Not sure at what point someone graduates out of the newbie forum but since this is kinda a newbie question / topic I figured I'd put it here....

So for the first time I was declined....but she let me down easy.  I just got the, "it's me...not you" excuse...lol.  I have references and am verified and all was going well with making an appointment when all of a sudden I got an email saying that after verifying me and doing some research she didn't think we would be a good fit for eachother but here is a recommendation for a friend of hers!  Granted she is a top (very top "single digit" TER rated) provider so I suppose she has a rating to protect as well as can be selective, but nonetheless, I was surprised.  Do you think the girls I've seen put her off?  Maybe she didn't like the reviews I've written?  Could a reference of mine not ok'd me (even if they ok'd me on P411, Datecheck and Whitelisted me here)?  I told her no worries, asked if she wouldn't mind helping me understand why but no response.  Maybe I'm overthinking it.  I'll go and be depressed now....I've been rejected by a provider....  .  Ok, I'm over it...thanks for asking...

This every happen to anyone?  Providers?  Ever decline anyone?

my best advice..dont take it to heart..it happens to the best of us..i think i know who you mean..i know her well..she and a lot of the 'top 100' and high-end ladies are very selective..you have an impressive record so far..even a threesome..she and a few others are extremely selective..do not overthink this and wonder why she said no..they are very meticulous in their research and if they have the slightest doubt about anyone..they certainly have the right to say no..these are not backpage girls that see just anybody..these are elite providers who only select the cream of the crop..they have that right..they have earned it..

It is what it is. A lady can do what she likes when she likes. Some ladies are not in this solely for the $, so they may seek a genuine connection or feeling before seeing someone. Something has put her off and rather than go along with the appointment and have a terrible experience for either you or her, she declined. Respect that and move on. Posting and putting the situation on blast is not a positive move either.

In my business and in life, my motto is this: If you do something to piss me off, I'm not gonna sick your duck. Simple as that. At any point when communicating prior to the appointment, if something doesn't sound right or fit with me, I'll decline. I'd rather be broke than compromise what I believe or what am comfortable with.

If the hobby gets too stressful for you, take a break. Shouldn't be taking anything too personally and getting wrapped up with feelings of rejection, it's just sex.  

It's just about impossible. However, with that being said, I'll take a guess. Lets start with 11 reviews in less than 3 months. Hey, you have the right to see as many providers as you like.
It just appears like you're trying to see as many providers as possible. The provider in question may want repeat clients and it looks like you're more into variety.

Next while you don't appear to be a low scorer, you're seeing top rated providers but haven't given any 10/10 scores, which as you know is the holy grail of review scores.Since I've got no idea who this provider is, maybe she's got a load of 10/10 scores and assumes since you've never given that score out, she doesn't want to risk a lower score.

You made the comment about references, and yes you're right, maybe a reference said something that just rubbed this lady the wrong way.

Finally, maybe she read your reviews and didn't like the fact you don't break up your reviews with paragraphs. Do us old guys a favor, use paragraphs when writing reviews.

Now go call another provider and stop over thinking. Stay thursty.

she has the right to decline any date she chooses. I wouldn't spend much time thinking about it. Just move on and give her recommendation a try.

Thanks for everyone's replies! Not stressed about it at all. Just thought it was an interesting occurence and wanted to see if it had happened to anyone else. I do actually see how the girl she referred me to could be a better fit but we're talking subtleties. I do give her credit. I think she is probably very attuned to who she really clicks with.  Frankly, good for her! As a top provider she has earned the right to be ultra selective and choose to meet or to refer out. Actually quite refreshing on some level.  I choose anytime I make a date with a provider who I want to meet with and who I don't so I get it.  But alas, who knows, I'm chasing my first 10/10 and she could have been it .

-- Modified on 5/19/2012 4:59:02 PM

that I have recognized them from my civilian life...

It could be anything from you were too big below, you were dirty, you were too pushy, took forever, etc. It could even be your race or weight in some cases...yes, some providers are a bit selective. Whatever the reason, move on as I doubt you would want a date with someone who did not want to see you to begin with. You will lose money and get subpar service...save your money.

END OF MESSAGE

But, it makes perfect sense.  If it's someone you have known in your personal life, and you do not want him to know about your private life, that's a very good reason to turn him down.  Hopefully, he did not recognize you.....

Swim

...I started answering ads before actually providing officially and a gent sent me a face pic amongst other info about him and it was a college friend O_O.  I told him I had to pass and he of course asked why and I replied "I know you"......of course he sent about 20 emails freaking out and also trying to get me to reveal myself and I said "don't worry we share a lot of close friends so I can't see you" and that was finally the end of that.

-- Modified on 5/20/2012 2:06:26 AM

if it was Great Uncle Ed or some distant realtively unknown relative asking for a date!!YIKES!!!!

LOL I've heard of this happening.

Quote:

I didn't get the feeling that he was concerned because he wants to see her specifically that much, he just wanted to know the why. He has moved on about seeing her, but was hoping to get the specific reason she declined him. If it's something he did with another provider or something personal he may be able to correct it in the future. Completely understandable. The problem with posting that question here is that none of us have a fucking clue, all we can do is guess. Only the provider knows why and that's why he asked her.

once wrote a story about this very occurence.. Can you imagine???? YIKES!!!!!!!

Thank you HC....you got it...

I saw her friend and had an amazing time.  I'm pretty sure I know why the original provider declined my appointment and it wasn't for a negative reason after all.  I actually told the provider I saw that her friend declined to see me and her response was, "good!...I get to keep you for myself then!" lol...  All is well...