So over the past 5-6 months, I have seen one provider almost 10 times. We are the same age, have similar likes and ideas. The last few times that she came to my house, she would leave in the morning when I would go to work and never take the envelope with the cash in it. She would always use so excuse of, "well you cooked dinner'' or ''I keep using all your soap and shampoo''
She mentioned last night when she was here that she hadn't seen anyone else in a month or so and hadn't really advertised like she use too.
Is she dropping hints or am I looking at this to closely?
I hadn't seen as many other ladies as I would have during that time, call it the convenience of her availability or just the ease of our time together.
thanks in advance for the help.
I'm not the most experienced guy in this hobby and I have never transitioned a provider/client relationship into an actual romantic one. That being said, the fact that she is no longer taking money for your time together seems like a pretty obvious signal that your relationship with her has undergone a clear shift. You really need to talk to her about this, and you should do it sooner rather than later. Be honest with her (and with yourself) about what you want. It seems like you may not be certain about what your own intentions are, so you might need to do some soul searching before initiating this conversation. Whatever the two of you decide, I wish you luck.
a woman who no longer has any use for money.
You need to determine if you want a gf or a escort.
You need to give her agreed upon donations otherwise she will hit you up for help and if you don't do so it will hit the fan.
Sounds like you are single unattached so you can do whatever you want.
You don't have to lie to a escort like you would a gf .remember you are paying for the escort to leave not to stay.
Good luck
Although this is a hobby of "business", at the end of the day we are dealing with men/women with real emotions and feelings. Hobbyists/providers do date in the real world (some have even gotten married). It doesn't morph into that from day one, but over time it certainly happens.
The first question you have to need to ask is what do you want out of it. If you would like to see this lady in the traditional non-paying civilian dating world, then tell her. My sense is that you would like to do so, but don't want to run the risk of alienating her. Don't worry about it. If she says no, then you continue your relationship as is (which by the looks of it is pretty great since she doesn't take your money).
My initial thought is that she prob. would like to date you as well. She certainly has dropped a few hints along the way and the fact that she doesn't take your cash, suggests that she views your relationship beyond what is typical in the hobby world.
If you don't want to date this woman and would prefer to maintain a hobbyist/provider relationship, then do nothing and say nothing.
But my guess is that one of you will broach the topic sooner than later of seeing if there is something more happening between you two.
Well, if you want her as a girlfriend that is. Yes, she is most definitely dropping hints, leaving the door WIDE open, hoping that you will walk in.
Some people will advise you to "have the talk" and have both of you lay all your cards on the table as to your intentions. I am more of a "go with the flow" kind of guy, It certainly doesn't sound like anything is broken here, so why fix it? lol
Wouldn't the original idea of 'you spend time with me and I'll pay you' broken? To me it looks like they have become, at least, Fuck-buddies. I'm not a good one to give advise, but I'm sure many on these boards have had experiences such as theirs and can offer some warnings.
It's good until it's no longer good, and then you either take the next step, whatever the fuck that is, or you just move on.
I've been where he is more than a few times, and I have never "gotten burned" because I have never made more of it that what it was. The person who is "willing to walk" is always the one with the power in a relationship. As long as he doesn't fall head over heels in love, and nothing he has said lends to me to believe that is anywhere even near the case, he should be just fine.
I agree with you. And, I also have been in that situation. Except she never refused to take the money which should have been a big hint. lol.
she was a hooker who led you to believe she was a fuck buddy.
The OP is miles ahead of where you have been, his girl routinely refuses to take his money, which is also a "big hint" but a positive one in his case.
One is that it IS real. If you're a single guy eligible for marriage, she may view you are her retirement plan. Its also possible that she has no interest in leaving the business, but has found a kindred spirit in you that is non-judgmental about her seeing other guys. Having a hooker as a girlfriend is not something most guys can handle, but many girls still want to have a RL relationship ship for emotional reasons rather than having only meaningless sex on the job. If this is the case, you have a good situation.
