Sometimes I have to deal with different clients, some good, some nice, and some not so nice. The people I've worked with have had experience with some of these clients before, so, they talk to me during lunch or what have you and give me the low down about that person. My first initial response was, well, thank you for that information. My expectations about that client changes a bit, and so does my behavior about him or her when we meet.
What I find out later in the years was, I appreciated the feedback from my coworkers, but, I myself haven't had any experience with this person yet to make a judgment on that person. I found out that just because their experience wasn't as good as they had hope, it doesn't mean that my experience will not be good. Some people behave different around others.
It's kinda like high school or college, you got a new kid, and your friends start gossiping about them. So, your expectations change about that person. You've never even met the person, and yet you are making judgments on that person based on rumors and gossip.
Some places have policies to prevent gossiping for this very reason. Its always beneficial that your friends are giving you feedback about a person. However, you shouldn't judge someone unless you've actually have experience with them. Perhaps if you were interested, you may PM the reviewers, read her reviews, and make an overall summary. Use different channels to make an overall evaluation of the person. Don't just rely on one source for information.
To answer your question, yes, I do sometimes receive PM's from providers and hobbyist to not see a provider based on their experience. But, it's never final, and it may be a YMMV scenario. If they trash talk the provider, then, that's a different matter. Like I mentioned above, I appreciate the feedback, but, I also use different sources to obtain adequate information.
In the last four days I have got four different warnings form four different and as far as I can tell unassociated providers from two different sites. Two of the four I never heard of before the emailed or PMed me. All of them claim she is evil, but other than proof she lied about something she posted about on one of the boards gave no specifics. I never asked any of them about her they just volunteered there dis like. I have never had random providers contacting me about anther provider in my hobby life.
What do you guys think? This ladies reviews are good to fair. I had no plans to see her and still don't. I just do not know what to make of this behavior. Has anyone here been randomly contacted by multiple ladies warning you about one lady not even in the area? What would you make of it? They all are legit as far as I can tell and none are in my area.. I have seen none of them but have had contact with two of the four and the ac used.
I am not naming names as I have no proof of anything. I am just not understanding what would spark such behavior. They are even warning me not to respond to her posts. I have never seen anything like this.
Thank you.
Everything you hear by PM isn't true .
I know why they don't like her , the same reason I do . 
What do you guys think? This ladies reviews are good to fair. I had no plans to see her and still don't. I just do not know what to make of this behavior. Has anyone here been randomly contacted by multiple ladies warning you about one lady not even in the area? What would you make of it? They all are legit as far as I can tell and none are in my area.. I have seen none of them but have had contact with two of the four and the ac used.
I am not naming names as I have no proof of anything. I am just not understanding what would spark such behavior. They are even warning me not to respond to her posts. I have never seen anything like this.
Thank you.
Sometimes I have to deal with different clients, some good, some nice, and some not so nice. The people I've worked with have had experience with some of these clients before, so, they talk to me during lunch or what have you and give me the low down about that person. My first initial response was, well, thank you for that information. My expectations about that client changes a bit, and so does my behavior about him or her when we meet.
What I find out later in the years was, I appreciated the feedback from my coworkers, but, I myself haven't had any experience with this person yet to make a judgment on that person. I found out that just because their experience wasn't as good as they had hope, it doesn't mean that my experience will not be good. Some people behave different around others.
It's kinda like high school or college, you got a new kid, and your friends start gossiping about them. So, your expectations change about that person. You've never even met the person, and yet you are making judgments on that person based on rumors and gossip.
Some places have policies to prevent gossiping for this very reason. Its always beneficial that your friends are giving you feedback about a person. However, you shouldn't judge someone unless you've actually have experience with them. Perhaps if you were interested, you may PM the reviewers, read her reviews, and make an overall summary. Use different channels to make an overall evaluation of the person. Don't just rely on one source for information.
To answer your question, yes, I do sometimes receive PM's from providers and hobbyist to not see a provider based on their experience. But, it's never final, and it may be a YMMV scenario. If they trash talk the provider, then, that's a different matter. Like I mentioned above, I appreciate the feedback, but, I also use different sources to obtain adequate information.
That was very well put McDonald. It has been my experience that when providers tell men to not see another provider, yet have no reason to back their story , just to stay away from her its usually because
they hate the provider themself. They say things to scare you but it's really all fraud. They may have had a confrontation with the provider they are talking about , got told off by the provider who put her inher place and told her what she thinks and walks away to carry on and be a good provider in her community and then the emails start to roll in.
Dear Provider :
I heard that I should stay away from you. XYZ from AYZwho said this to me . Did something bad happen?
