California
Between 1st pros and now SBs what I consider possible sure has changed.
Im out by the pool the other day. This young hottie and me. She gave me a few shy smiles. We eventually start talking. He english is so so. Eventually she asks if I have 420. She is 19 btw. So I say its in my apartment. She is ok going back with me. I give her a small amount and she asks how much? She notices my bulge. Smiles and drops to her knees. Wow. Didnt see that coming.
Go on a rant and tirade on how I was violating the terms and conditions of SA. Had a M&G over coffee couple days ago, everything seemed to go well and agreed on allowance. Texting tonight over our next meet and she immediately asked if allowance we agreed on was in play. I briefly thought that was odd since we had already come to terms. It shortly became evident that "adult playtime"... my term during negotiations was not equivalent to "intimacy" and the upsell was just beginning. What a horrible guy I was that couldn't help support a young woman without her offering sex and lowballing girls, and how happy I should be that she would be seen in public with me etc.... I let her know I respected her viewpoint and was sorry for the misunderstanding. She couldn't leave it alone and had to have the final rant about how valuable her time was and wasted her investment with me, (all 30 minutes at the m&g) and I'm so cheap I don't belong on SA and on and on. I'm surprised she didn't comment on my missing teeth, BO, hairy nostrils, and triple chin...oh wait, she already told me several times a couple days ago what a great looking guy I was and how much fun we were going to have. Any advice on whether I handled this appropriately and let the insults go unanswered???
As satisfying as it would be to tell her to eat shit, you don't want her reporting you to SA (even though you probably did nothing wrong). Do not respond and move on.
Move on. Once the bsc is out there is no point arguing.
There's no real way to truly avoid BSC, but you can certainly avoid misunderstandings. I wonder what sort of meeting you had planned next that she wasn't clear about intimacy being expected. When you meet for drinks/coffee, you need to subtly but clearly express your expectations. And if you are not getting clear confirmation, you need to be more explicit. If you've already made it clear that BCD is involved, you can ask what some of her favorites activities are in terms of adult fun. If she avoids answering, you can list a few things you like and ask how she feels about them. I'm really surprised that you went away from the meet-and-greet unclear about physical activities at the next date. I would think about what you could have said that would've made that crystal clear. Personally, I've never even gotten to the m&g without that point being agreed upon beforehand. In most cases, we already agreed to move immediately to BCD if there is chemistry at the m&g.
I disagree... I think being too explicit can backfire too. I think the girl easternpacific met with knew exactly what "adult playtime" meant and was trying to be shady. I don't think you're going to get a lot of takers saying "I expect us to meet for a drink or 2 and then ur going to come back to my room and fuck me". You have to be slicker than that.
What has worked for me is to say something like "I'm thinking we could meet for lunch and a few cocktails and then I would get us a room. How does that sound to you?" I don't think you need to be more explicit than that cuz they know if they come back to your room, sex is expected. The girls who know the deal are cool with this and the ones who are not are upsellers or scammers. You can certainly let them know that there is no sugar until intimacy if you think they are not getting the message... although I would advise to probably give that message via text rather than via SA message so you lessen the chances of getting reported by a vindictive or BSC POT.
Girls that want to be "arm candy" or "plus one" to an event should be avoided altogether.
Completely agree. During our M&G, not only did we talk about "adult playtime", I asked if she could host our meetings and she said no, but it was a good question to get out in the open. I said there was no problem going to my place since I am single to which she acknowledged she was totally ok meeting there. So now we're setting up the next meet and she wants full allowance but says she doesn't have time to drive 30 mins to my place and wants to have dinner near her apartment. I let her know this arrangement isn't going to work that way because I don't hand out an allowance just for going to dinner. She goes bsc and says in her couple of years sugaring she never had anyone linking an allowance for intimacy and for that, the allowance would have to be a lot more. Typical upsell, I said sorry for the misunderstanding and left it at that. Got a couple more text rants but gave her the ghost. Not worth the effort, too many other sb's out there, already had a couple great meets with a real sweet college sb who loves going to some local fave dives, doesn't even care to go to the fancy "wine and dine" stuff. She loves camping and got a beach camping trip planned in a couple weeks. Got lucky and dodged a real PIA BSC one.
Thanks for all the prior advice. I really wanted to point out to her the inconsistencies that her notion that the allowance and intimacy is acceptable only when the number of benjamins she receives is high enough