrors" and "reflection" wussy crap. Its a business transaction to get my nut.
Anything more than that just sets up disappointment and rejection for the softer little boys around here
If it's just a business transaction to get your nut, why not save your money, get on the internet, and beat it to your hearts content. Doesn't sound like good business to pay this kind of money for something you're perfectly capable of doing on your own. You're spot on with the Dr. Phil crap and having crushes or falling in love with someone who has sex with you for money. But that's simply a matter of perspective, as well as understanding and accepting the "romance" is over as soon as you walk out the door and the next client walks in. In my very amateurish and uneducated opinion, there is definitely an emotional/psychological component to these trysts for all of the gents. Be it attraction, curiosity, emptiness, euphoria, expectation, frustration, fulfillment, gratification, jubilation, lust, pleasure, rage, superiority, etc, there is more to it than simply getting your nut. And it's something you are getting by paying a provider. It doesn't make you a "mangina," it simply makes you a human being
You inserted that word in there and changed the meaning of what I was saying. If it was as you said I said, you would be correct, I would j.o. all day and save a bundle.
The point was, and I thought it was fairly clear, is that when guys walk in with an "open heart", they are no longer looking at it as a financial arrrangement ONLY. They are "open to love" and feelings, so to speak. Not a good thing in p4p, imo. Thats what leads to "emotions" and those emotions will lead to hurt feelings as 99.9% of the time their feelings will not be returned in similar fashion from the gal.
Having a business relationship/transaction mindset only with the girl works for me. That would be/has been my advice to others. If the girl shows a romantic interest in the guy, then all bets are off as the girl made the decision to seek something other than a biz arrangement.
I have been in numerous, numerous pm's/emails with guys telling me they got to close to a girl, cyber stalked her, got mad at the girl etc etc etc. I always tell them to run and cut their losses asap at that point. Do they ever listen? No. They are in too deep before they confide that to me.
-- Modified on 5/30/2014 4:06:57 PM
We're essentially on the same page, i.e, this is TER, not match.com. While it's definitely a business transaction, for me personally, it's more than getting my nut off. With the money I'm paying, for the 3-4 hours I'm with the provider I'm going to wallow in the entire fantasy/illusion she creates, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. But I know it's just a fantasy, and while the memories may linger (if it was a good time what the fuck is wrong with that), it's certainly not love or any deep-seated emotional attachment. That's why I say it's all a matter of having the proper perspective.
I got a nice hotel room for a week, rented a car--a new Impala-- and had a good time. I really liked the hotel I chose. Better than average breakfast buffet, clean room with all necessary amenities, and actually a great social scene for folks like me. I loved the car, too! Nice drive for the area, great mileage, and not a bad rate.
I wasn't very excited about going on this trip. But when I booked the room with a popular hotel chain, I kept an open heart. Thought maybe the ordeal could turn out to be fun. Turned out I really loved the hotel
Thought the car rental could be a hassle, and I wasn't up for anything adventurish with a broken down vehicle, but I went in with an open heart and it turned out to be very comfortable.
Had a wonderful time. Didn't do any hobbyish excursions. Just had a good old-fashioned, middleclass good time. I loved it.
Loved it all. But, I don't want to move up there and take up permanent residence in that hotel. Didn't want to buy the car, drive it down to CA and keep it. Probably won't ever visit the area again. Loved it, loved it, loved it!
So...going in with an open heart was a good attack on the this journey. Had a good time, glad it's over.
Maybe all the comfort I found was only a reflection of my open-hearted attitude towards the trip. Still thought about the people I met and the woodsy atmosphere up there on the plane. So, going in with an open heart and letting myself fall in love with the suite and the car worked for me.
In a few days I'll visit a provider I've never been with. Could be a big disappointment. But I'm going in with an open heart and hope to fall in love with her. I love falling in love with every lady I visit!
I know that the hotel only cared about the money I spent on staying there. I know that the car rental place didn't give a damn if the Impala suited my purpose; they just wanted the money. Only business transactions. Who cares if I loved the room, the car, any of it? A lot of more worldly, more jaded, more hardheaded guys laugh their asses off at the visit I enjoyed so much, at the provincial town that I fell in love with, with my whole way of viewing the trip. Gee, whiz, maybe I'd better forget all the good times I had up there and concentrate on the expense of all those business transactions. That's really all they were. Just people after my money.
But I bet I continue my way through this wilderness with an open heart. I'm just a hopeless romantic. Someday I'll really regret having had a good time, they'd tell me. Boy I've learn my lesson someday!
The point is, who besides you cares how you feel? And why concern yourself with your feelings? Feeling is what it's about, not fretting about liking the feelings too much. Fall in love with all the ladies. It'll make the experience a lot more fun
God forbid we should all be human.
Who here is talking about not being "human"? What a crock of shit. If one of your johns falls in love with you, and hammers you with texts/emails/pm's and phone calls, tell us all how understanding and "human" you would be and for how long. You would cut him off and run away from him, right?
That's the advice I would give you b/c to do anything else would be leading him on, using him or both. The gals that have experience here know what I am saying. They DONT want clients falling for them.
If you have been around here long enough you would see how many girls bitch about "clingy" clients and what they have to do to shed themselves of that problem. It jeopardizes their cash flow with what would otherwise be a great client and puts them in a bad spot where they have to hurt someone's feelings.
Yes, the whole "can't we be human" canard will gather it's share of "likes," but that's for show and to feel morally superior on an internet chat site. The psychology of that is well established. But the reality, outside of the public's eye, is MUCH different.
Too many gals here know the truth. As soon as their john acts "human", tells the girl he has "feelings", most girls run like hell. I don't blame them for doing so, in fact I think it's the right thing to do, but lets not bullshit each other like it doesn't happen on a day in and day out basis in p4p.
-- Modified on 5/30/2014 10:27:12 PM
Your grand kids are not here.
Is that if you act like the provider is a person and treat her well and with respect, that attitude will be returned to you.
I'm sure providers see plenty of jerks. A respectful gentleman acting like a real person meeting another real person is probably a breath of fresh air sometimes, and that gentleman may get special treatment. As opposed to "some of that nice lean pastrami, without too much fat".
Whenever I left an appointment feeling any less of a person than I felt before I went in - next!
I hate an experience where I feel going out like I'm #834. I have to believe that providers are similar and don't want to be treated as "Oh, yeah. You're the one with the skinny ass. Roll over and get on your knees, I'm going to do doggy to you." Etc.
I know I'm a mangina, and I'm probably off base here, but I would think that a provider wants to be treated as a person, just as I do. Sure, once the hour or two is up, it's out the door, but BCD, it should be a person to a person with an objective in mind (getting your nut off), but two people having fun together, regardless.
Basically what I was saying, said much simpler! Thank you!
I think all of life is a mirrored reflection of you. You attract what you put out.
This is America (on a free board) and you're allowed to post the equivalent of a provider anonymous troll. That gets 20-something "likes" from similarly minded people....
Imagine what it'd be like with a "dislike" button... Lol.
After I posted to this thread yesterday, I couldn't post anymore messages.
Imagine what it'd be like with a "dislike" button... Lol.
I think the OP's message was sweet and sincere, than again the OP could have been talking about masturbating to their own reflection in the mirror. Either way, I can't see how either of those things are aligned with seeing escorts.
I will say, I've had several sessions during a tour and then several locals that do this for fun and extra cash. I will have to say without a doubt that the locals, being their only appointment for the day after work (their day job) has been immensely more enjoyable...