And the provider tells you what she thinks of you engaging in gossip in a gentle kinda way.
The choice is really your own but people do judge you by who you choose to hang out with. When you have a board like this to help you by reading about the service a lady gives you , why would you listen to a lady who never met someone who gossips and attempts to tear another provider down?
The man who wrote the review who has a good reputation is all you should concern yourself with.
If the provider filling your head with little lies about the provider, it tells you something about her character and it will not be nice for she has nothing nice to say . Her misery is now your misery.
The misery to decide.
The fear tactics she has just installed upon you. She groomed you because you have allowed her to. That is not what this industry is supposed to be about. There should be a provider forum to discuss these topics. End results? Your gossiping provider is jealous . Look at her reviews. Is she even a member here? Think . Study . Observe. Learn about the one who interests you more and if talk is going on more than how much she wants to meet you , then you have figured out which one to take as sincere. The less one says the better.
The End.
That a couple of providers you have never saw would contact you out of the blue to tell you do not see another provider who is not even in your state.Sounds very petty and just being gossips and keeping up drama.If I was a guy I would not want to deal with that type of drama and you have not even thought of or set up an appointment yet.
If you asked for info that is one thing but just unsolicited info about a provider who is not even in your city sent to your inbox not cool.Unless this person is a safety risk and even then you never know if you are receiving the truth or not.
Just my .02
-- Modified on 6/1/2012 12:16:27 AM
So unprofessional of ladies to email a hobbyist about another lady.
Not to mention, in "providing 101," we learned that clients do not ever want to hear about or participate in any drama.
*SMH*
Completely uncalled for.
I don't know any of the details of what you're hearing, and I have no idea who you're talking about. But I am actually inclined to think that if 4 different and unrelated providers are contacting you about 1 provider, there may well be something to be concerned about with that 1 provider, and perhaps you should keep your eyes open.
I'm going with the whole "where there's smoke there's fire" theory. Yes, there are always stupid cat fights among girls who love drama, but we also usually know who those drama queens are. But sometimes there are also real issues with people, and sometimes that info needs to be back-channeled, even if there is not tangible proof (psychos are often good at covering their tracks). There are dangerous girls (and hobbyists) out there, and warning the community can be the responsible thing to do. If the warnings are coming from girls who are not normally drama queens, I would listen. You don't have to act on the info - I'm not saying you should shun the girl they're talking about - but you may want to keep it in the back of your mind, just in case any other interesting "coincidences" arise.
The reason, I suspect, that these girls contacted you, even if they don't personally know you, is that they know you are well connected within the hobbyist community and therefore a good candidate to backchannel the info.
This is all pure speculation. Again, I know nothing about your details, and I could be way off base. But that many unrelated warnings about 1 girl would certainly catch my attention, and I would certainly be keeping my eye on that one girl. If it turns out to be a witchhunt or a gaggle of jealous providers, fine. But if it's more than that, you may end up appreciating the warning.
-- Modified on 6/1/2012 5:45:34 AM
sometimes you hear something that might be interesting. if you don't know how to evaluate it file it away until the situation becomes clearer. i was able to avoid a major problem by an unsolicited warning that turned out to be absolutely spot on.
if you can. No need to respond to anything they send you. Gossip is party of the hobby, you can either ignore or participate.
there are more possibilities than ignore or participate. one can simply await events and see what develops. in my case i took no action and discovered that the warning i received played out exactly.
where there is no basis for making a decision, why decide?
be because said provider is in his area or they would have told the entire board lol.
to warn people about her. More then likely you were not the only one to receive the warning.
If women are running around warning guys about providers they have never met, they are either jealous or just plain stupid. Keep the drama where it belongs...on the boards bwahahaha!
-- Modified on 6/1/2012 10:18:58 AM
They are way too many idiots on both sides of this game.
but I'd do my own complete research before seeing someone new... why we're on this board in the first place... I might did a little deeper with regard to recent reviews she has but always keeping in mind that there are lots of reasons, jealosy & competition being high on the list, that other providers would do this.
I'm not a regular on this board but I have been in the hobby for several years. I rarely hear from anyone else when I make contact with a provider. When someone does speak up with concerns, I pay attention. Why would they speak up if nothing was amiss?
Now, if we're talking about a single random/anonymous person, I would question his or her motives. If its multiple persons and/or a personalities I know, I go on high alert! Why would they contact me if there wasn't some reason for me to be concerned?
It has happened to me a few times over the years. I was glad I paid heed.
Do some research Scoed! I bet you will find there is a reason people are coming out of the woodwork to warn you.
So I guess there was some fire underneath all that smoke.