On the other hand, its also possible that she is playing the long con, and the other shoe will drop one day, where she will tell you a story of needing an immediate $15,000 + for some emergency that has just come up (family member needs an operation, getting a family member out of a hostile country, etc., I've heard a number of them from guys that have been taken). Since you are her BOYFRIEND and not just her customer, she will count on this emotional dynamic for you to come through with the cash. Part of the con is that she will need to leave the area briefly to take care of the emergency, and a few days later her phone will be disconnected and you will never hear from them again. I ALWAYS see this coming, but they usually start laying the groundwork early on. Many guys don't, and are blindsided. I have had about six girls that actually became outside girlfriends with mutual affection and no secret agenda, but I've had about twenty that thought they were going to con me for a big score. That last one I had was mixed up with a loan shark because she had a gambling addiction. Took me four weeks to figure it out and cut ties, but a great four weeks of free sex at the same time. When you get lemons, you can still make lemonade, at least until SHE figures it out. Lol
First off, ask yourself if you really want a relationship. You are seeing hookers, so maybe you do not. And maybe you do. Either is OK. Just be true to yourself.
If you don't want a relationship you need to bail.
If you do, try to meet her family and other friends. And if she says no that is, to me, at the very least a big, big yellow flag.
Good luck and while you are figuring it out, enjoy!
You need to come up with an ironclad story of how you met and things evolved, with sufficient detail to answer any questions that might come. You can't very well tell her father you were horny and gave her $300 for a suck and fuck because all your friends said she was really good at it.
A Korean girl (Big surprise, right?) that I saw once on a P4P date and I started dating immediately after our one and only paid date. We lived only a few blocks apart and I started spending nights with her "after work" and then I would leave so she could work during the day.
After less than a week, just before we were about to have sex, she hit me up for ten grand, I don't even remember the reason as it just wasn't that important to me as I NEVER had any intention of giving it to her. BUT I am nobody's fool, of course I "agreed" to give it to her, I was in bed, naked with her and with a hard dick, of course I agreed to it, "right after I got back from a trip to Atlanta she knew I already had planned" lol
We saw each other for another few days and then I did actually take my trip to Atlanta, by the time I got back she had already left for Korea, never to return. It was fun while it lasted and I never felt the slightest guilt for "stringing her along" She had tried to con me, so I conned her back in return. Fair is fair. lol
None of us know enough to know what's in her mind, but the possibility that she is genuinely interested in him is a strong one. Keep in mind they are also about the same age and she's not some 20 year old latching on to some old guy thirty years her senior.
There are a thousand, no there are millions of possibilities here. Personally I LOVE to see where these things take me. I just keep my wits about me and try not to do anything stupid.
I saw the long con decades ago when I used to do business at the MBOT. A girl who was already engaged to a guy took one of the tricks on quite a ride. She dated him for free including overnights. The boyfriend knew about it. She ended up getting 40K out of the trick. The guy was not that well off.
Her and her boyfriend moved back to the Midwest and bought a house mostly on his dime. Most hookers are really into the short cons but a few of them know how to work the long con.
I guess we will find out what she really wants soon enough.
HE find out before WE do. Lol
just have her move in..
She mentioned last night when she was here that she hadn't seen anyone else in a month or so and hadn't really advertised like she use too.
Is she dropping hints or am I looking at this to closely?
I hadn't seen as many other ladies as I would have during that time, call it the convenience of her availability or just the ease of our time together.
thanks in advance for the help.
and has seen a pay stub or brokerage statement, and willing to trade a few "freebies" for the possibility of a long term income stream, post nuptials. She hasn't seen anyone in months ? Maybe want to ask why. Are you already floating the boat , or is she gainfully employed, or already Independently wealthy ?
"Almost ten times" is at most nine, and 5 to 6 months is 22 to 26 weeks. By my math that works out to you having seen her every two to three weeks. Not the same as the RL GF you see three or four times a week Just call me cynical.....
Do you want a strings attached situation? If so, then good for you, because it appears that what you have.
Most of us would shudder at that, however.
In terms of cost, P4P beats a strings attached situation over the long term. I'm not knocking a strings attached situation - I landed one myself from the hobby - however, think about what you want and evaluate this person carefully. It's a loaded situation, for sure.
Unless you've been keeping your personal papers under lock and key and your wallet on the bathroom door hook, you really are at risk of bad stuff – all the way up to possible identity theft.
You haven't offered us any clues as to whether she's been opening her personal life up to you over the course of these "dates". For example, has she introduced you to any civilian-type friend(s) of hers? Has she given you a palpable sense of her relatives? It seems to me that a female motivated by romantic love instincts would by now have started to reveal her real-life side.
