...never again.
SB's have some pro's but it is heavily outweighed by the many con's IMHO. I'll stick with escorts & strippers from now on.
I really would like to know the gentlemen's point of view. Do you consider SugarBabies to be very much "undercover escorts"? Have you ever had a SB before? Is it better to deal with an escort or with a SB?
Ladies you can chime in too.
Thank you!!!
undercover escorts. I consider them to be escorts in denial. I've tried SB's twice for about two months each, you get half the fun and twice the drama. If you consider that a good deal, then go for it. You're a more patient man than me.
...never again.
SB's have some pro's but it is heavily outweighed by the many con's IMHO.
I'll stick with escorts & strippers from now on.
75% of The Men who have tried the SD-SB arrangement, have reported negative experiences. Typically the relationships start off great, but as months pass the frequency of intimate encounters decline, while the demands for financial compensation increase. Because I am somewhat private (aloof by a few critics), I have never seriously considered a SB relationship.
any more than you should be looking for one ATF in the hooker world. It almost always leads to disappointment as these relationships are rarely "real" they are financially based and the mistake that guys with ATFs and guys with SB's make is expecting too much for too long out of these financially based "relationships"
All you really need to learn is how to say NO and to kick an SB immediately to the curb when the "relationship" starts to go downhill.
Most of the guys who have the most success in the Sugar World, treat it much like the hooker world and create a "rotation" of SBs that you see until you tire of them, you simply add to your rotation to keep a nice rotation of four or five SB's that you are seeing never get to invested into any one of them. In my experience, "most" first dates with POT SB end up with sex, not all, but most. If you have a nice rotation of girls you see, there is no reason you can't call one of them if your "first date" with a new girl goes south.
Yes, the Sugar World is a bit more work, and it's not the "sure thing" that a well reviewed TER hooker is, but it can be a lot of fun and I am thoroughly enjoying myself with SB's
I've seen this approach talked about on other boards. Men talk of paying sugar babies an amount per date that's usually well below what they could charge in the escort world if they developed skills and professionalism. I can't help but feel this is taking advantage of their naivete all the while treating them more or less like providers. Hopefully some day they will wise up.
as I understand the SB arrangement, it might be fun IF I were single with a lot of free time and a hankering for the kind of drama and social excitement of my time between marriages when I dated a lot.
I was younger and longing for female social distraction and reassurance after a miserable marriage (for both of us so I was not only lonely for female companionship but needed reassurances that I could be attractive and pleasing to women. I had after all made my wife as miserable as she had made me.)
Right now, I am grateful to be able to meet charming, intelligent, marvelously attractive women whom I can meet and whose company I can enjoy with no muss or fuss. I have generally had a great time for which I am very grateful.
I have both..i believe in having the best of both worlds..
I don't want to see the same person that often and have no interest in a relationship. Even my favorites I don't see more than once every few months at most.
I have features of the relationships I have with many of the gals I see on a regular basis such as longevity and involvement to one extent or another with their private lives.
Trying to be too selective in categorizing each relationship risks trivializing the relationship in the first place.
I used to be a SB for about 3 years and it was nice but super glad I am a escort now and much happier. I felt that with sugaring the men tried to take up alot of my time and not respect my privacy. They would way over step their boundaries. We agreed to NSA and it seemed like a full fledge relationship and at times not even worth it. I am just so glad I made the switch and so much happier.
Ladies you can chime in too.
Thank you!!!
right now I am in the middle of TRYING to set up some meetings with possible SBs. It's a lot of work and GAWD the fakes and no shows. If there were some decent regulars in the area, I wouldn't even give this a try. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Still going to try to set up a couple dates but I get everyone's point and thanks for your perspective.
Their performance isnt usually as good and the communication is awful. OTOH I have had a few where s 2 or 3 hour date was 200 or 300 and they loved sex. It's definitely more hit and miss.
SD's many times are way too much work, so high maintenance, most of them are needy, they need constants assurance, attention, text messages, calls, meetings, narcissist, annoying as fuck!
Be wise on how you meet him (or where), those SD's sites are wasted of time and energy.
