I would say that time management and cash handling are two very important considerations when trying to keep things discrete. Finding a time to hobby when your absence will not arouse suspicion is key. A lot of guys have to do it on their lunch break or on their way home from work. It's no surprise that many ladies are their busiest in the early afternoon and during rush hour.
As far as the smell goes, well, that's why someone invented soap and water...a change of clothes is a good idea as well!
Treat Hobbying Like A Job, but one that your life depends on.
1.) Keep a seperate cell phone (prepaid) that you paid cash for and you only ever refill with cards paid for with cash. Keep this phone somewhere that your SO will NEVER have access to.
2.) Seperate hobbying email that has a password that is not anything that can be traced back to you by being used on anything else. Delete browsing history on all computers. Do not use your home computer for research. Get a cheap laptop and piggyback off some free wi-fi. Keep this laptop with your hobby phone.
3.) Cash management is key. If you have seperate banking it is one thing, but joint accounts require more stealth. Don't just go to the ATM on your way to hobby and get $400. Get $50-$75 cash back every time you go to the store and pay with debit card. Then keep the cash with your hobby phone in a hidden location.
4.) Get a gym/country club membership and stop there on your way home and shower and change clothes if the provider does not offer that option.
5.) Also hobby smart. Ask provider if you can "get comfortable" before you start anything. Take off your clothes and hang them up so they don't get glitter, scent, or make up on them and they also won't get wrinkled.
6.) Lie smart and consistent. Get a weekly activity that will NEVER be interrupted by a SO showing up. Also one that takes the appropriate amount of time and that you do alone, so no friends can be grilled. Also one that doesn't require any paperwork (golf score card/bowling score sheet).
7.) DO NOT EVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT YOUR HOBBY LIFE! EVER! I am amazed at how many guys get busted because a friend or family member ratted them out. Tell No One, then No One can rat you out.
8.) Keep your lives seperate. Never, no matter how much you want to, ever include your hobby friends or providers in your "real" life. This is asking for trouble.
9.) Keep your mouth shut! Don't get into conversations that will reveal your knowledge of the escort industry.
10.) Don't get drunk/stoned with your SO, or people you know. This has been known to lead to uncensored informtion being revealed to people it shouldn't be.
Just some thouhgts that may be useful. Hope it helps.
Good Luck and Good Hobbying!
terrev, great advice! Thanks. As a newbie I am wondering what your thoghts are on the fact that providers have your true identity. Any concerns or ways to work around this?
reviews from hobbyists with multiple reviews, discretion should be fine. Get VIP membership so you can read the juicy details in the reviews. This is what is called "doing your homework". Stay away from CL.
but it sure seems like a lot of work to get laid to me. If I had to go through that much effort to get some strange, divorce would seem like a much more viable option to me. Of course that is exactly what I did. Fourteen years last month, I have been happily divorced.
I also have some serious issues with number 10.
10.) Don't get drunk/stoned with your SO, or people you know. This has been known to lead to uncensored informtion being revealed to people it shouldn't be.
If you do drink/get stoned, just who do you propose to do it with, Total strangers?
I personally have never done any illegal drugs and I hardly ever consume alcohol.
I was simply including that as a thing to consider if you want to be completely "safe" with your hobbying.
Feel free to get drunk/baked/stoned with your provider and fellow hobbyist friends...of course then you could reveal something about your "real" life to them you wish you hadn't.
Guess you have to choose.....hobby or drugs.
LOL
Let the flaming begin....lol
I have the luxury of not having to hide my hobbying from anybody. Self employed,divorced and loving every minute of it.
I guess I don't have to choose between drugs and the hobby, but I've already given up drugs decades ago, well except for alcohol. We can't give up all our vices, now can we? lol
BTW I don't neccessarily disagree with your advice. I am just happy that I am not in a position that I would have to follow it.
Great list of do's/don'ts. I'm flagging this message for later reference. Some I had figured out on my own, others are new to me. Wish I had this when I started
I concur with everything terrev has said above, but here are some more tidbits of advice.
1) If you live in an area with EZ-pass or other pre-paid highway tolls, do not use it when travelling to an encounter. This is written documentation that you were somewhere you normally are not.
2) Do not park in the "best spot" in incall locations if the place is viewable from the street, if you are near people who know you. This is really true if you have a unique car or license plate. Someone will see your plate, and it will get back to your SO.
3) If you eat dinner or lunch with a woman, do not go to a place where they know you. It will get back to your SO.
4) Do not park illegally, and make damn sure that the meter has enough money in it if you are parking on the street.