Be careful.
Could she possibly be any more plain?
They say guys are insensitive to signals, but I mean come on!
But it seems like your hooker has fallen for you.
Sounds like a good deal to me. If you are nailing this broad for some Pantene and a bar of Irish Spring, you are my hero.
Shit, I cant even negotiate "free" sex.
I may have a professor position open for you at JDU in the fall. Hit me up and we'll chat. 
I can't imagine there ever being a client or situation where I don't take the cash. That's not to say I don't like the guy or didn't have a great time but it's like putting in a full day at the office and retuning your salary???
Either she thinks this is now a relationship or.......... she thinks this now a relationship. Proceed with care!!
As President Trump just turned over his first quarter's salary to the Park Services, does this mean we're now in a relationship with him?
Either she thinks this is now a relationship or.......... she thinks this now a relationship. Proceed with care!!
By 'real' I am assuming you mean is it a real relationship. It that's the question, based on what you say here the answer is no.
I hadn't seen as many other ladies as I would have during that time, call it the convenience of her availability or just the ease of our time together.
Thanks to everyone who has replied.
A couple of things I want to mention,
We are both early 30'sso the age comment does not factor here.
All of my personal mail and items are locked up in a safe. Not really because I suspected her (until you guys bring it up) but because we have had along of break in's in my area over the past couple of years so I wanted to protect my private info and personal belongings. And yes in the afternoon when I get home I go straight there and that's here I place my keys and wallet. call me over protective. When we are at my house she usually showers with me. (Large walk in)
We did meet with a group of her friends one night that I went to her place. (the last time we saw each other) As a matter of fact I am going to her place tonight and staying there this weekend. That's really why I made the post cause I wanted everyone's advice.
As for what I want out of it. That's what I need to figure out. Many of you are correct, I wasn't looking for a relationship, otherwise I would have not called up a provider. But I also know that you cant help how things happen. I agree with GaGamler in that I am usually one who just goes with the flow. But this is a line that I have never crossed and want to make sure I am understanding what is going on.
She is well off on her own. a nice single family town home, not a big flashy car but something very nice and dependable.
I am really taking everyone's comments into consideration. Maybe I will go with the flow for the first part of the weekend and if I am not getting any answers to my questions then I can bring them to the forefront and see how it goes.
Thanks again everyone
You might say something like this. "I've noticed you never take the money I offer you, should I just stop offering?"
BTW are her friends "hooker friends" and/or do they know both what she does for a living and how you met?
I wouldn't even say anything about the money. Just don't offer it and see what conversation transpires.
I've been down this path before and won't go down it again. Just reading some of his comments threw up red flags for me.
what kind of red flags did I throw?
I've been down this path before and won't go down it again. Just reading some of his comments threw up red flags for me.
I went down this path, started out similar to yours. Difference was your lady has a main income, mine didn't. So when you stated she hadn't really "seen anyone" in over a month and slowed down with posting ads, I saw it as a sign she was setting the plate about needing help. The moment money comes into play it isn't a real relationship.
I learned a great deal with my experience. She was shady AF. The things I learned after the fact were beyond revolting. She hid a lot of things. When life catches up to her, I'm glad I won't be around for it. She is her own worst enemy.
Not that I know of and I haven't ever seen any of them on a post. I cant say for sure if they know what she does. One thing I forgot to mention is that she does have a job. She as a RN at a local hospital but only has to work 3 - 12 hour shifts a week so I would assume they don't know and she just uses the nurse job as her cover. She did tell them that we eet online which really is not a lie..
BTW are her friends "hooker friends" and/or do they know both what she does for a living and how you met?
BTW are her friends "hooker friends" and/or do they know both what she does for a living and how you met?
Have you checked the nurses registry in your state to see if she is a real RN? In California an experienced RN with a specialty makes about 150K a year. I find it hard to believe that a girl with a great career would jeopardize it by hooking on the side.
girls in OC a few years ago was an RN. She worked three days a week at the hospital and two days at an incall. She said it was HER stress relief where she could get lots of great sex without any drama from a relationship. Getting paid was just icing on the cake, according to her. Gotta love a girl that thinks like a man. Lol
She could get all the no strings attached sex she wanted going to bars and nightclubs without risking losing a six figure career with great benefits.
Nursing seems to be one of the favorite "made up careers" that sexworkers use.