Trust me, I had one and it was a nightmare, I rather have a client and we have an agreement on meetings, and rules stablished. Instead of the emotional draining. Energy vampires... I run away from those.
read the erotic highway on ter board.
Guys on those SD's sites, wants a lot of your time for little $, it is not worth it, for your mental, emotional health.
Most of the guys there, If you screen him in "our sites" they are on ter too with manny reviews LOL, they are just cheap trying to get cheaper dates. lol
I agree. I have been on SD sites and they always talk about the fact that they don't want escorts. Of course they don't, cause they're cheap af. And on top of that they want to have unprotected sex. I have met a couple in the past and yes they want to take you to dinner but I don't care about the food, I have plenty of food and drinks in my home. I want to be clear from the beginning and they don't want ti to be transaction. To me, as you said, its way too much work. Too many fakes and cheap guys.
I had one for 2 years but it was way too much, we still seeing each other but I cut a lot of things because it was exhausting, extremely needy, anxious, jealous, and I was feeling burned out. SO I make many changes; NOW... I see him once a week even if he is in town more days, text messages, calls, FaceTime, dinner, trips, shopping, etc... I am not answer him after 9 pm, I have his credit card, his bank info if I need tires for my car, insurance, groseries, other expenses too... as well I get an "allowance" of 6K a month. I would not do all this for less than that. I write everything that I spend on with his money or credit cards and based on that... I give him my time.
They want to suck the energy out of you, but we have the power, and the P... so we make the rules LOL
He's married so... its not like he's going to leave his wife for me. I have very clear the arrangement we have and I know it would change at any time. In the mean time I save as much as possible.
Buy me dinner? Whatever~!! I can buy myself a good dinner and don't need a Splenda daddy for it. LOL
-- Modified on 3/28/2017 6:19:31 PM
He want my services and company... well; he has to take care of the financial part, I'm not looking for a husband... This is my work. I provide excellent service, I am well skilled, discreet... I am a good provider.
There's reason why he still here... because I give many things that the wife cant, we have an agreement that works for me... and it works for him as well and the moment he decided to change the terms, I will do the same.
-- Modified on 3/28/2017 11:33:55 PM
That quote comes from the civilian working world, but I believe that this lesson is applicable to the distinction between professional escorts and sugar babies. Sugar babies may come with a lower price tag (which is why some guys pursue that avenue), but they may also end up costing more in terms of time, energy, and the quality of one's experiences, so you end up with less net value for your money.
I experimented with sugar babies last year and concluded after about 20 dates that it was a net waste of time, energy, and money, compared to my experiences with escorts. I would argue that most sugar babies are in practice amateur hookers with less or no skill or accountability. They often lacked the erotic skills of experienced professionals and had little or no sense of professional responsibility. The lack of reviews makes it impossible to vet them, beyond your ability to assess them when you write and talk to them and meet them in person. Equally important, in my mind, is the lower level of accountability in the sugar dating world. In our world of reviewed providers and whitelisted or otherwise vetted hobbyists, we have strong incentives to behave ourselves, and providers have a strong incentive to show clients a good time, in the interest of building and maintaining their reputations. In contrast, the sugar dating world offers less incentive for good behavior and showing the other party a good time, beyond the hope for a second date and an ongoing arrangement. That incentive may not have been as strong as I thought it was, as it seems that most arrangements do not last long anyway.
I would argue that sugar dating is the Wild West, compared to our world of vetted providers and hobbyists. Dating sugar babies reminded me in some ways of picking up hookers in person in Latin America, where you typically do not have reviews with which to vet them and have to go with your gut assessment instead. The key differences are that Latin American hookers are usually MUCH better performers than North American sugar babies (in my experience) and also a LOT cheaper (for a North American monger). Latin American hookers often pose significant behavioral problems and frequently lack the professionalism of their North American counterparts, but at least those problems diminish once you learn how to manage them and remind them who is in charge, in keeping with their male-dominated culture. In contrast, I found that North American sugar babies were both irresponsible and resistant to the assertions of male authority that make frequently unruly Latin American hookers manageable (once you have learned how to do it).
And here, we are in charge 👌🏼