Carolinas
Re: Can't let this go by
YOU ARE WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
My wife and I too became less intimate as time went by and I too rationalized seeing providers as having needs met without any chance of an emotional entanglement. I even convinced myself I was doing my wife a FAVOR by doing this and by not pestering her with my needs. Well, I'm the biggest idiot in the world and you, my friend, are right behind me. If you truly love your wife, you will stop and stop now. Do you realize how much she is going to be hurt? Do you really think she is going to say "Thank you darling for doing that'? REALLY???? And how about your kids. How old are they?
My wife filed for divorce the very next day after discovering my escapades, and here we are 3 years later and I've not once had the opportunity to explain any of it. My step-daughter and son have not spoken to me once in these 3 years since even though I send e-mails weekly. My step-daughter has had a child during this time and do you think I get to be involved? Not hardly. So, here I am, after 25 years of marriage divorced, alone, with no family. Like I said, I too loved my wife with all my heart. She was the only relationship I ever had. Just yesterday I was told she has remarried and I just want to kick myself. She was a great wife and even better mother and will be a fantastic grandmother. Too bad I'll never get to see her face light up again.
So take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself....why am I doing this? I suggest you simply confront (not angrily of course) her and work it out with her. You are on a bad path and you will be found out eventually.
My wife and I too became less intimate as time went by and I too rationalized seeing providers as having needs met without any chance of an emotional entanglement. I even convinced myself I was doing my wife a FAVOR by doing this and by not pestering her with my needs. Well, I'm the biggest idiot in the world and you, my friend, are right behind me. If you truly love your wife, you will stop and stop now. Do you realize how much she is going to be hurt? Do you really think she is going to say "Thank you darling for doing that'? REALLY???? And how about your kids. How old are they?
My wife filed for divorce the very next day after discovering my escapades, and here we are 3 years later and I've not once had the opportunity to explain any of it. My step-daughter and son have not spoken to me once in these 3 years since even though I send e-mails weekly. My step-daughter has had a child during this time and do you think I get to be involved? Not hardly. So, here I am, after 25 years of marriage divorced, alone, with no family. Like I said, I too loved my wife with all my heart. She was the only relationship I ever had. Just yesterday I was told she has remarried and I just want to kick myself. She was a great wife and even better mother and will be a fantastic grandmother. Too bad I'll never get to see her face light up again.
So take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself....why am I doing this? I suggest you simply confront (not angrily of course) her and work it out with her. You are on a bad path and you will be found out eventually.
scb19,
I don't mean any disrespect at all, but what state allowed her to file the next day for divorce? I might want to move there 
.
Thanks in advance and sorry to hear your story and I hope you find happiness!
BF
I'm single now and am not in any relationship. Should I meet someone new, I'll stop. I'll take the shot of sarcasm, but please note my advice is well intended. I got caught trying to do the right thing. My wife found some very very very old bookmarks for porn that were buried on my bookmarks. I had forgotten they were there or would have deleted them. I kept other bookmarks on on-line sites like yahoo under an alias. Long story short is she found the bookmarks-went ballistic just over the porn and was considering leaving me. My adult son talked to her and she came around. When I saw how bad just porn bothered her, I went into the computer and deleted every "membership" I had, some of which were to places like this, , etc. I told her that evening that I had gotten rid of all the "porn stuff" and it was all over-and it was. She got up the next morning at 5am and searched my history (no, I don't know why I didn't delete it, I had every other time before) and saw the escort sites and really hit the ceiling. There was no talking to her after that. She took my computer, had someone hack into my on-line email and many of these accounts and the rest is history. I'm sorry you feel your wife doesn't care enough to be concerned. That is sad in itself. Good luck to you.
...And you are on the TER board? Why? Thanks for the advice of talking with my wife! I never thought of that! How did you get caught? My wife doesn't care enough to be concerned. thus
YOU ARE WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
My wife and I too became less intimate as time went by and I too rationalized seeing providers as having needs met without any chance of an emotional entanglement. I even convinced myself I was doing my wife a FAVOR by doing this and by not pestering her with my needs. Well, I'm the biggest idiot in the world and you, my friend, are right behind me. If you truly love your wife, you will stop and stop now. Do you realize how much she is going to be hurt? Do you really think she is going to say "Thank you darling for doing that'? REALLY???? And how about your kids. How old are they?
My wife filed for divorce the very next day after discovering my escapades, and here we are 3 years later and I've not once had the opportunity to explain any of it. My step-daughter and son have not spoken to me once in these 3 years since even though I send e-mails weekly. My step-daughter has had a child during this time and do you think I get to be involved? Not hardly. So, here I am, after 25 years of marriage divorced, alone, with no family. Like I said, I too loved my wife with all my heart. She was the only relationship I ever had. Just yesterday I was told she has remarried and I just want to kick myself. She was a great wife and even better mother and will be a fantastic grandmother. Too bad I'll never get to see her face light up again.
So take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself....why am I doing this? I suggest you simply confront (not angrily of course) her and work it out with her. You are on a bad path and you will be found out eventually.
My wife and I too became less intimate as time went by and I too rationalized seeing providers as having needs met without any chance of an emotional entanglement. I even convinced myself I was doing my wife a FAVOR by doing this and by not pestering her with my needs. Well, I'm the biggest idiot in the world and you, my friend, are right behind me. If you truly love your wife, you will stop and stop now. Do you realize how much she is going to be hurt? Do you really think she is going to say "Thank you darling for doing that'? REALLY???? And how about your kids. How old are they?
My wife filed for divorce the very next day after discovering my escapades, and here we are 3 years later and I've not once had the opportunity to explain any of it. My step-daughter and son have not spoken to me once in these 3 years since even though I send e-mails weekly. My step-daughter has had a child during this time and do you think I get to be involved? Not hardly. So, here I am, after 25 years of marriage divorced, alone, with no family. Like I said, I too loved my wife with all my heart. She was the only relationship I ever had. Just yesterday I was told she has remarried and I just want to kick myself. She was a great wife and even better mother and will be a fantastic grandmother. Too bad I'll never get to see her face light up again.
So take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself....why am I doing this? I suggest you simply confront (not angrily of course) her and work it out with her. You are on a bad path and you will be found out eventually.