I agree, female condoms are a great option.
Also, I just wanted to give you my (unwarranted) two cents: ED is extremely common, but frustrating nonetheless. As providers, we here the 'condoms make me soft' line all the time. Sometimes it is a lie. Sometimes it is the truth. And sometimes, as I suspect, it is more of a psychological self-fulfilling prophecy. I am a strong believer that people can do what they want with their bodies, as long as it is between two consenting adults. However, I am also a strong believer of the importance of sexual wellness. While I am not really into shaming others providers who offer services with higher risk (many do so out of real or perceived financial need), I do encourage people to mitigate the risk of their behaviors as much as possible. Apart from female condoms, have you tried various sizes of male condoms? Perhaps you have not found the correct fit. Are you putting the condom on the correct way, with some lubricant on beforehand? Are you fully erect when putting the condom on? All of these things matter. You say your ED is pornography-induced. Have you considered talking to someone about this, such as a sex therapist? Sometimes, our bodies reactions are truly physical. Other times, there is a psychological aspect to it. In the very least, reading some books or even finding a provider with a therapeutic background might help. I know for many, condoms are not 'sexy'. Whether it is a generational thing, the lack of depictions of safe-sex in porn, or a connotation with unbarriered-sex and intimacy, many people just don't have positive feelings towards rubbers. If you suspect your aversion is solely from the erotica you have viewed, why not find some porn that includes condoms? There are many great films out there where the actors are engaging in safer sex. A lot of these you probably have to purchase (which, is more ethical anyway). In the end, if you are truly set on having unprotected sex (which I STRONGLY advise against) here is the advice that I give people who are sexually active with a large number of partners, in the name of harm reduction: Make sure you are getting the proper tests (this is something you should do anyway). The urine tests your GP runs usually only tests for chlamydia and gonorrhea. HIV and syphilis require a blood test. Also, don't forget about hepatitis and trichomoniasis. There is debate over whether herpes testing is even worth it, but if you are getting tested for it, opt for a genital swab over a blood sample. Consider going on PREP (the HIV preventative drug), get your Hep vaccines (again, you should do this anyway), and if you are in the eligible age range, get the HPV vaccine. It is possible to have safe, fulfilling sexual experiences, regardless of the level of vasocongestion of your penis.OK. So I recently was able to finally experience penetrative sex last week. I saw a XXX lady but she asked for no review as she doesn't want her brother's political campaign to get ruined through oppositional research. It was a good session so I complied.
We had bbbj starting out but the actual sex was covered. Now I'm supportive of safe sex but in my case I'm only partially able to perform strapped up. It's most likely an extension of my porn induced ED recovery but I have a suspicion that if I can go without a rubber there'd be no problems.
Now I understand BBFS is risky as the ladies don't know us from a can of paint. I am perfectly willing to get tested and bring the results with me to ease all concerns. If there are any providers that are willing to allow BBFS after confirmed testing please post your contact information in the reply.
Female condoms are the next best thing to BBFS.
I agree, female condoms are a great option.
Also, I just wanted to give you my (unwarranted) two cents:
ED is extremely common, but frustrating nonetheless. As providers, we here the 'condoms make me soft' line all the time. Sometimes it is a lie. Sometimes it is the truth. And sometimes, as I suspect, it is more of a psychological self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am a strong believer that people can do what they want with their bodies, as long as it is between two consenting adults. However, I am also a strong believer of the importance of sexual wellness. While I am not really into shaming others providers who offer services with higher risk (many do so out of real or perceived financial need), I do encourage people to mitigate the risk of their behaviors as much as possible.
Apart from female condoms, have you tried various sizes of male condoms? Perhaps you have not found the correct fit. Are you putting the condom on the correct way, with some lubricant on beforehand? Are you fully erect when putting the condom on? All of these things matter.
You say your ED is pornography-induced. Have you considered talking to someone about this, such as a sex therapist? Sometimes, our bodies reactions are truly physical. Other times, there is a psychological aspect to it. In the very least, reading some books or even finding a provider with a therapeutic background might help.
