Can't you just man up and say "thanks but no thanks" I live in hooker Siberia and I bet you I don't have a tenth of the number of POT SBs to choose from in my small city, but my nutsack is intact.
I will give you the very same advice you will get in hookerland. If you don't like her "demands" move on to the next one. I know you aren't stupid, or at least I don't think you are, but you certainly are a slow learner. The second rule of the internet, right after "when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging" is "the person getting mad is always the one losing the battle."This girl keeps telling me that I need to pay her to meet and anything that happens after that is "Separate" (meaning no down-payment) and that this is protect herself from fakes... I tell her I've been robbed, catfished, flaked on and stood up... whats protecting me from her? How do I know she's not just cruising around collecting first date allowances and bailing... She says, "I've never had a problem, that's just how I do things and its totally on you" I say "Of course you've not had a problem you get paid... but you don't care at all about the problems I've listed and its not totally on me, it on you because I already told you that I'm not doing it and there are 10 girls on here for every guy that will actually show up with money."
And the kicker... Instead of responding to any of that.. She repeats...
"Its totally on you, that's just how I do things"
Like not only am I an idiot, but Its on me whether to enable her gold-digging con artist attitude.
I seriously hate this site.
Can't you just man up and say "thanks but no thanks" I live in hooker Siberia and I bet you I don't have a tenth of the number of POT SBs to choose from in my small city, but my nutsack is intact.
I will give you the very same advice you will get in hookerland. If you don't like her "demands" move on to the next one.
I know you aren't stupid, or at least I don't think you are, but you certainly are a slow learner.
The second rule of the internet, right after "when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging" is "the person getting mad is always the one losing the battle."
Because I'm an idiot and I keep thinking I can reason with a con artist.
She's a total waste of your time and energy.
HAHAHAHAAHAH! You think so? I couldn't tell. Maybe that's why I called her a self-centered gold-digging con-artist and blocked her. 
She actually tried to tell me that all the other guys offer first date allowances lol.
and tell her that no, it's totally on her, on the things go. Tell her that the best you can do is to put the money in an envelope in front of her when you see her for a private date so she can pick her allowance right at the end of the meet. One SB told that me that she had met this guy who promised her ppm but afterwards made a lame excuse like wallet forgotten and then never came back, so for the start up SB it's understood that they at least need to see the cash.
Unlike escorts who have reviews, and a good back channel for escorts and reviewers, the former really doesn't have much to fall back on. I'm surprised it works as well as it does.
Just something to think about.
I agree. The total lack of screening in Sugar Dating, in both directions, makes it impossible to judge a person's bona fides in advance. But this is Sugar Dating, not escorting! I expect to pay an escort for her time, that's the deal, that's understood upfront. So if I'm dumb enough to want to pay to watch her eat lunch with me I should expect to pay her for her time. But in Sugar Dating the rules, such as they are, are different. I expect both parties to be sufficiently interested in discovering whether they have chemistry to be willing to invest an hour in having lunch or a drink together. If a girl asks for money just to meet, she's a hooker and should accept the fact and get off SA and start working on TER.
Ok. Thanks. Take care. Be safe. Bye. Anything beyond that is a waste of time.
And the kicker... Instead of responding to any of that.. She repeats...
"Its totally on you, that's just how I do things"
Like not only am I an idiot, but Its on me whether to enable her gold-digging con artist attitude.
I seriously hate this site.
Had the same response from a supposedly new SB and she said nearly the same thing. Maybe SA gives them this type of advice in their FAQ for newbie SB's.
I gave her the "that is not my routine and good luck in your search" so there was no misunderstanding between us. I don't get where these delusional SB's think any guy would pay to watch them eat or have a drink. Any self respecting SD would immediately move on unless they were so desperate to just have someone of the opposite sex talk and be seen with them.
If you seriously take what she said is on you to the point that you "hate" the site, sounds like maybe the sugar bowl is too stressful for your emotional well being.
move on. It's that simple.
Any type of reasoning in a reply back to sway her to your way of thinking is unlikely to work.
I haven't paid for SA yet, but I started thinking about it again and doing more reading. There are plenty of services where a free estimate or consultation is offered. With that in mind, I'm never going to pay to meet a SB for coffee or whatever just to see if we click.
