I've been away from the Boards and the hobby for a long time and found myself easing back into the habit once again. While TER always had phony Asian Massage Parlor reviews, and the crank--"She laughed at my small dick" reviews--by and large one could rely on the average review being of use. As I was trying to choose between seeing a new provider with slightly lower ratings than one of my all time favorites, I happened across two recent reviews of Elizabeth, one by WanderMonger and the other by JoseBus1. Joy leapt into my heart as I imagined myself wallowing in her fleshy charms. So I called Vintage Pink, today, and discovered that, as I had remembered, Elizabeth has been gone from Vintage Pink for many, many months. I felt sad--like the Mexican worker that "Landslide" Lyndon Johnson used to joke about from his first Senatorial Electon. Johnson came upon one of his supporters in tears at Johnson's victory celebration. "Jose, what's the problem?" "Oh, Senor Johnson, my grandfather who I thought was dead is on the voting list as having voted for you in yesterday's election." Johnson gulped and said, "Well, OK, but why are YOU crying." "Senor Johnson, my grandpapa came back from the dead to vote for you and never even dropped by to see me," the loyal Mexican voter sobbed.

I suppose, theoretically, they could have seen her six months ago and like a good Burgundy, their reviews needed aging. I think not. I propose that phony reviewers be banned for ever from TER. Let them get new names and start again.