How do I know this? They were hung over a chair in her ho-tel room. She loved what she did and featured rimming and BBBJTCNQNS. God I wish she was still around. She also was a gym rat with a totally ripped bod.
OTM, you have some good experience but try to be a little less judgmental with others who have lots of experience, some of which may differ with yours.
OTM, you have some good experience but try to be a little less judgmental with others who have lots of experience, some of which may differ with yours.
A RN who gets caught hooking would almost certainly lose her job and maybe her entire career. Anything is possible but putting a great RN career on the line to hook makes no sense.
I'm a natural born skeptic. That won't change.
All I really cared about was that she love to eat cum. Also, she quit hooking so she must have been making good money professionally.
I've moonlighted as an escort when I had a full time job and didn't have the need for money. It's a discreet and profitable way to get your needs met without wondering if the guy you met at the bar last night is going to call you.
would never say "only" three 12-hour shifts. That's a ball-busting schedule that isn't going to leave much energy to bust yours. Doesn't matter if she's an RN, LPN or PCA.
If she's got the stamina, more power to you both. Just don't say "only" 3 shifts. I learned the hard way on that one.
How would it play out if the following came up during your time with her. It can come from something good when you're both having fun or it can from something bad when you are arguing about stuff.
"You know, you're NOT my girlfriend!"
What do you expect her reaction to be?
Emotional collapse and tears?
"You're damn right I'm not! Fucking loser!" (followed by a slamming door).
"You're damn right I'm not! Fucking loser!" (followed by a slamming door and slashed tires.)
"You're damn right I'm not! Fucking loser! And you owe me $3600!"
Etc.
At some point, you might have to say that to her. Be prepared for what might happen.
A couple of things I want to mention,
We are both early 30'sso the age comment does not factor here.
All of my personal mail and items are locked up in a safe. Not really because I suspected her (until you guys bring it up) but because we have had along of break in's in my area over the past couple of years so I wanted to protect my private info and personal belongings. And yes in the afternoon when I get home I go straight there and that's here I place my keys and wallet. call me over protective. When we are at my house she usually showers with me. (Large walk in)
We did meet with a group of her friends one night that I went to her place. (the last time we saw each other) As a matter of fact I am going to her place tonight and staying there this weekend. That's really why I made the post cause I wanted everyone's advice.
As for what I want out of it. That's what I need to figure out. Many of you are correct, I wasn't looking for a relationship, otherwise I would have not called up a provider. But I also know that you cant help how things happen. I agree with GaGamler in that I am usually one who just goes with the flow. But this is a line that I have never crossed and want to make sure I am understanding what is going on.
She is well off on her own. a nice single family town home, not a big flashy car but something very nice and dependable.
I am really taking everyone's comments into consideration. Maybe I will go with the flow for the first part of the weekend and if I am not getting any answers to my questions then I can bring them to the forefront and see how it goes.
Thanks again everyone
and if she becomes his GF, than the point is moot.
and somehow I don't think he sounds like the kind of guy that would throw her past in her face if she becomes both an "ex" hooker and his GF. I know I have NEVER thrown the line "well you were just a hooker when I met you" when having a fight with a hooker or ex hooker GF, not even once have I gone down that road and I never will as I don't look down on hookers for what they do.
So just why would he ever say something so stupid? He honestly doesn't sound like a stupid guy.
First, I suggested it as a thought experiment.
Second, I specifically avoided anything beyond "You're not my GF" and, I agree, that I would not and he probably would not use stronger, more provocative hooker language.
If she was a civvie friend with benefits, he could use the "You're not my GF" line. If she was a GND hanging out at his house all the time and she's suddenly telling him to do stuff ("I don't like those drapes. You should get new ones.") he could use "Butt out! You're not my GF." line. And that is all I said.
Right now, no one seems to know the answer to the Qs, "Is she his GF? Does SHE think she's his GF?" and so on. IF OP believes it to be true, then her reaction to "You're NOT my GF!" answers the Q loud and clear and he should find out what she was thinking.
WHY would he say, "You're NOT my GF." ? In the heat of the moment. Something playful (she wearing his underwear; "Hay, take those off! You're not my GF.") or something neutral ("You should get a new carpet for this room." "You're not my GF.") or something heated ("You are terrible and inconsiderate! You didn't remember my birthday!" "You're not my GF.").
