Sam,
I agree with you. If a guy is known for cancelling apointments and then cancels one on you, why would you want to schedule another appointment for him? There is a good chance that he will do it again. He may not, but why take the chance? There are plenty of other great guys that would want to see you. What is that old saying? "Time is money". If he wastes your time and does not see you, then you loose out on money that you could have made with another client.
My suggestion is that if you think that the 2nd guy is indeed the same as the 1st, then avoid him. It does come off as creepy that after you nicely asked him to see someone else that he is still e-mailing you to see you and he is pretending to be someone else. I would move onto the next client.
I've recently experienced through e-mail (I'd never mention names, ever) a series of e-mails from someone that keeps trying to dangle multi hr appointments at me.
At first of course I asked for a referrence along with some minor info that made me decide to not see him. You see sometimes guys don't realise that you might be talking to my best friend about me and vice versa. Well I continually have respectfully ansered his e-mail along with the suggestion he ask someone else and no thank you. He continues to promise multi hr appointments.
So far as I previously have heard and one of the reasons why I hesitated originally was that he cancels quite often and sure enough he cancelled the first appointment trying to make it sound like I did by voicing my concerns, now he is trying to get me to see him. It's begining to creep me out. I continue to say no thank you as respectful as possible and had stopped responding.
Now here's why I'm wondering
Right after I stopped responding to the above gentleman, I have another gentleman that has contacted me for a similar dinner date which is pretty much the only way to get me to come into NYC these days. Well while there are differences there are similarities. Since there is still several weeks prior to the date he wants I told him to contact me a week prior to reconfirm and to give me his contact inf oand referral.
Thing is he asked me something that the other guy asked me and I'm seriously am thinking it's him.
In all honesty I'm not reallt scared I'm more so concerned with wasting my time, had the original guy not been so persistant we'd never even be at this point and I might had given him the benefit of the doubt.
I guess when the time comes for verification I'll know the real deal.
See guys why some of us have begun to be a bit more careful with the screning. I personally require, *name *contact number which might never even need to be used I just like to have it in case of emergency. And a *referral. If your a ter poster or reviewer it may make it a bit easier but I realise some of you prefer to not do this to protect your identity and I understand fully.
Thats why I hope anyone that plans on seeing me in the future joins my mailing list because soon you will only be hearing baout my incalls on my list. Just another way to become a little bit more low key and only seeing exclusively the members of my mailing list. http://www.samanthaofnewyork.com/list/maillist.php
Hey I guess we have to taske the good with the bad with this life and all we can do is be careful and go with common sense and our instincts which I try to slwys listen to. That womens 6th sense!
Also both of these guys tell me they know me from TER so they may read this and if I'm totally wrong and it don;t apply please let it slide. I I'm correct then please understand why I decided to ask you to see someone else, and why the seconde gentleman must give me contact info and referrals.
Thanks for letting me rant! Guess I'd like to hear other's thoughts on this.
Sam:
It sounds like you're doing just the right thing!
Stay safe always!
Sam,
I agree with you. If a guy is known for cancelling apointments and then cancels one on you, why would you want to schedule another appointment for him? There is a good chance that he will do it again. He may not, but why take the chance? There are plenty of other great guys that would want to see you. What is that old saying? "Time is money". If he wastes your time and does not see you, then you loose out on money that you could have made with another client.
My suggestion is that if you think that the 2nd guy is indeed the same as the 1st, then avoid him. It does come off as creepy that after you nicely asked him to see someone else that he is still e-mailing you to see you and he is pretending to be someone else. I would move onto the next client.
As I said and I want to reiterate, I would NEVER give any telling info reguarding a client the only exception would be if someone hit me or robbed me and wasting my time with cancelled appointments doesnt fall into this category.
The gentleman in question did read this post as I hoped he would, he appologized for scaring me and did admit to being the second guy. I told him I appreciate his honesty and will be willing to give him one more chance. Needless to say he cancelled agin the second appointment scheduled this am. I responded with I dont have time for this, please contact the the day before you wish to see me and not until then, it's not needed to make appointments weeks in advance especially when they keep getting cancelled. So to further not waste my time he can call me the night before and if I can do it I will , if I can't I won't.
Guys its things like this that make girls who are pretty easy in their screening become a bit more intense with them.
I have no anomosity to this person and know that eventually he will show up but I don't need a dinner date or $1000 that bad at all to deal with the aggrevation.
Keeping in mind had I not been alerted my another female I'd never of even known this yet by now I'm sure I'd have gotten just plain fed up.
A few have e-mailed me reguarding this. Someone thought I was saying I no longer do multi hr appointments due to this. Thats is absolutely not true. I LOVE dinner dates and thats the only way I'll venture into NYC these days.
My point was it tends to intimidate us when someone keeps repeadedly e-mailing them and continues to cancel (2x so far for me) For my friend it was about5-7 cancelled appointments
until they finally hooked up and when he does show he is very much the gentleman, but he appears to be playing games and I dont like games less than I like cancellations, especially repeated cancellations when you have a hystory of this.
So mr man that this post is intended for. Thanks for the truth and the appology (your info is safe with me no matter how frustrated with you I get) As I staed in the e-mail contact me the night before and if it can happen it will. I'm done crossing out and then recrossing out appointments that will never happen.
While for everyone else I ask if possible for a minimum of 72 hrs notice, there may be times I can make myself ready for a last minute dinner date as long as I have some notice.
Thanks for all the e-mails I recieved as well as the responses.
I pushed the wrong button too soon!
Seems I may have premature button ejacultation. My full thought is below.
-- Modified on 6/9/2004 10:26:32 AM
enough to give him a second chance. That's more than he should've expected from any provider pulling the stunts he is.
I believe he is probably a total charlatan.
I would steer clear of him totally now.
There's plenty of us out here!!!
Well I told him that if it happens one more time. Then I will not accept any more appointments from him unless he repaid me half my fee when making the appointment, plus I told him the fee would be non-refundable if he cancelled a 4th time.
I have never accepted a deposit before, and if I did and the guy cancelled 24 hrs in advance of course I'd refund it, but in this particular case there would be no refunds even if he told me 3 days before, lets face it thats # 4 cancelation and IMO would not deserve a refund, I'd look at it as payment for all the wasted time and aggrevation I've gone through.
I think I've been more than understanding as well as air. I don't want to be contacted by someone pretending to be someone else so I'd rather just give the guy some slack, but even I grow wearly with the BS after a while! Hopefully this will all end itself very soon!
Have fun and play safe!
Guys please remember that your actions and no shows and cancelations tend to affect the other guys as well. Just as when a provider does something stupid it sometimes has repercussions on all of us.
Lets keep this community as honest and open as smartly possible!
Thanks for listening to my rant and thanks for the feedback.
I think you've gone 'above and beyond' in your consideration of this guy. He obviously is up to some really silly shenanigans in staying in contact with you, making the appointments, and then canceling.
You've been sweet and nice. Don't let this bad apple affect the rest of us (and you!) adversely.
We need to be more vigilant and less tolerant of this type of 'tomfoolery'.
(I'm doing my best to not be RUDE or VULGAR!)