... as PART of my screening process.
Eek
I am not keen on white listing. I've touched on this before...... people change. A client that is the perfect visitor for five year can change into the visitor from hell.....or feel that because they have your trust, can now get over on you because your guard is down. I don't trust anyone in the hobby completely
Back in my DC days, I saw this one guy for well over 5 years. I had been to his house, he had been to mine. This guy was mega professional, well educated, A-type personality. I saw him when he was single, I saw he and his wife after he got married. I kept seeing him after he divorced. I felt he and I had a great relationship. Well really we did!
This guy wanted to see a provider friend of mine also in the DC area, so I called her up and totally gushed over this hobbyist. I sang his praises to the point she let her guard down. When he went to see her, he was not the person I describe. He was into rough sex (I had never seen that side of him) and he got very rough with her. Afterward, she was really to come to my house and rough me up (I don't blame her). She was pissed! She did start talking to me again btw
I'm sorry to all the gentlemen who ask me to white list them. I just can't do it. It' not you, it's me
When it comes to screening guys do you ladies use White Listing as a part of the process?
Would love to hear the ladies responses..
one stop for verifying a potential new friend.
Steph xoxo
... as PART of my screening process.
Your experience sounds more like a screening issue than the White List.
In other words had the lady connected you because the client sent her your name and contact info as a reference you still would have verified him.
Unfortunately no one can really guarantee someone else's behavior. It's very unfortunate your client went bad. But some things are simply unforeseen.
To me the value of the White List is I can direct a lady to mine and then they have contact info fo numerous ladies that will respond to verification request. Saves me from needing to include all those emails , web sites & phone numbers in my appointment request.
I always encourage ladies to contact White List Referrals , don't just assume a guy is OK because he has a few . Like you said , a dude can change .
For me there is a difference between giving someone a good reference and calling the provider myself to let her know the guy who wants to see her is just a fantastic, wonderful person whom she has nothing to worry about (what I consider the equivalent of "white listing")
Also, you'd be surprised how many hobbyists ask me to white list them after our first visit. So then I have to ask myself...How many providers white list guys after seeing them ONE time? There is always that bit of pressure to people please that some of us providers feel to ensure a future date
White Listing means absolutely nothing to me
All whitelisting means is that the client is alright, not bad or merely, "it was a positive experience." Too much should not be inferred. A vouch that the dude is not LE.
For me it means someone I'd highly highly recommend. Someone who'd I consider one of my favorite visitors
I guess it means different things to different people
Hi ladies and gents, just adding my .02 cents here. I used to date a provider and speaking strictly on her passed dealings, she used the WL to help establish 1 thing only - That the client was a legit, paying hobbyist and not LE. A WL referral was no different to her than a verbal referral from another established provider. If the referral was given by an established provider it eased her mind that she was not being setup. She still based meeting all new clients on her gut feeling from initial texts or calls. If she detected red flags in the clients personality, attitude, wants or needs, then she rejected meeting them. So far as what Marie said about clients changing over time, I have seen that. My ex had come home more than once saying that she just ended dealings with a "regular". Over time, I guess clients would get too comfortable with her and they started pushing limits to a point of being totally disrespectful and it can be scary. As always, you ladies please be careful and trust your instincts.
It's nice to be White Listed when it wasn't requested, but you're correct not to trust too much in this lifestyle. You can't. People do change. Just spend some time with someone who didn't take their "crazy" pills and see what happens.
Sweet lil ole me had better check those lists to see if I have peed anyone off! Are those lists something like "Ransom Ware?" I just gave Uncle Sam all my $$$, sooo, I guess both are kinda, sorta in cahoots to fleece us sweet guys, a.k.a. Drew, bird...., etc. LOL
Two Cents, from a hobbyist's perspective ...
Isn't a White List referral just one more piece of information ? Doesn't the context have a lot to do with how to use that information ?
LIke "how recent was the white list referral" ? I would think if it was quite recent, that would address some of the concerns above.
If there are a number of white list referrals, and the hobbyist also has a number of reviews, and you feel like you are in sync based on those reviews ... now you have more information, more context.
I guess to me, they are not the "everything", but they are "something" ...