"If every provider asked for references, where would a first-timer go to get a reference?"
Well, that's a theoretical question, since not every provider asks for references. Many ladies do not ask for references and allow ID/work and alternate screening methods. Some take Date-check and other verification services.
"Some provider has to give that guy a chance."
Many do!
: )
"But, why should some providers take that chance, then share that information with their competitors?"
Because first, I don't believe in competition. All ladies are so lovely and unique! We each have our own niche, and we are popular in a large part by mans drive for variety. The friends who have a great time with me appreciate when I help them to meet other ladies, and often return to visit with me in the future. In fact, sometimes it is my best marketing to encourage friends to meet other ladies - they can better see the things that make me and my offerings special.
"If I were a provider doing the hard screening work for guys without providers, why would I then verify that information to another provider who wants well-screened clients but doesn't want to do the hard work screening them?"
Any lady who asks for references should also be giving them. A bit of the, "I scratch your back and you scratch mine." Believe it or not, not all of us are cut-throat. Many of us ladies adore our peers and are happy to go out of our way to help keep others safe.
"Do providers who ask for references consider themselves higher on the provider food chain than those who don't?"
Higher on the food chain? No, I consider myself professional and someone who looks out for my future interests. Over a lady who doesn't screen I DO consider myself safer, and that makes things safer for my friends.
Does that answer a few of your questions?
Of course, anything I type is just my own perspective and thoughts...
: )
If every provider asked for references, where would a first-timer go to get a reference?
Some provider has to give that guy a chance.
But, why should some providers take that chance, then share that information with their competitors?
If I were a provider doing the hard screening work for guys without references, why would I then verify that information to another provider who wants well-screened clients but doesn't want to do the hard work screening them?
Do providers who ask for references consider themselves higher on the provider food chain than those who don't?
Just so you know -- I totally and completely get the screening process. Totally. No problem.
The reference thing is different to me.
Of course, I do understand that providers are free to require references and I'm free to go elsewhere. Nothing personal, ya know?
But I did have some questions.
-- Modified on 9/3/2008 3:50:47 PM
who does see many newbies who have not found their way to TER. Everyone does have to start somewhere and that means providers too.
A reference for you is a review for a provider. It will open many doors and validate you to some degree. Most ladies do ask for references and some just do screening of personal information so all is not lost. Keep trying and someone will feel comfortable with you.
I do ask for references once in a while but most of the time I do my own research. I'm an older lady and I think i'm considered on the bottom of the food chain by some 
Kisses Haley
-- Modified on 9/4/2008 8:22:12 AM
Instead of calling Haley an "older lady", I would call her an experienced lady who enjoys what she does and it shows.
She is one who shares the knowledge gained from her experience generously with all who ask and is also very highly thought of as is evidenced by her outstanding and consistently high performance numbers.
She offers a wealth of very valuable information and is a genuinely nice lady.
-- Modified on 9/3/2008 8:27:35 PM
...is a stupid git with no place in the hobby! I think you are gorgeous, and it's a shame you're not bi!
I am very bi but choose not to have it on my profile.. I could have a few more 10's if I did.
Somethings you have to save for special occasions
Kisses Haley
the requisite information to check out. References aren't just for ease of screening, they are a way for the provider to get some feedback as to your integrity, safety, and predilections. They want to hear that you didn't, among other things, short, NCNS, scare or hurt the provider.
Good luck
"If every provider asked for references, where would a first-timer go to get a reference?"
Well, that's a theoretical question, since not every provider asks for references. Many ladies do not ask for references and allow ID/work and alternate screening methods. Some take Date-check and other verification services.
"Some provider has to give that guy a chance."
Many do!
: )
"But, why should some providers take that chance, then share that information with their competitors?"
Because first, I don't believe in competition. All ladies are so lovely and unique! We each have our own niche, and we are popular in a large part by mans drive for variety. The friends who have a great time with me appreciate when I help them to meet other ladies, and often return to visit with me in the future. In fact, sometimes it is my best marketing to encourage friends to meet other ladies - they can better see the things that make me and my offerings special.
"If I were a provider doing the hard screening work for guys without providers, why would I then verify that information to another provider who wants well-screened clients but doesn't want to do the hard work screening them?"
Any lady who asks for references should also be giving them. A bit of the, "I scratch your back and you scratch mine." Believe it or not, not all of us are cut-throat. Many of us ladies adore our peers and are happy to go out of our way to help keep others safe.
"Do providers who ask for references consider themselves higher on the provider food chain than those who don't?"
Higher on the food chain? No, I consider myself professional and someone who looks out for my future interests. Over a lady who doesn't screen I DO consider myself safer, and that makes things safer for my friends.
Does that answer a few of your questions?
Of course, anything I type is just my own perspective and thoughts...
: )
All So correct they are- listen up !
Sola and Haley couldnt have given you better info - they been around a while -
Many girls dont do references-
And yes- us ladies that know how to screen ARE higher on the food chain -
Those who DONT SCREEN - are low on the food chain and get eatin up my sharks in a Buffalo second !
Select a provider that won't require a reference. Book a session with her. After the session, ask her if you can use her as a reference. Be charming and she will probably say yes.
try seeing ladies who will personally verify you and will then give you verification with one of these recognized sites.
That way you will kill two birds with one stone. You will get to see a lady and you will end up with a verification that is there for other ladies to see.
I don't require references, they are just an added bonus. I do my own screening process, so that once I've verified someone I'm pretty confident.
I also have absolutely no problem providing a reference for a client. If he's already shown interest in seeing another lady, why would I try to prevent him from doing so? If you are confident in yourself and in your ability then there's no need to not be gracious when dealing with other ladies.
We are not in competition, we all bring something a bit different to the table, or to bed.
I do research as well but I feel just a bit more at ease if a well reviewed Lady gives her seal of approval, and in the same token, I am always willing to give refs as well. Its not about competition in any way.
Variety is the Spice of life...and in part, the basis for this business.
Be safe all~
Nicole
-- Modified on 9/3/2008 9:11:51 PM