I didn't pay to meet the lawyer, who I eventually hired, for an initial consultation. Nor would I have done so. You best believe that I'm not going to pay to "meet" an SB. SBs are free do what they want and so am I. From what I've read there's someone for everyone in the sugar world.
I get this frequently, and my reply is always that this is a Sugar Daddy/SugarBaby site and that sugar flows from Daddy when the sugar flows from Baby. I'd be on Match.com if just wanted a dinner companion.
I have never paid for a first meeting. I have also gotten scammed for my first week on SA by some chick who wanted to to buy her videos as a sign of good faith and then ghosted me. It was only 50 bucks so no big deal but it was a good lesson.
I think someone else said that they have on their profile that they pay for first meet to show that they are serious. I think that can be an ok idea if you are having trouble getting girls interested. The salient point about it is that it should be your idea and not THEIR idea to pay per meet. In this way, is it really any different than WYP... where you have to pay upfront to find out if the girl wants to P4P.
Now, playing devils advocate here, of course there are con artists on SA. But just a couple threads below we talked about how many jerks and lowlifes these girls interact with on a daily basis on SA... is it that preposterous that some of them would want to weed out some of the jerks by charging something upfront?
Im probably in the minority here but just saying, I don't think it's always bad or should uncategorically always be a no. I think the context, how it's presented, circumstances, and her willingness to work with you should also be taken into account. I mean, really, if a girl is super hot and you think you have a good chance of sleeping with her if she likes you... a $50 meet few would stop you from going forward?!?! Not for me.
I've had at least one woman refuse to meet for coffee for anything less than $500. I practically laughed in her face. Then she had the temerity to tell me, "there's only one of me and there's thousands of desperate guys like you". Maybe she doesn't actually know the SD/SB ratio. Anyway, I agree that a $50 meet fee doesn't sound so bad but it sets a bad precedent and conveys the wrong tone imo.
Your post raises some very good points. EVERY POT SB I have met shared at least one story of being stood up for a date or meet and greet....with some citing several. I have no doubt that they can get as frustrated with us as we do with them. While I would never pay for a "meet only," I get why some would think that asking for $$$ upfront is a sign of sincerity. The truth,however, is it is not. Any guy can set a date, say he will give her $50 for gas money, or whatever, and still stand her up. The one's that ask for money for a meet, to me, either don't think or are greedy. I know they will say that it is also compensation for the time and money they put into getting ready. That argument is worse than the first. Our time, as the guys with the cash in this scenario, is objectively "more valuable" than theirs as it is likely that, on an hourly basis we make WAY more than they do. Now, don't get me wrong...I have the ultimate respect for their time. That is why I have never been late, nor have I ever flaked on a meet. But I can say that 90% of my dates, BCD or strictly meeting and greet, have involved the lady being at least 20 minutes late. Talk about the thing that really pisses me off...tardiness... But I will save that for another thread.
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Pay to meet? Never. A lady here in Vegas wanted $200 to just meet for drinks and to eat. I told her no. She has my info and weeks later in the summer she see's my Facebook page and contacts back and says ok I will drop the fee if we can have lunch on the boat (I have a 36' Carver and she saw some party pics) on the lake so I can lay out and tan after. I told her sure, we can do that, I just need you to bring $200 for gas.
Haven't heard from her since.
Love that. Awesome.
but he didn't get laid. and isn't that the goal here?
I turn down a lot of POT SB's but I never feel the need to "tell them off" especially if they are hot. You never know what might happen in the future. Who knows? For the price of lunch and a bit of "boat gas" he "might" have had a great afternoon. In my experience any girl who wants to sunbathe all afternoon on the boat knows a little time "down in the cabin" is part of the deal.
Personally, I think he fucked up, but each to their own.
None of that was going to happen. Otherwise I would have surely taken your approach.
"Gas, grass or ass" no one rides for free. lol
I've seen a few saying 'strictly platonic.' Uh, maybe you need to re-read that memo.....but I'm sure some idiot will pay for the privilege of being seen with you - it just won't be me.
And the kicker... Instead of responding to any of that.. She repeats...
"Its totally on you, that's just how I do things"
Like not only am I an idiot, but Its on me whether to enable her gold-digging con artist attitude.
I seriously hate this site.