I know for many, condoms are not 'sexy'. Whether it is a generational thing, the lack of depictions of safe-sex in porn, or a connotation with unbarriered-sex and intimacy, many people just don't have positive feelings towards rubbers. If you suspect your aversion is solely from the erotica you have viewed, why not find some porn that includes condoms? There are many great films out there where the actors are engaging in safer sex. A lot of these you probably have to purchase (which, is more ethical anyway).
In the end, if you are truly set on having unprotected sex (which I STRONGLY advise against) here is the advice that I give people who are sexually active with a large number of partners, in the name of harm reduction:
Make sure you are getting the proper tests (this is something you should do anyway). The urine tests your GP runs usually only tests for chlamydia and gonorrhea. HIV and syphilis require a blood test. Also, don't forget about hepatitis and trichomoniasis. There is debate over whether herpes testing is even worth it, but if you are getting tested for it, opt for a genital swab over a blood sample. Consider going on PREP (the HIV preventative drug), get your Hep vaccines (again, you should do this anyway), and if you are in the eligible age range, get the HPV vaccine.
It is possible to have safe, fulfilling sexual experiences, regardless of the level of vasocongestion of your penis.
Hello. I'm going to summarize my response. 1) When i get tested I go for the full gamut so that means blood & urine. 2) switching the type of porn to watch isn't going to cut it. Without going into a rant; porn effects the brain like heroine does on a neurological level. That it gets super stimulated. 3) No i have not seen a sex therapist that's something i will consider. 4) This is not a brag-splaining but yes i've tried different sized condoms and none of them fit me to the point of where i can consistently perform. The ladies i've seen tell me i have a big dick and these condom makers don't seem to take girth into consideration.
And lastly. As i said previously my desire is to find a provider that is willing to see me on the regular. Not go from girl to girl barebacking.
Also, I just wanted to give you my (unwarranted) two cents:
ED is extremely common, but frustrating nonetheless. As providers, we here the 'condoms make me soft' line all the time. Sometimes it is a lie. Sometimes it is the truth. And sometimes, as I suspect, it is more of a psychological self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am a strong believer that people can do what they want with their bodies, as long as it is between two consenting adults. However, I am also a strong believer of the importance of sexual wellness. While I am not really into shaming others providers who offer services with higher risk (many do so out of real or perceived financial need), I do encourage people to mitigate the risk of their behaviors as much as possible.
Apart from female condoms, have you tried various sizes of male condoms? Perhaps you have not found the correct fit. Are you putting the condom on the correct way, with some lubricant on beforehand? Are you fully erect when putting the condom on? All of these things matter.
You say your ED is pornography-induced. Have you considered talking to someone about this, such as a sex therapist? Sometimes, our bodies reactions are truly physical. Other times, there is a psychological aspect to it. In the very least, reading some books or even finding a provider with a therapeutic background might help.
I know for many, condoms are not 'sexy'. Whether it is a generational thing, the lack of depictions of safe-sex in porn, or a connotation with unbarriered-sex and intimacy, many people just don't have positive feelings towards rubbers. If you suspect your aversion is solely from the erotica you have viewed, why not find some porn that includes condoms? There are many great films out there where the actors are engaging in safer sex. A lot of these you probably have to purchase (which, is more ethical anyway).
In the end, if you are truly set on having unprotected sex (which I STRONGLY advise against) here is the advice that I give people who are sexually active with a large number of partners, in the name of harm reduction:
Make sure you are getting the proper tests (this is something you should do anyway). The urine tests your GP runs usually only tests for chlamydia and gonorrhea. HIV and syphilis require a blood test. Also, don't forget about hepatitis and trichomoniasis. There is debate over whether herpes testing is even worth it, but if you are getting tested for it, opt for a genital swab over a blood sample. Consider going on PREP (the HIV preventative drug), get your Hep vaccines (again, you should do this anyway), and if you are in the eligible age range, get the HPV vaccine.
It is possible to have safe, fulfilling sexual experiences, regardless of the level of vasocongestion of your penis.