5) Park somewhere near were the is a lot of foot traffic in a garage. That way your car will be safer from being broken into. But hide all valuables. If you have a GPS on the dash, someone will break in. Put everything that even looks like it would get someone their next "fix" in the trunk before arriving at the incall location. Imagine filing a police report in a hotel you were not supposed to be anywhere near.
6) Do not charge anything, including parking, meals, etc. without a good reason why you were supposed to be there.
6a) Do not even try to keep a seperate bank account if you have a joint account, or a seperate credit card since your credit report will record that information. If you are like me, you always get a yearly copy of said report, and it will have that information on it. The questions will start with "What is the account about?"
7) Drive carefully. Do not speed, run red lights, cut people off, or make yourself stand out. Imagine getting a speeding ticket or having an accident where you are not supposed to be. Imagine someone calling the police to complain about your driving at some place where you are not supposed to be.
8) I personally think the seperate hobby laptop is a little overkill, just make sure you clean the computer each and every time you finish with it.
9) Use a program called truecrypt (http://www.truecrypt.org/) which allows creation of a single file on your computer to hide sensitive information in with a very strong password. The filename of the master file can be anything (put it in \windows\system32 as a file called werasd.dll for example), so no one will locate it and try to determine what it is.
10) If I am going to a hotel, I usually scan the parking lot once before parking. I look for cars with people in them watching others, and even marked cop cars. I have actually cancelled appointments when I have seen marked cop cars in parking lots with cops in them sitting there. Better to go home unsatisfied rather than go home
on bail.
Basically, if you are seen wherever you go, just make it so that you are not remembered that you were there.
These may seen extreme, but if you think about it, any of these things can get you in trouble.
1. Don't hobby.
2. Get a divorce.
I'm surprised more men don't get caught. We women have a freaky keen intuition. It's practically written in our genes to be able to detect infidelity. This is the risk you deal with when partaking in this hobby.
Some of the things I would be looking for if I suspected my man was cheating:
1. Stray hairs that didn't match mine or were shorter/longer than mine and yours (a fine reason why you should NEVER host at your house while the wifey is gone)
2. Scents, odd stains (not just those kind)
3. Changes in behavior- even the slightest changes can be detected when I'm suspicious. Briefer than normal? Change in phone call patterns? Change in tone of voice? A little hesitation in your voice? Stalling in response to a question? I'm onto you.
4. Having too-easy-to-guess passwords. Should I even have to mention this? Yet I do, because I know that far too many women have access to their husband/SO/ex's email accounts that it's not even funny. You men really don't give us a lot of credit here. You shouldn't even have words in your passwords, and any numbers you have should be totally random- not even some important number backwards.
5. Sudden unexpected changes in appearance, or sudden interest in getting in shape, etc.
"We women have a freaky keen intuition."
That's a reeeeeal tough one!
and if you get caught it's death by firing squad.
That should help keep you motivated to check every detail so you don't get caught.
...Just do not change.
If you do not stay late at work, do not start.
If you do not eat out at lunch, do not start.
If you have sex with the wife once a week or month, do not change
If you withdraw $XX from the ATM each time, do not withdraw more
Basically anything that changes the way you act, or what you do will set off "red-flags" in people's brains.
I always cover my tracks, always have a reason why I am not reachable (My cell phone does not work in my office's parking garage for example), When I work during the weekends, I turn up the music, and sometimes do not hear the phone.
Do not change your clothing, and make damn sure you have a bar of the soap you use at home with you at all times hidden away.
At my old company, we had two offices, so I travelled between the two offices at least 3 times a week. They were a good 45 minutes apart, and many times I would stop for "lunch" on the way from one to the other.
One final bit of advice, never use a pre-paid highway toll tag to go somewhere to see someone. This is a paper trail and can be accessed by many people. Many divorces have been based on this evidence.
Most get busted b/c of their computers! Since you're on a computer right now, ask yourself, "what can I do to prevent the SO from finding out? Then do it.
Perfume is a dead giveaway. You should have showered before returning home. Yes, it pays to even carry a bar of unscented soap to the appointment and just leave it there or a gym bag that you use at the gym.
Cosmetics? Did you get makeup on your collar? Thats another no/no.
Did you leave something laying around with the provider's address on it?
Does she get the bills, including your cell phone bill, and she saw a number she did not recognize and decided to call?
Did you fail to clear your computer history and she found the websites you browsed.
Does she have your e-mail password, or guessed it, and read the e-mail where you set up the appointment?
