But!; if 90% is by any means an accurate approximation then for all intents and purposes it should be looked at as an UNacceptable "Norm"; but not as an excuse for unequal treatment/entitlements by any concerned faction.
so i am a big fan of this tv show called "the girls next door" and have been reading their message board all weekend and there was a VERY INTERESTING discussion going on and i wanted to bring it here and get your opinions. Here is a synopsis of the discussion:
"Twenty years ago, the percentage of female strippers and other "adult entertainer"-type professionals who were victims of some sort of sexual abuse was so high that nobody would ever question the validity of Sooverit's statements. It's something that has become universally accepted because of anecdotal evidence. Prostitution is the world's oldest profession, no? And in its earliest days, the percentage of "professional service providers" who were sexual assualt victims would've approached the 100% mark - a raped woman was "used goods" and unsuitable for marriage (which was a woman's only accepted function up until the past 150 years or so).
I think the trend, however, is as you say - as it becomes less stigmatized (especially in some of the more urban areas of the USA), more women are choosing to join the "adult" entertainment industry, not just falling into it because it happened to be the world they were exposed to while growing up. There is A LOT of money to be made if a woman can find her niche.
Although the numbers are changing and the industry is no longer the last resort job for women "of ill repute," the anecdotal evidence still supports that high percentages of the women in the "adult" industry were sexually traumatized at some point early on in their lives, but probably more like a simple majority than the 99% it used to be. The raw data doesn't exist to support either side of the argument and it's unlikely it ever will, for the same reason there will never be a true estimate of the "gay" percentage of the population: the data is heavily reliant on self-reporting. People are not exactly forthcoming with this type of information. A lot of them are already feeling very stigmatized and "dirty" about the abuse that took place, and that's before they hear another person (who is supposedly supportive of the choice to participate in the "adult" industry) refer to them as one of the "f*cked ups."
For giving me yet another venue for my cynical vitriol. He-he-he
I have hobbied for 22 years. My personal observation is that the information in the passage that you posted is correct. I see more women of late who provide because they view it as a way to gain control over their finances, or they are using the business to fund an education as they prepare for a career in the "everyday" world.
I attempt to gain appointments with only proven upscale ladies, so the percentage of ladies that I see that are damaged by childhood abuse may be small, I do not sense that any ladies that I see have such experiences in their past. I do talk to the ladies that I see a lot and all have been open once they know me.
My only comparison is to when I used agencies heavily prior to joining TER, during that time I would occsionally meet a lady that was dealing with an abusive So or an act of abuse against during her childhood. But even with agencies of that period, most of the women that worked did it for pure financial reasons, not because they hated men or because sexual servitude was all they knew, or because they had not learned to value themselves.
None of the women that I met had been the victims of rape while working this business at the time that I met them.
According to statistics, approximately 33% of women experienced sexual abuse as children (15% for men).
I would imagine that women who enter the adult industry are more likely to have been a victim of sexual childhood abuse than those women who never enter the industry.
The statistic of 33% applies to all women, butis it reasonable that it also applies to the provider population? Apart from other factors, I think that sexual abuse during childhood would be a significant factor.Yet,a related factor could be religious education(at home and religious school).I know of several providers with a catholic background that come from large families with many siblings...it's hard to differentiate if it's the emotional neglect of one sibling by the parents or some other church-related traumatic experience a la altar boys experience.....
whom I have known well enough to discuss the subject, who have not told me of some form of sexual abuse during their life. I think the percentage must be close to 90% or so, and I am talking about scores of woman I have known (both escorts and non-escorts.)
The effect of sexual abuse is not always to de-value sex, as some prostitution foes would have it. I concede it can happen, and can probably state that in the case of one or two escorts I've known, it was at least a factor.
However, as Satre has put it:
Freedom is what you do with what has been done to you. (paraphrased)
never been abused in any way, over-coddled in fact, and led an all too boring, chaste life til I was in my early 20's! (Making amends now...)
And an apt mention of Sartre's philosophy of freedom!
While you will get no argument from me about abusive partners, you will also have issue with trying to prove what is abusive and what is not abusive. Two Well Known Examples - William Kennedy Smith (nephew to Sen. Ted Kennedy) and Monica Lewinsky. In both instances, the women in question were undoubtably drawn to the power of the men in question. And in both instances the men took advantage of their position to obtain sexual favors - Were the women taken advantage of? why are women's groups stunningly silent in both instances?
Until we can answer those questions, I think defining rape or abuse is in some instances a difficult decision. Forcable rape - or sexual predation of minors is clearly abuse... but adults? as I say, the line can become fuzzy.
is one that would define it in terms of the victem's perception of the act. Admittedly this definition can be fraught with problems as well.
But!; if 90% is by any means an accurate approximation then for all intents and purposes it should be looked at as an UNacceptable "Norm"; but not as an excuse for unequal treatment/entitlements by any concerned faction.
Until someone can show me a statistically tabulated study done by a reputable, non biased researcher into the sexual abuse history of NON street working sex workers, I don't buy the 'all sex workers got diddled by daddy' myth.