The OP may have thoughts on how she might react (as of now) and that could crystallize his thinking about the situation. He doesn't have to say it (yet), just think about it.
The thing is, he might say it at some point down the road.
and somehow I don't think he sounds like the kind of guy that would throw her past in her face if she becomes both an "ex" hooker and his GF. I know I have NEVER thrown the line "well you were just a hooker when I met you" when having a fight with a hooker or ex hooker GF, not even once have I gone down that road and I never will as I don't look down on hookers for what they do.
So just why would he ever say something so stupid? He honestly doesn't sound like a stupid guy.
Both of them need to be honest about this. Yea, its all fun up to a point and then it gets real. The moment someone catches a case of the "feels" it's too late. The physical part of a relationship is easy to deal with, but when someone starts making an emotional investment it's a whole different thing.
So he's got a whole lot of thinking to do before it gets down this path. The biggest question he needs to ask himself is if she continues to be a provider because it's income she needs, is he going to OK with it and whether he'll continue to hobby and whether she's good with it. If they can't be totally honest with each other, then it will never develop into anything more than what it currently is. That's just IMHO.
To some extent I have experienced some of what you are seeing.
Some things to consider if she has money try to figure why she is a escort in the first place.
Ask yourself how you feel if she is your gf and still turning tricks .Note the second you say she can't turn tricks you will get hit with "are you going to pay my bills"
If you are ok with her turning tricks you move towards being a pimp.If you drive her to a outcall and get busted that is a serious crime.
One last hint if you go to her place look around to get as much insite about her and don't forget to check the medicine cabinets .Assuming you know some of her personal info go get a background check.
For now enjoy the weekend bring donation with you but wait till she requests it.
Maybe you should watch Pretty women
Good luck
A couple of things I want to mention,
We are both early 30'sso the age comment does not factor here.
All of my personal mail and items are locked up in a safe. Not really because I suspected her (until you guys bring it up) but because we have had along of break in's in my area over the past couple of years so I wanted to protect my private info and personal belongings. And yes in the afternoon when I get home I go straight there and that's here I place my keys and wallet. call me over protective. When we are at my house she usually showers with me. (Large walk in)
We did meet with a group of her friends one night that I went to her place. (the last time we saw each other) As a matter of fact I am going to her place tonight and staying there this weekend. That's really why I made the post cause I wanted everyone's advice.
As for what I want out of it. That's what I need to figure out. Many of you are correct, I wasn't looking for a relationship, otherwise I would have not called up a provider. But I also know that you cant help how things happen. I agree with GaGamler in that I am usually one who just goes with the flow. But this is a line that I have never crossed and want to make sure I am understanding what is going on.
She is well off on her own. a nice single family town home, not a big flashy car but something very nice and dependable.
I am really taking everyone's comments into consideration. Maybe I will go with the flow for the first part of the weekend and if I am not getting any answers to my questions then I can bring them to the forefront and see how it goes.
Thanks again everyone
Have the conversation. Write out what you are going to say, don't memorize it, but think it through, lay out the facts and how you feel, let her know what you want, and then let her do the same. Having very open communication as early as possible prevents what seems like the inevitable pitfalls from happening.
He is doing just fine on his own, why does everyone here seem to want to complicate his life? Especially those of you who have never dated a hooker, or made the conversion from customer to "whatever".
and for the record, those "pitfalls" that you refer to are NOT "inevitable"
No wonder hookers don't want to date most of you guys, you guys ask more questions than "Dopey" and just can't seem to accept good fortune when it happens to you. Any normal woman, and that includes most hookers, would run screaming from the room after listening to even half the crap you guys spew.
I fell for a client and picking up the money just seemed to be the wrong thing to do. He insisted on it though so it wasn't meant to be I suppose.
Been on the other side where she was . I'm going to pay for OTC stuff.
I wouldn't let her.
Sometimes we respect another's time and try to do the right thing, or so we think.
At the end of the day, sometimes communication is the best you can do. Being a client (as i have a few times) we try to respect you as a provider.
If I paid to see you, I am into you. Hands down. That is me. I am sure some other guys who take the time to get to know a gal feel the same. All you can do is ask.
I think she actually values you very much and wants to start a relationship with you. It is not a bad thing but you should tell her how you feel and try and move forward from that.