when trying to set up a date, is it *nearly certain* that she has zero interest? Which is fine--no worries. Lots and lots of lovely ladies.

Or, could it be that she is swamped with email, booked that day, or? If so, a short email like "next time, babe" or "No lo can do lo" or something would certainly be appreciated.

Several times, I have received an email the day I originally inquired about, saying, effectively. "Sorry. So, what's up?" By then, I have other plans, and not necessarily with someone else--just life goes on.

I always inquire about multi-hour meetings, too.

Just trying to understand. Thoughts?

and then try once more and wait 24 hours, then move on.

There are dozens of reasons for why a gal may not get back to you, and most will have to do with her.

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You should tell them 'what's up' - where, when, for how long you would like to meet, and your screening info - from the start, the very first email.  If getting the info from you is going to take multiple emails, we may decide to move on to the next person who DOES include all the info and is therefore MUCH easier to screen.

How far out was your desired appointment? If there's no time for verification then you may not get a reply. It could also be for a lot of other reasons. i.e. too busy, not available for the time you requested, on vacation, moved to different city, retired, on tour, etc. I feel there's really no way to know what's going on the other end so guessing probably won't help. 48 hours wait time sounds good as a guideline, but it also depends on how close you are to your desired play time. From my own experience, ladies with 10+ TER reviews seem to be much more reliable in getting back to you on a timely basis.

I try to initiate a booking about a week in advance generally. Just might be a string of "bad luck" who knows?

just sounds really unprofessional. Is that all she wrote? No "Hello, Mr. magoo251, I just got your email...blah blah"?

I just returned from Europe, where my computer crashed, and thus had no access to my emails. I did write back to everyone who inquired with me to let them know why it had taken me so long to respond. But I can assure you my response was much longer than "Sorry. So, what's up?" Lol!

Good luck with your next inquiry. I like the suggestion of a different strategy.

If I’m getting anxious about not hearing back I’ll resend the email after 48 hours as well unless time is running short. Often I’ll resend the original after just 24 hours and add a new first line stating “I am resending this on the chance the first one ended up in your spam folder.” Computers break. Spam folders do get greedy and people take vacation time.

I always title the email “Appointment Request” if I’m asking for an appointment or “Appointment Inquiry” if I feel the lady pre-screens and that is what I’m looking for. A title that clearly states your intentions will usually get more attention than something more friendly. Of course include in the first email, all reference information to satisfy her needs.

If she has an online form, I will usually fill it out AND send an email. This may double your chances she gets your request. Some ladies accept both but rely on one more than the other. Make sure the email states you also filled out her form so she can pair them up. I’ve gotten two separate replies before.

But to address your first question about the “certainty of her lack of interest”, remember this. . .  almost nothing is certain in this business. With most independent providers, you are typically dealing with a self employed business person with a single employee. She’s the boss, the marketing manager, the accountant, the service delivery person and the janitor. It’s often the only business she’s ever operated. Very few ladies do an excellent job wearing all the required hats (when you find one of these they are a true joy to work with). Many do not treat it like a business and believe they only need to be good at “taking off her hat”. When some get busy they end up letting one or more things slack off. Some excel sufficiently in looks or performance that their “flakiness” in one or more business areas gets overlooked by enough clients they stay in business at least for awhile.

While reviews help, I find that reading provider’s websites, blogs and their postings on TER (when available) provides the best insight into their business acumen and therefore what to expect both during the session and while setting it up.

As far as expressing flexibility when setting up a date. . .I used to think it was always best to provide as much flexibility in my timing and availability as possible. Generally I still think this works well as long as I am sincere in expressing my desire to meet. The down side I have found is that a few ladies (especially the busy ones) will take advantage of my flexibility. It’s kind of like they are keeping me hanging, knowing I’ll fill in one their empty time slots at the last minute or they will ask me to switch on fairly short notice. If it’s someone I really want to see, I play along. I’m OK with it.

Just remember that you are dealing with a wide variety of people and skills when it comes to the non-fun, business end of this.

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Thank you, Natasha.

I try to remember to include P411 info.

Perhaps one issue I have is that I do have a lot of flex in my travel. So, I can flex my travel to be where you are, say, and when I inquire I try to give a date range. I never have, and will not, book an hour. Always multiple hours.

Does my flex make it seem that I am not serious about seeing the provider? Maybe.

Thank you again.

Another thing, if you are just including you P411 info in your initial e-mail to the lady, you should also send an "appointment request" through P411 and let her know in the e-mail that you have done so. This lets the lady know that the P411 info you have included in your e-mail, is in fact you. Those who won't send me an appointment request through P411 and just want to give me their P411 info, I will not see(I have no way of verifying if it is actually your account or not, UNLESS you request directly through P411).

I would also suggest being more direct about the dates. If you are saying for instance, "Looking for an appointment between August 5-7".. that leaves a lot of options open and some may not take you serious. Be more direct, such as, "I will be in your town on business from Aug.5-7, and was wondering if you have any availability on those dates from xyz time to xyz time".

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You might want to wait 48 hours for your 1st 2 inquiries then 24 hours for the next 2. That will give you 4 attempts for a booking. You may want to try a set day and time so as to appear more serious and definitive. Best of luck for your next date.

Nikkey,

Your suggestion about an appointment request along with a PM through P411 seems *GOLDEN*. Thank you for that advice. Question, though: If I send a PM via P411, doesn't that show I am me? (I guess I am always "me" unless Sybil is around....)

When I am trying to meet someone new, I want to know whether they are even available before I finalize my travel plans (I travel quite a bit). Plus, it seems as though schedules are quite "subject to change." All I am saying is that if I know you are not available I can go elsewhere.

BTW, brings up an interesting question. Is it best to approach getting a date serially--that is, one at or time; or, is it best to try cast several lines out into the water? No guy wants to be in the position of (as Sonny Corleone said) "coming out of the bathroom with only his dk in his hand." That it, when I travel and want a date, I want a date, dammit! Personally, I only cast 2-3 lines out there, sending the second two 24 hours after the first.

I interpreted the "what up" I received as, "Well, you are hearing from me now because it looks as though you are my only chance for a date." Not that I minded being Plan Q, but my plans had changed due to the delay.

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No, do not send a PM, send an "Appointment Request" or a "Pre-Screening Request". With either of these, it will go directly to the providers e-mail. And yes, if you send a PM on P411, then yes, that shows that you are actually logged into their site & you are you.. but ladies are more likely to take the former two more seriously than a PM. I'd say on a 90%, those who send PM's, never book and just ask questions. Those that send appointment or pre-screening requests, actually book an appointment 99% of the time.

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