Every study *I* have ever seen has been done with piss poor statistical bases of women who are almost invariably street working, homeless, drug addicted and/or using women. These are heavily marginalized people doing *survival* level sex work. Is this a fair example from which to extrapolate that 'all' sexworkers are victims of childhood abuse? After all, if you trust this data, you could also extrapolate that 'all' of us are intravenous drug users who are homeless or rely on shelters. Does this sound like the women you know who work in this business - *our* version of this business?
Not only do I not buy the 'all of us were abused' story, but is pisses me off how prevalent it is, and how widely accepted. Oh, naturally - the only way any of us could ever work in this industry is if our sexuality has been skewed by abuse. It couldn't possibly be anything to do with our choosing, willfully and sanely, to take control of our own sexuality, for our own financial gratification. It couldn't possibly, because everyone knows that women can only make choices based on the repetition of learned behaviour, because we're all empty headed automotons.
Sorry for the rant, but as a non drug using, non abused, happily partnered hooker, I'm tired of being painted with the 'victim' brush. The only thing victimizing *me* is the headache I get every time I have to read about how I must be 'repressing' my sexual abuse, if I can't remember it.
I'd write more, but I have to go fondle some cigars while I visualize myself riding a train through a tunnel.
Morgan
I recall only two cases where it was a family member (once a father, once a brother.) In almost all the other cases it was a (sort of) boyfriend getting carried away type of thing. In most of those cases they were attacked, but often managed to avoid being litterally raped. Maybe that is so prevalent that it doesn't count to some woman as abuse? Admittedly there is a large area of gray there.
I have a friend who is a stripper, but putting herself through school - both with a scholarship (she is an honor roll student) and with her earings as a stipper in an upscale bar. Her friends - are an honor roll student in another area of study that is quite demanding, a student in a profession nearing the completion of her degree (and who I have fallen for badlyl) as well as other assorted majors in various degrees of completion as either graduate or post graduate work. Perhaps the most telling thing that I can relate: when I commented on the fact that almost all of these ladies are "straight A students" was by an A student who is incredibly good looking as well as one of the most interesting future business woman I know - "well, we have a bit of a self esteem issue that we are working through...."
This may be spot on, and legalization will not change the perception. it will only change the protection that may be afforded to the ladies in the sex industry.
What I have found in my relations with strippers, porn stars and escorts is that they are (at least 90% of the ones that I have met) quality people. Some of them have families, and lead very normal and productive lives.... They contribute to society - I actually know one stripper who took a substantial interest in helping the victems of Hurricane Katrina and raised a few thousand for the relief effort - go figure. What happens - is because of what they do, men, in general, take advantage of them because they know that society will always say - well - you asked for it. Many of them do not. they just use the job to advance in life. Some enjoy it - and some do not.... sound familiar - some in civie life like the job - and some do not... go figure.
Which brings me to my point - there are many ways to feel "dirty" about your job. Ever have to lay off an entire division of a company? That feels dirty. Ever have to fire an older employee who has dedicated over 20 yrs to the company? that feels dirty...
With respect to the abuse. I tend to agree- it is possible to be in the biz and not be traumatized... but certainly - it is not necessary. I always consider that the ladies I meet in the industry are just that - ladies - until they prove otherwise to me. And in the past 3 years - I have met exactly two - that I was less than impressed by - one escort - and one stripper. out of more than 100 or so ladies - while in civie life - my % of not so nice people is much much higher - go figure...
Just my $0.02
although there may be a slightly higher percentage of providers who were -- at one
time -- sexually abused, I think if you are able to talk to women who are not active in this business you will also find many of them have also been sexually abused at some point in their lives. In fact, there are increasingly more men who have been sexually abused as children or teenagers.
I find the whole stigma of providers doing this because they were abused somewhat flawed. There is a difference between a person who is walking the streets and has a pimp (father/sexual partner figure) and someone who decides to go into this business for herself on a much more private scale. Some women may feel forced into this business, while others feel it's an opportunity to make some quick cash and invest. No matter how you look at it, some women (if they are honest) will tell you that they are involved in this business because they are horny, or because they are making good money, or will say "If I'm going to be fucked, I might as well make some money doing it!" There are many reasons, not just abuse, but statistics show that many have been raped at some point in their lifespan.
Putting those things aside, we are living in an era that we can get counseling for past afflictions; we can overcome many obstacles because we know that others have endured such instances too and moved forward with their lives; and everyone has a past. Some just choose to hold onto the negative aspects of their childhood instead of moving on and restoring some peace to their lives. For those lucky enough to have had a peaceful childhood and flawless youth, more power to you. However, we all have a story to tell. It's those of us who choose to accept our past and move on with new hope and strategic planning will succeed in whatever we do.
I'm sure many will argue this point, but the majority of women I have spoken to in this business have decided it was the financial aspect of it that was appealing, as well as setting their own work hours.
Hugs,
Ciara
-- Modified on 2/20/2006 2:40:24 PM
I reiterate my initial statement which is that 33% of all women suffered CHILDHOOD sexual abuse and that that statistic is probably somewhat higher with women who enter the adult industry.
Very well put Ciara.